DancingFool Posted August 17, 2020 Share Posted August 17, 2020 Thank you! It definitely has. Yes she currently sees 3 different therapists. 2 of them I know she sees pretty regularly. She’s also in a support group for children of alcoholic parents, and another support group every Sunday for people who have left a church. So she’s getting a lot of support but it doesn’t seem to be helping her much. Just to point something out, she told me recently she had a conversation with one of her therapists about a dilemma - long story short she’s hung up on a guy she dated many years ago. He’s married, and they don’t speak To each other or anything. But she told her therapist she still follows him on social media because when she does finally get a boyfriend one day she wants him to see what he’s missing out on, be jealous, miss her, etc. Her therapist said “that’s understandable”. This is just one example, but I was thinking that was such an odd response from a therapist. It gave me the feeling that her therapists aren’t helping her. She obsesses over this guy and they haven’t spoken in 8 years. He’s married. I just feel like the therapist should have told her to unfriend this guy on social media and move on. :/ The therapist is a professional who knows what he/she is doing and probably knows very well what kind of a personality disorder your friend has. In other words, the therapist knows better than you how to respond to her in a way that might eventually be productive or at minimum not incite her into worse behavior or contradictory behavior. You are failing to understand that this woman is deeply disordered and continue to try to treat her like she is sane and so any common sense advice she will just accept, do, live by. When has she ever taken such advice? By your own admission, she doesn't. Keep reading up more on those personality disorders that seem to describe her so well. It will open your eyes a bit in terms of who you are dealing with. I hope it will open them enough that you actually walk away. This is not a healthy friendship and it's only going to get worse as she gets older Ultimately it is a one sided friendship - she uses you, unfortunately you've convinced yourself that she can't live without using you. She can and does. You are just one in a rotation of many sources of attention. Rather than focusing her, maybe focus on yourself and fix whatever it is that's attracting you to this toxic dynamic. Link to comment
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