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Does absence make the heart grow founder? (Ladies would love your thoughts)


jackjohnson4
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Hi guys,

 

I've heard a few theories lately and i'm curious.

 

As bad as it is, does intentionally ignoring someone or ghosting actually make them miss you/attract them?

 

It seems like a weird thing to do and not something I would necessarily do intentionally however I'd love to hear what the ladies think about as i'm sure we have all somewhat been in a situation like this before either being ignored or vice versa.

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I think it's one of those things that might "work" on already insecure and/or unstable people. In the same vein as "treat em mean to keep em keen".

Someone desperate to get outside validation might go chasing those who treat them like poo, as they are stuck in a loop of unresolved issues.

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Some couples are equally clouded or heated in the moment or both individuals benefit from a cooling off period to let the dust settle and realize what they've lost or work on themselves. I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

 

Intentionally and manipulatively giving someone the cold shoulder to trick that person into liking you more is wrong. I hope you know that. Any form of manipulation is wrong if the intention is to degrade or disrespect someone by playing those games.

 

Maybe the question is... why is there a desire to ignore or put someone on the back burner? Are they tough to handle? A bit OTT? Do you fear them or something about them puts you off?

 

I'd take a closer look at your reactions or feelings/thoughts towards this person and ask yourself why these things might be necessary. Why does it feel better to pull back?

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Ignoring someone who is already attracted to you, albeit not as much as you would like, yes it can increase their attraction for you. They wonder all of a sudden where you went, if you found someone else etc. However, it doesn't necessarily mean they will start a chase.

 

It really depends on if they actually have someone else and whether you pop in intermittently sometimes. If a guy ignored me for a very long time & didn't get in touch I would start to forget him eventually.

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Most dont like the games.

If someone ignores/ avoids me.. I will move on. since i see the point being they are not interested..

I wont chase or beg for anyone;s attention. If they are interested I would expect their attention,

 

If you are trying to have a chase - may be possible for a male- who may try, for a short while.

 

If you are testing someone who has pushed you away... shows their uncertainty. Dont go back

they did it once.. high chance it will happen again = more pain.

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if you are stuck thinking about that person, old memories your heart will start creating an illusion for you and at some point you start believing that in other terms we call that unproductive waste of time.

You basically are not over that person...

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Some couples are equally clouded or heated in the moment or both individuals benefit from a cooling off period to let the dust settle and realize what they've lost or work on themselves. I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

 

Intentionally and manipulatively giving someone the cold shoulder to trick that person into liking you more is wrong. I hope you know that. Any form of manipulation is wrong if the intention is to degrade or disrespect someone by playing those games.

 

Yes, as a couple if you are really upset and need cooling off time or even to be separated for a short time, it can help a lot to realize that what you've got is too important to lose.

 

However, to ignore someone as a tactic to get them back or get them to like you, usually works the opposite and the woman will move on and won't look back.

 

But if you are an ex and are wondering if your ex still thinks of you or if she will one day realize what she lost, etc...I hate to say this, but it's a small chance of ever happening.

When people break up, they usually have fairly strong reasons for doing so, and those reasons normally override any thoughts of missing that person so much that they would consider going back.

If someone has broken up with someone else, they must have been pushed pretty far to do that and being separated usually doesn't bring back any kind of loving feelings.

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As bad as it is, does intentionally ignoring someone or ghosting actually make them miss you/attract them?

 

It seems like a weird thing to do and not something I would necessarily do intentionally however I'd love to hear what the ladies think about as i'm sure we have all somewhat been in a situation like this before either being ignored or vice versa.

 

I think this tactic is obvious and stupid. I feel bad for guys who do it, and repulsed by them at the same time. Definitely not effective in my book.

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When someone already doesn't care about you, how is ignoring them going to change that? It makes no sense whatsoever.

 

Think about this logically. You don't like someone, they aren't talking to you. Good.....or more correctly you won't even notice precisely because you don't care about that person or what they do.

 

For someone to miss you, they have to like you and care about you, but if you play ghosting games with someone who cares about you, their feelings won't grow stronger, they'll get hurt by your behavior and walk away from you. Only a very unhealthy person with major personal issues will chase after you so you can hurt them some more. Normal people avoid pain and step away from jerks acting like jerks.

 

As the old saying goes, OP, you attract more bees with honey.

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If anyone intentionally ghosts and ignores me, I'll permanently look upon them with great disdain.

 

If it's a mind game or head trip, I'm out. I don't play. :upset:

 

If a person wishes to end the relationship or friendship, a respectful, brief message would be considerate and common courtesy. Ghosting and ignoring is passive aggressive behavior which is unkind. I don't know of anyone who appreciates unkind, disrespectful and rude behavior.

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absence makes the heart grow fonder if its a mutual situation and one is called away to go help an ailing parent in another state, it does not make the heart grow fonder if someone doesn't want to be with you or is not giving you the attention you want and you decide to play the ghosting game

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Game playing doesn't work. It leaves people hurt and upset. Would you feel good about yourself if you knew your actions left someone in tears? How can you do that to someone you claim to care about? How would you feel if they did that to you? And eventually, those tears turn to anger and the person will realize they are better without you.

 

Besides, if you like someone, wouldn't you want to spend more time with them, not less?

 

A key to any relationship is communication. It can be good to have time apart, but you should always keep that communication open. If you have to be aware for a long period of time, find time to talk each day. Your relationship will be better for it.

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Past behavior is the best sign for future behaviors

Never let someone back in life who does all these negative things to you.

You basically don't love yourself much to think about getting back with someone who cuts you off like this.

There could be many reasons why they do it but we shouldn't waste our time thinking about it.

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If someone found ghosting or ignoring attractive I'd wonder what's wrong with them.

 

To add to this... would also wonder what was wrong with a person that felt that using ghosting/ignoring was an appropriate way of attracting someone.

 

Personally, I ain't got time for that nonsense.... if someone ghosts or ignores me that's the last they will ever hear from me.... and if you want to date a woman with self-esteem and confidence, that's the way it should be.

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