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He bought a flight to see me


hoyos2020
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So a few months ago on my birthday, I got a tarot reading and they told me right before the fall, the one i will marry will reveal themselves to me and confess their true love and it was someone i already know from a past life.

 

Story:

I met JR 10 years ago. When we met, He was 24, I was 19 and I was head over heels in love with him. Our relationship turned into an FWB because he “wasn’t ready to be serious” and after 2 years on and off in 2013 we stopped seeing each other after I stood him 2X because I was busy with college and finishing my bachelors.

 

So anyway, he called me randomly in 2015 asking to meet up but by then I was married and told him to not contact me and 2 years later I got divorced and moved to a different state after getting my masters degree.

 

In 2018 he requested me on FB. We exchanged # and spoke on the phone and spoke for like 3 hours catching up and he was saying why did I get married, and that WE shouldv’e been married and had kids by now etc. I was like when I wanted you, you didnt want me so thats on you and we laughed about it.

 

About a month after that, he texted me “Hey i’m in town visiting family and hope to see you “i responded, “you should’ve told me in advance so we could have made plans. I was working 3 jobs at the time and we made plans to meet up but i ended up having to cancel with him 3x cause of work. The day he left, he sent me a message saying “I can’t believe you stood me up again. I really hoped to see you after all these years. and I responded, “well you hit me up last minute, and I wasn’t going to call out of work to come see you, you don’t pay my bills. He responded, okay well if I ever come back i’ll let you know in advance.

 

We spoke on and off since 2018 but i was in/out of different relationships so I hardly ever responded and We didnt’ really talk again until this year in may 2020 when he contacted me during quarantine, In conversation he asked me “how come I never wanted him” and I told him “dude you need to move on, you are stuck in the past, when I wanted you 10 years ago you turned me down. You are nostalgic”

 

He blamed it on me and said that deep down he always knew I was the one and that its my fault we are not together but i’m the one that always stood him up, disappeared, turned him down and got married etc. I’m like yeah its called moving on and living your life, I wasn’t going to spend my life chasing you, we were just FWB’s 10 years ago like how many times do I have to explain myself. (This wasn’t me yelling, it was a heart to heart conversation)

 

Any way so then I asked, and why are you even single, like why aren’t you married with kids, and he mentioned that he has been in 3 serious relationships but he has never someone that made him even consider marriage and that he always wanted to be financially secure before settling down with anyone. Which he is now, he is in real estate and very wealthy.

 

I personally think he is going through a mid life crisis or just got dumped and realizing he’s getting old now that he’s 34. So anyway, we’ve been talking on/off for the last few months and he keeps begging to come see me so we can “talk”. and last night he texted me a photo of his flight ticket saying “I decided to book a flight and take a risk, i’m sure you’re just going to stand me up as usual, but I want you to see that I am serious and really want to see you, I’m going to be staying with family but I’ll be here and whenever you want to meet up just call me”

 

So I’m guessing he is the guy my tarot reading was talking about. I haven’t responded to him because i don’t know how to feel about this. like what is he expecting is going to happen, we’re going to lock eyes and be inseparable? Like why after all of these years he is so desperate to “see me”. Is it my fault for entertaining him every time he contacted me? Any advice would be very helpful. Thank you.

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DO NOT listen to tarot card readers. I know someone who was told that they would meet a guy named Mike in a bar and would marry him. She worked in a bar (probably let it slip to the reader in chit chat or because the reader knew her friend and the friend could have said it). Do you know how many guys named Mike there are??? She probably waited on at least 2 a night if not many more and worked with three Mikes!! . The next guy to strike up a conversation with her that was named Mike she practically threw herself at. They got married, but before they did, she had doubts -- saying she didn't know, he was not really her type.... got divorced 8 years later.

 

This guy has been hovering around the radar for years. There was a reason why you were not together. He even guilted you---- he told you that you stood him up even though HE was the one who was in town and YOU never invited him or asked him out. I think he really is on the rebound or nostalgic and i think you should be honest with yourself about this guy. There is stuff about him and not just timing that made you not have a relationship with this guy in the past. He is trying to guilt you even now by saying you will stand him up.

 

I think his boundaries might be iffy and you are receptive to him because of the tarot reader. Do not go to his hotel. You have not seen him in years- -- maybe have a friend go with you to meet him?

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Try to view it as someone visiting his family and who you can meet for coffee to catch up. His plans are not specifically to see you, but if you have time and want to meet up. Don't let the past or past disappointment delude into thinking this is some sort of fate. Relax and see what's what first. He still seems rather noncommittal.

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He blamed it on me and said that deep down he always knew I was the one and that its my fault we are not together but i’m the one that always stood him up, disappeared, turned him down and got married etc. I’m like yeah its called moving on and living your life, I wasn’t going to spend my life chasing you, we were just FWB’s 10 years ago like how many times do I have to explain myself. (This wasn’t me yelling, it was a heart to heart conversation)

 

Any way so then I asked, and why are you even single, like why aren’t you married with kids, and he mentioned that he has been in 3 serious relationships but he has never someone that made him even consider marriage and that he always wanted to be financially secure before settling down with anyone. Which he is now, he is in real estate and very wealthy.

 

I personally think he is going through a mid life crisis or just got dumped and realizing he’s getting old now that he’s 34. So anyway, we’ve been talking on/off for the last few months and he keeps begging to come see me so we can “talk”. and last night he texted me a photo of his flight ticket saying “I decided to book a flight and take a risk, i’m sure you’re just going to stand me up as usual, but I want you to see that I am serious and really want to see you, I’m going to be staying with family but I’ll be here and whenever you want to meet up just call me”

 

So I’m guessing he is the guy my tarot reading was talking about. I haven’t responded to him because i don’t know how to feel about this. like what is he expecting is going to happen, we’re going to lock eyes and be inseparable? Like why after all of these years he is so desperate to “see me”. Is it my fault for entertaining him every time he contacted me? Any advice would be very helpful. Thank you.

 

The parts in bold stood out to me. If he's going through something, so are you. Try not to play these mind games with people if you're really not interested in dating him or seeing him. Whatever he's going through, that's for him to decipher.

 

The first paragraph was extremely inappropriate. I hope you realize that and start to distance yourself a bit more. Someone who cares for you wouldn't be putting any nonsense blame on you for past mistakes or misunderstandings. As far as it looks, neither of you got very far in your romance back then either to warrant this kind of drama. Was he joking or am I misunderstanding the tone?

 

Guilting you for marrying someone else is also inappropriate and a serious red flag. He appears delusional and controlling unless, again, the tone is tongue in cheek or playful. This still wouldn't be appropriate unless you're very close friends and it doesn't sound that way.

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Forget him. And really ignore a tarot card reader who is going to tell you what he thinks you want to hear so he can make money off of you. The question here is, what do you want? How do you feel about it him. At one point you wanted more. Do you still feel that way? Do you even want a relationship right now? You have to be ready and open before anything can happen. Are you at a point in your life that you feel good with yourself and love who you are and where you are with your life?

 

On one hand, maybe things haven't worked out for a reason. On the other hand, maybe this is a long story that one day works itself out. But it needs to be your decision on what is best for you. Don't do anything just to please him. Don't be tempted to fall into old patterns if you don't want that. And don't do it because you feel you need to settle with someone. Listen to your heart and do what is right for you.

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i like to stay away from those who say they dated many but couldn't consider marriage....next thing you know you get added to the list.

Sometimes i also feel they are feeding people on with their own imaginary stories.

Don't ignore the signs, he is already giving you enough to stay away.

Have patience , try local.

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Why wouldn't you meet him? He seems very genuine and you two had a great connection. You're both single, this could be a really good thing for both of you.

 

It will be the chances you never took, that you will end up regretting.

 

Meet him, be good to each other. Life really is very short.

 

34 and 29 is not old. You both finally might be at the right age where you've both matured enough to be better in a relationship and in a good place for something serious that will work out great.

 

I hope you do take the chance. If you meet and the spark is not there, then at least you tried.

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So, he didn’t book a flight to see you as suggested in the title.

He actually is visiting family.

 

“he contacted me during quarantine, In conversation he asked me “how come I never wanted him” and I told him “dude you need to move on, you are stuck in the past, when I wanted you 10 years ago you turned me down. You are nostalgic ”

 

Sounds like he is not the only nostalgic one.

Why are you so desperate to figure out why he is suggesting to meet up?

 

Who are you to question him as to why he never got married when you only briefly were?

You are being so hypocritical!

 

You are not interested in him so why did you allow contact over the years? You enjoyed his attention?

It sounds like he is not interested in you either but contacts you on and off in between relationships and during quarantine when dating prospects are low.

 

So just cut contact and wait for your tarot reading to come true lol

 

I’ve had several tarot cards read over the years which was just a fun thing myself and girlfriends would do. It’s entertaining only. And creates some fun chit chat. For a night out or in.

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I would be weary of the way this guy is actually acting. He's acting pushy and desperate and I think you need to ask yourself why....He didn’t chase you that much before and kept dating other people. Then all of a sudden he friend requested you on Facebook out of nowhere and now he's completely throwing himself at you. To be honest this seems like the behaviour of someone that either is on the rebound because they actually got dumped by someone else, or he's freaking out that he's in his mid 30's and single. Or both! I don't buy it that he always knew you were "the one" or whatever. That is total bull! If he was so crazy about you then where was he for ten years? And even when he actually had you interested, all he wanted was sex. So what's changed? Probably he's just not getting any attention and he's going through his little black book, hitting up all his ex's lol

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This seems very plausible. His random visits to family seem like a way to have some out of town trysts since he knows you're divorced and willing to put up with him.

 

Whatever the cards say, this is not your long lost love.

Probably he's just not getting any attention and he's going through his little black book, hitting up all his ex's lol
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So, he didn’t book a flight to see you as suggested in the title.

He actually is visiting family.

 

“he contacted me during quarantine, In conversation he asked me “how come I never wanted him” and I told him “dude you need to move on, you are stuck in the past, when I wanted you 10 years ago you turned me down. You are nostalgic ”

 

Sounds like he is not the only nostalgic one.

Why are you so desperate to figure out why he is suggesting to meet up?

 

Who are you to question him as to why he never got married when you only briefly were?

You are being so hypocritical!

 

You are not interested in him so why did you allow contact over the years? You enjoyed his attention?

It sounds like he is not interested in you either but contacts you on and off in between relationships and during quarantine when dating prospects are low.

 

So just cut contact and wait for your tarot reading to come true lol

 

I’ve had several tarot cards read over the years which was just a fun thing myself and girlfriends would do. It’s entertaining only. And creates some fun chit chat. For a night out or in.

 

I thought the trip where he saw family and it didn't work out to see him was trip A and he has since bought a plane ticket to come back.

Honestly, he lacks boundaries. If he respected her, after the last trip when they couldn't meet up, he would have said "okay, let me know when you have time to meet me and we can try again and i'll come out again" leaving it in her court. I think her instincts deep down were protecting her because if you really wanted to see someone and they were genuine, you could meet them for 30 minutes for coffee before work - quickly meet up at a 24 hour Denny's after work and go right home - alone - after -- for a very quick meetup.

 

I think deep down she know but is trying to convince herself to go along with her destiny.

 

He blames her for it not working out and i have a feeling therefore he is bad news

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Whatever the cards say, this is not your long lost love.

 

You can't say for sure. I mean, who knows? He has shown a lot of interest for a very long time. Some people would say it's slightly obsessive, others would say it's romantic and he must really care deeply for you.

 

The fact that he hasn't forgotten about you and has the option to meet all sorts of women, but keeps coming back to you, says something positive.

At least in my eyes.

 

So many women on this site alone, are struggling to find a man who will care to even call them again after a few dates.

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You can't say for sure. I mean, who knows? He has shown a lot of interest for a very long time. Some people would say it's slightly obsessive, others would say it's romantic and he must really care deeply for you.

 

The fact that he hasn't forgotten about you and has the option to meet all sorts of women, but keeps coming back to you, says something positive.

At least in my eyes.

 

So many women on this site alone, are struggling to find a man who will care to even call them again after a few dates.

 

Its the language he uses -- blaming HER as the reason they are not together vs saying "hey, i thought long and hard. I should have been honest with my feelings about you long ago" OR just ask to see her with no blame, no heavy expectation and if sparks fly, great, but if coffee is just as friends -- well it was just coffee.

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I did decide not to meet up with him. What happened between us was just so long ago and I don’t want to revisit those feelings just to get hurt/disapointed again. I know myself and I can’t lie and act like I won’t have any expectations from us meeting. I let him know that I was blocking his number for good and decided to move on in my life and he should to and wished him the best. He did contact me from a different number and said "wow I flew all the way out here for you and this is how you treat me, and this is why it will never work, you're missing out on an opportunity to be with someone that will be good to you but whatever your loss, I'm done"

 

 

I haven't responded because idk what to say or whose # that was. I'm just in a different place in my life, I don't have time for games.

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I did decide not to meet up with him. What happened between us was just so long ago and I don’t want to revisit those feelings just to get hurt/disapointed again. I know myself and I can’t lie and act like I won’t have any expectations from us meeting. I let him know that I was blocking his number for good and decided to move on in my life and he should to and wished him the best. He did contact me from a different number and said "wow I flew all the way out here for you and this is how you treat me, and this is why it will never work, you're missing out on an opportunity to be with someone that will be good to you but whatever your loss, I'm done"

 

 

I haven't responded because idk what to say or whose # that was. I'm just in a different place in my life, I don't have time for games.

 

 

Good for you. That is very manipulative of him to say that. I would not waste my time with someone who I didn't even invite. what i would be worried about is if you DID meet and it just wasn't a connection or only was for a brief time, he would feel you owe him a relationship

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I did decide not to meet up with him.

 

Oh good. Glad to hear.

 

He did contact me from a different number and said "wow I flew all the way out here for you and this is how you treat me, and this is why it will never work, you're missing out on an opportunity to be with someone that will be good to you but whatever your loss, I'm done"
Oh brother. What a drama queen.

 

You dodged a bullet. A cannonball. A bunker buster. Really.

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