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Marriage or Life Experience?


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I’m married going on 4 years now and am starting to feel restricted in my freedoms. There are so many things in life I want to do and experience, I wanted to do them with my husband however I’m starting to think what he says and what he wants are very different. He’s 10 years older than me and at 38 he has experienced more than I have and maybe he is content with what he has done and is ready to live in the one city and work 9-5, sleep on the weekends and have a holiday to the neighbouring state every 2 years. I’m a bit more “free spirited” and want to travel and experience the world. I can’t talk to him about this because when I bring up any issue that might even elude to me being slightly critical of our marriage or even me not being happy he sulks for hours and refuses to talk and then when I drop the topic he acts as if nothing happened. Even saying I want to go visit my family turns into a fight and I only stay 1 or 2 days because the anxiety of the sulking and sadness he portrays when I get back is too much to deal with. I barely know my only niece whom is 15 months because of this. I just bury my emotions and what I want to keep the peace. I fear I’m starting to turmoil down a spiral of depression as I went to brush my hair and realised it had been about 3 weeks since I had done it last, I stopped wearing makeup because I couldn’t be bothered and stopped opening my blinds in the house. I also can’t deny we love each other and have plenty of fun when times are good. I just don’t know that I am willing to sacrifice the things I want to do in life. I don’t know what to do.

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