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How can I motivate him to call me his girlfriend


mayflower165
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So I’ve been seeing a guy for the past 4 months. In those months a lot has happened. At month 2 we decided to be exclusive. We’ve been seeing each other consistently and at month 3 he invited me for a weekend away with him in another state. We took that trip together and It was amazing. He paid for our stay, as well as bought me some gifts. We both stated that we’re looking for a relationship. We’ve been on a double date with my friend and her husband with plans to see them again next month. He’s also invited me to a double date with his friend and fiancé sometime this month. We call each other the couple nicknames such as baby and bae. And there was a time where he referred to me as his girl. I’m pretty sure that everyone on his side knows about me and it’s the same for me. My only concern is that I’m ready to call him my boyfriend, but we’ve never had that talk yet where we’ve said we were going to be an official couple. What are some ways I can get him say that we’re going to be an official couple, boyfriend/girlfriend. What can I do to motivate him a bit more. Any tips?

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As a guy, I would not be calling a women baby and saying she was my girl unless I already considered her my girlfriend. If you've already talked about being exclusive, that sounds like you've had the talk already. So, is it just that he doesn't use the words? Because everything else sounds like it is going great. Maybe he just doesn't see how important those words are to you. If you really need it, let him know. Ask him if he wants to make it official. If you are comfortable, playfully call him your boyfriend. The best way to handle any situation is straight forward and honestly. Oh, and don't get so caught up in labels and little things, that you miss out on the great relationship happening all around you.

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Why can't you use his name? Why do you have to introduce him as your bf? I would think that would be obvious by how you interacted.

 

Personally, I don't anyone that introduces their bf/gf in that manner. I think it is time that you became more secure in your relationship.

 

How old are you?

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What is wrong with the relationship that you can’t just ask him if he considers you to be his gf?

 

I think you are highly anxious and need to chill out a bit.

 

How do you currently introduce him?? And what’s wrong with introducing someone by their name without a label?

 

Does it really matter whether you say to someone “this is Simon” or “this is my boyfriend Simon”?

 

What is more important to you?

How you get on or how you label each other?

 

Personally I always disliked a guy introducing me as “my gf Billie “ , just freaking introduce me as “Billie”

 

People will deduce what they like.

 

But who cares? And why do you think anyone else cares?

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The issue is communication - look up the song from fiddler on the roof "Do you love me" - it's like your situation. Does he tell you what his intentions are towards you as far as future potential? Have you told him? That's the really important discussion.

 

Also never try to motivate someone or convince someone to want to be with you or to want to be with you in a more serious way. Just be you. And let him be him. And let him come to that decision on his own.

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Thanks, I guess I am being a bit anxious. We both have had talks about the future and what we both are looking for and we both seem to be on the same page. He does treat me like his girlfriend, so I guess I shouldnÂ’t be too hung up on the labels. I guess weÂ’re in one of those situations where you wake up one day and realize youÂ’re already in a relationship!

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Thanks, I guess I am being a bit anxious. We both have had talks about the future and what we both are looking for and we both seem to be on the same page. He does treat me like his girlfriend, so I guess I shouldnÂ’t be too hung up on the labels. I guess weÂ’re in one of those situations where you wake up one day and realize youÂ’re already in a relationship!

 

As long as the substance is there - you're on the same page, future intentions, exclusivity I wouldn't worry much about what he calls you. I personally didn't like being called "friend" by someone I was dating so there's that. But it all sounds good. Enjoy!!!

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Less is always more, Mayflower. Keep it light.

 

And I agree with the others. Introduce him by his name.

 

Just to ask how does he feel about your son?

 

He’s fine with dating a woman with a child. He’s done it in the past. But I haven’t introduced them yet. I’m waiting for when I feel the time is right.

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It would be best to wait a year before introducing this man to your son.

 

From what you say do I gather that this man is local to your area/city? How did you meet him?

 

Have you ever considered that it might be better to take a break of a few months at least between a break-up (April) and immediately getting involved with a new person (current man)?

Edited by LaHermes
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Trying to ' motivate ' someone to do something before they choose to do it on their own tends to back fire.

Wouldn't it mean more if he did so spontaneously? Pushing for It , I'd be wondering if he did it to appease me rather than it coming from a genuine place.

It feels like an anxious desire to further cement a new relationship that seems to be going fine just the way it is.

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Are you exclusive? Why do you need a "talk" for a title? Is that a big deal in your culture? Titles mean nothing. Focus on what actions you observe. Focus on quality in-person interaction.

What are some ways I can get him say that we’re going to be an official couple, boyfriend/girlfriend. What can I do to motivate him a bit more. Any tips?
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It's okay to be nervous, I think of the times where I was in your shoes and yeah, it's good to know 100% if you're on the same page.

 

I'm guessing that by the way you describe everything, that you're definitely his girlfriend.

 

The way I went about it back when I was in your shoes was I casually asked the man I was dating, if he minded me introducing him as my boyfriend when he met my friends or family and see what he said.

 

It's an exciting time in your relationship though and it sounds as though it's going really well.

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Since you've both already agreed to be exclusive, what does 'official gf/bf' look like to you?

 

In other words, what does that require? A status change on social media? A celebration of some kind? Just a sentence of admission from him?

 

Figure out exactly what you want him to say or do that he's not saying or doing.

 

Let us know what that is, and we can go from there knowing what we're talking about.

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Since you've both already agreed to be exclusive, what does 'official gf/bf' look like to you?

 

 

In other words, what does that require? A status change on social media? A celebration of some kind? Just a sentence of admission from him?

 

Figure out exactly what you want him to say or do that he's not saying or doing.

 

Let us know what that is, and we can go from there knowing what we're talking about.

 

I’d like there to be more of an acknowledgement. A sentence of admission! That’s what it is!

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