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Need some advice - unsure of what to do next


adrian83

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Hello peeps

 

So there's this girl who is classmates/good friends with my older sister who i've briefly known for about 1.5 years or so, lets call her K. K comes to my office to work voluntarily and study with my sister as they do the same course at university every once in a while. K is 21 years old. We had a few chats here and there but nothing happened as i was in a relationship. I do however, find her attractive. During this time, i was in a toxic relationship which has since ended approx 2 months ago which she found out from my sister. Anyways, we all headed to dinner one night (2 months ago) for a mutual friends birthday and we were all discussing about watching a horror movie the next day. So apparently my friend's gf who is also K's classmate asked if anyone was free to watch a movie the following day. Then K decided she would like to come and begged one of her good friend (a guy but has a gf - i briefly know them both) to accompany her to watch the movie with us as a group. The reason was cos this guy did not like horror movies and im pretty sure she doesnt too lol. I wanted to sit beside her but the other guy did instead. Im sure shes 100% not into this guy as they are just good friends. After the movie, i felt she was trying to get close to me whilst walking out of the cinema but nothing was spoken. The other day, she and my sister randomly came to my office to assist her in some questions about property which i promptly helped her with. I havent seen her for about 1 month now due to the COVID lockdowns we have but im pretty sure i will soon enough. My sister also asked me yesterday whether i wanted to go with them (classmates including K) for a 4 day roadtrip.

 

Apparently, she's a real shy person as my sister told me she had to really try talk to her and befriend her when she first met K. I'm quite confident she does have some sort of feelings towards me as for one, she wouldnt have come to the movies and begged a friend to accompany her.

 

Anyway, my question is, should i add her on facebook and start talking to her or would that be too creepy?. We've only been out once as a group but have seen each other every now and then when she volunteers at the office and sometimes we do exchange words here and there but not very often. Or should i just wait until the next time we do go out as a group.. which could be a while away or until the roadtrip which is about 2 months away..

 

Thanks in advance

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As a shy person I can say that anytime the other person takes the lead in something, it's appreciated. If you like her, why wait? Try to get in touch with her anyway you can. As long as you're not messaging her constantly, I don't think it would be viewed as creepy. It's simply a person wanting to get in touch with a friend. And since in person is not an option those days, that leaves electronic means. Though I'll warn you that if she is really that shy, it might take some time to get her out of her shell. Be patient, be kind, and just focus on having a good time chatting with her.

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How old are you? I don't think there's any harm in trying to add her or send her a friend request but if she declines, you need to be level-headed enough to accept rejection also and not get too down about it. Even if she accepts the request it doesn't mean anything. Keep it real whatever you do and don't read into things too quickly. People do all sorts of things to keep the peace where it concerns mutual friends or mutual connections. She's a friend of your sister so as long as your remain neutral and respectful whatever the outcome, you'll be fine.

 

What made you think she was trying to get close to you at the outting? Asking out of curiosity.

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It's understandable you are lonely and hurting because you broke up with your GF 8 weeks ago.

However this girl is not your cure for heartaches.

 

Lay back and take some time. Chitchat at the office, but don't chase or start setting the table to ask her out.

 

She most likely knows about your very recent breakup and she has to see you in the office so it makes the whole thing awkward.

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I'm quite confident she does have some sort of feelings towards me as for one, she wouldnt have come to the movies and begged a friend to accompany her.

 

I have no idea why you read this as evidence that she is interested in you. I don't see that at all.

 

However, if you're interested in her, take initiative and tell her. Ask her out.

 

Lurking behind social media is what will make you seem creepy.

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