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do butterflys matter? long confused story

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I been in a relationship with my partner for years and years. I can't remember ever feeling butterflys but we got along really well and he made me happy. I just came out another relationship but my brain insisted that he was good and I should take the opportunity. He became my best friend and I never regretted. We had small arguments but for years nothing serious, we always laughed together supported one another and treated each other well. Sex wasnt that good unless we were drunk but I never really thought much of it, I think eventually he didnt care either. He stopped making effort alot last couple years and have some opposite views on things that matter to me and we never talked about eachothers needs(he got difficult about it) but I didnt think I really cared. I never thought I'd be interested in anyone else and I never made or reflected a move another guy made on me. Recently I have been going out more with friends while he is focusing on career which is fine. I've been spending a lot of time with a friend who had feelings but I never had them back and always made this clear. We had drunk sex 8 months ago and I admitted this was a mistake and we moved on(my partner knows and was understanding) then months later, recently we had sex again and it was different. I wanted it back, I had strong feelings and I couldnt stop thinking about it. I had the sudden rush of a decision to break up with my partner, like my gut wouldn't let me do anything else. it was hard but it felt like the right thing to have some time alone and was like I didnt even have any emotions for this person I was with for 4 years. It was like I just went crazy all of a sudden. I've spoken to my friend since and we had sex again and I can't deny it's something special and we have a connection but I don't see a future with him like I did with my partner, but I realise I never really had a connection with my partner like i do my friend. I have started minimising contact with my friend because it is too much too soon although I feel strong when I'm with him. I just dont understand how I could feel so muddled so suddenly and just break up with the person I thought I'd spend my life with. I dont know if my gut realised there wasn't a true connection or effort and I needed more? My question is does it matter that we don't have a sexual/chemical connection? Did we just need to talk about things? Why have I gone so careless and crazy so suddenly? one minute I am confused, miss my ex and crying the next minute I feel nothing. One minute I have feelings for this person and the next I want to be with the other

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