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How to approach getting back together with ex?


RandoAnom

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About a month has past since me and my ex broke up. We dated for almost 2 years before we split. I still want to be with her and want to make things work. However, currently I am blocked on every social media and can only call or text. The last month we have had no contact. But today, we were able to have a nice conversation about what we were up to and how we have been etc. Were both at rock bottom for ourselves, and things are great for either of us. The conversation went well and she left. A few hours have passed and she is back home, do I text or call her about meeting again? Or should I wait until she texts me, or just wait until a few days passes or so? I don't want to move to fast and come on to strong to ruin anything between us.

 

Thanks

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I mentioned staying in touch more and possibly doing things together. She didn't object to anything, but didn't overtly say yes. Should I try to make plans or stay calm for now?

 

You just met today? I think leave it for a couple of days and then ask her how she's doing again and ask her how the last meet up went for her, what did she feel about seeing each other for the first time in awhile. This means you're checking in with her and being considerate of what she thinks and feels. Thoughts change over a period of a few days as people regain clarity or process things. This also gives her a chance to voice her own opinions on things if she's a bit on the passive side or not used to talking about herself or nervous overall.

 

Let the conversation flow naturally. If there are gaps in the conversation or she's taking longer than usual to respond, be patient. Ie. give people at least a day to respond. If she doesn't respond at all, don't push it. That means you now need time to process that she's changed her mind. Learn to take a hint and take deep breaths. If she starts responding more to you, that's a good sign.

 

See how it goes.

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No. Leave her alone now.

You will show yourself ad desperate.

 

For whatever reasons you two broke up- I doubt anything has changed.. No improvements?

 

Your choice to keep dealing with her.. but you two ended things for reason- was not working out.

Respect her.. leave her be.. and if she reaches out, your choice to respond.

do not seem desperate though.. in the end, you may really end up more hurt.. letting this drag on,

As YOU are the one wanting it again.. and should you not get what you want.. your acceptance & healing will not have begun at all.

 

Tread cautiously.

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Ok now don't contact her unless she contacts you so you are sure she is interested in talking. Keep in mind you may get friendzoned if she is trying to 'let you down easy'.

I mentioned staying in touch more and possibly doing things together. She didn't object to anything, but didn't overtly say yes.
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Yes I agree that going slowly seems like the best option logically. But emotionally speaking, I don't want to make it seem like it meant nothing talking to her. Tomorrow will be a couple of days since we talked and I'm thinking of messaging her then. I'm just wondering how I should go about texting her. Maybe ask to talk again or suggest doing something? A lot of comments say to take it slow and don't take it too fast so I'm curious if this is a good idea or not. Thanks for all of the replies to everyone else.

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based upon what you said.. Leave her alone. She knows you want her, she knows how to get a hold of you, if she wants you she knows she has you. But she hasn't said or mentioned about getting back. So leave her be.

Here is what is going on now. You two are not together. You cant 'win' her back. You cant change the past, you cant make up for what was done. Based on her actions Im guessing you did something to hurt her that's why its you wanting to make amends right? You want to show her you have 'changed'. Trying to read between the lines, Im guessing its something like that. But then again, I could be way off.

So here is the deal... Im going to make it simple. Back off, let her be the one who has to come to you. I know its hard, but if she wants to be with you, she alone has to be the one to make that decision. You cant call or text her and talking about the good times. You cant suggest, reason, bargain, beg, plead, convince her to be with you. If you do, then she could resent what you did and the cycle could start again.

AND.. you must understand that her wanting to spend time with you is not about getting back with you but a way for her to emotionally detach from you. She could be using it to relieve her pain her pain. If she knows that you are going to be okay, then she can feel good about letting you go.

So leave her alone. Let her sort things out without you. She has blocked you so that is a sign that she doesn't want to be romantic with you so just let her be. She will eventually show her hand and her actions will tell you what she wants.

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Yes I agree that going slowly seems like the best option logically. But emotionally speaking, I don't want to make it seem like it meant nothing talking to her. Tomorrow will be a couple of days since we talked and I'm thinking of messaging her then. I'm just wondering how I should go about texting her. Maybe ask to talk again or suggest doing something? A lot of comments say to take it slow and don't take it too fast so I'm curious if this is a good idea or not.

 

- I suggest you NOT keep at her.

You BOTH need some time apart.. If you keep at her.. after you two have broken up- she is not gonna want to keep having to explain herself.

No longer together.. she owes you Nothing.

 

If anything.. sometimes the dumper feels some 'guilt' so they will tag along for a bit.. to help you along.

 

Best thing is to keep your distance.. respectfully.

 

If she does not want much to do with you anymore.. do not agree to a ;friendship'.. Not unless or until you know youare over her.

We often can;t do this... since we are still emotionally invested in them :/

 

Most often I am not 'friends' with my ex's.

 

Only if we had kids.. do I know I have to deal with them.. and only in ref to the kids.

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