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Sometimes things aren’t meant to be


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Today my boyfriend of a year and seven months broke up with me over messenger. He said due to Corona virus and it affecting us being apart he had time to reflect how we’re two different people.

 

He’s not wrong I want a relationship that’s more settled where he’s more of a nomad.

 

Besides logistics though he never wanted to get engaged to me. He said he wasn’t ready to be married. I’ve been down this road before and it’s not my first rodeo where a guy leads me on but keeps making excuses to why he won’t commit. I’m just older and wiser to cut it off before it progresses any further.

 

I know what I want and need out of a relationship and he just isn’t going to give me those things and quite frankly I’m sick of hearing excuse after excuse.

 

If a guy wants you he’ll make it happen.

 

If he wants to work on a relationship he won’t break up with you.

 

It’s really that simple.

 

So him breaking up with me over Facebook messenger shows I can do so much better!

 

I know my worth. I’m not going to wait for someone to try to see it.

 

I honestly feel relieved..it hurts worse in an odd way that his break up makes sense.

 

We were always better off as friends.

 

I wish him well.

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When it's over, you know it. Sometimes life takes two people done different paths and they are only together for a little while, enriching each other's life and helping point you on to the one you are suppose to be with. limichelle, you know your worth and you know what you want. That puts you ahead of so many others. I have no doubt that good things are coming your way and that you will find your someone eventually, someone who wants the same things you do.

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I'm so sorry you're hurting, Limichelle. Given your health issues, it sounds as though you've learned that life is too short to put up with anyone who's not all-in.

 

My heart goes out to you, and I'm with you in spirit on appreciating your worth.

 

Head high, and big (((HUG))).

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You are very wise, limichelle. Live and learn.

 

I'm sorry for the break up and for him telling you over FB messenger. :upset:

 

There is a better man out there for you and both of you deserve each other.

 

You've handled yourself and him graciously which I commend you for.

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onward and upward limichelle! (((hugs)))

 

you do deserve better and you will find it.

 

Emotions ebb and flow. We're here to listen.

 

And boo on him doing it via messenger after all this time. I thought my ex sucked cause he called and didn't give me an in person conversation. But I guess, when someone isn't the one, they really aren't the one!

 

[emoji173]

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You'll find someone better but you know that! I am pleased to see the mature post you wrote, none of the whining and crying and oh my god, how do I get him back!!?? It's a relief to see someone confident enough to know they can carry on and life will improve.

 

It was a crappy way for him to break up with you!

 

Good luck!

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You are very wise, limichelle. Live and learn.

 

I'm sorry for the break up and for him telling you over FB messenger. :upset:

 

There is a better man out there for you and both of you deserve each other.

 

You've handled yourself and him graciously which I commend you for.

 

Sending exactly the same thoughts. Hugs.

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His loss, your gain.

 

After a year and a half he should have at least called you and had a conversation with you about his feelings and wanting to end the relationship. Pretty cowardly to do it through messenger.

 

If anyone gives excuses why they will not commit more deeply as the relationship goes on then they are not for you. You know what you want and many times people may move at different speeds in a relationship but if you are both heading towards the same destination that is all that matters.

 

He obviously was never going to a place you wanted to go...

 

Be good to yourself and keep reminding yourself that this is a good thing even though it hurts.

 

Lost

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Thank you everyone!

 

As I’ve gotten older I’ve realized, I don’t have time to waste on somebody who isn’t sure about me.

 

What you've just said nailed it. I apply what you've just said to everyone in my life. It took decades of trial and error to arrive at your conclusion. I wished I would've realized your wisdom earlier. Better late than never!

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He wants to still be friends and I see that as two options:

 

One option: okay I respect that we couldn’t work but having him still on Facebook isn’t harmful. As I agree one hundred percent with the break up. I dislike how he broke up with me but I can move on and past it.

 

Option Two: Delete him entirely from Facebook and remove him from my life. I wish him well but in the bitter voice in the back of my head. Does he really deserve my friendship?

 

I think I need just to leave him where’s he at and give myself a couple of more days to where I can think more clearly and not go by just emotion.

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Is this only about facebook? You can also choose not to log in or deactivate your account for awhile. Unplug from social media altogether. I don't think blocking and deleting someone is that effective. A person can just as easily unblock and snoop on someone if they really wanted to or talk to that person if they're tempted.

 

If he's not bothering you or initiating any contact and respects your privacy or gives you space, there's really no point to deleting anyone. Later on you may feel it's erroneous keeping him around if you start to date someone new and want no ties to your past or exes.

 

I agree you don't need to be making any big decisions now and social media should be the least of your worries. Onto bigger and better things.

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Is this only about facebook? You can also choose not to log in or deactivate your account for awhile. Unplug from social media altogether. I don't think blocking and deleting someone is that effective. A person can just as easily unblock and snoop on someone if they really wanted to or talk to that person if they're tempted.

 

If he's not bothering you or initiating any contact and respects your privacy or gives you space, there's really no point to deleting anyone. Later on you may feel it's erroneous keeping him around if you start to date someone new and want no ties to your past or exes.

 

I agree you don't need to be making any big decisions now and social media should be the least of your worries. Onto bigger and better things.

 

 

I think I need a break from social media. He’s not bothering me but I need to unplug and unwind. Thanks Rose, I’m inspired to step back.

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Very welcome. After the sadness comes unsurpassed and blissful peace and freedom. I've also deactivated my social media accounts although I'm nearly certain I will not be returning. I didn't think of it until now actually - whether to return or not. It represents an older era I'm just not interested in anymore and all the people who matter to me are with me in the flesh and I see them regularly.

 

I'm replacing it with more meaningful meet ups and coffees and dinner/lunch dates with friends. It will feel so good to get out there and walk and get to know your town again. One thing I love doing is visiting local businesses so I have favourite places to go to and love chatting with the people who work there. There are also endless projects at home. Is there something at home you want to improve? I just cleaned out quite a lot of junk in the past two weekends. Felt really good.

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He started to send me nasty epiphanies about how we were toxic and most of our relationship was drama and a lot of bad points.

 

I honestly felt so emotionally drained at that point I just blocked him.

 

How awful!! It's his issues - I cannot imagine someone ending an important relationship as he did. What jerky behavior. Good for you!

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He started to send me nasty epiphanies about how we were toxic and most of our relationship was drama and a lot of bad points.

 

I honestly felt so emotionally drained at that point I just blocked him.

you did the right thing blocking him! what is with this guy? When you break up with someone and they can walk away, you shouldn't chase after them with more reasons.

 

what a jerk. I say no to friendship! It's clearer than ever, you dodged a bullet!

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