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My dad's clutter is driving me crazy

cinadan

By cinadan
in Parenting and Families

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LaHermes Grand Master

LaHermes

Posted
Posted

Now we are getting to the heart of the matter, OP.

 

"To be honest, it's not just the clutter that ticks me off, it's a lot of things. The constant haphazard trial and error way of doing things, and "saying thing just to be heard" (he once insisted I fold tissues a certain way after blowing my nose, for instance), or even trying to impose his rules in my house, are the big ones."

 

So, the simple question is: What are you going to do?

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abitbroken Grand Master

abitbroken

Posted
Posted

it sounds like he is not the type of hoarder where you have to worry about filth. It sounds like he is indecisive about keeping things and relied on mom to steer him. He doesn't have that, and you should not take on a parenting role. I do think you should not let dad pay towards your mortgage. If he wants to pay a bill to be in charge of -- cable if he wanted more channels than you had, etc, or some other utility, that would make him feel in charge of something and not paying his kid per se. I do think that if you had a larger place with a separate wing or inlaw apartment that would be one thing, but he is overstepping boundaries and rubbing you the wrong way. If he insists to give you money instead of paying a bill and he contributes in other ways, i would use half of what he gives you towards the mortgage and save half of it in an account in case he needs it (he needs things healthwise or for a deposit for a condo or something down the road). If he never needs it, fine, but that way you don't have to "budget for dad" down the road.

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