Pre-date phone call - Advice please

[Wiseman2 3,158]

Yes 22% of the time 44% will get stood up if you fart on the phone or text with 66% too many acronyms.

 

7 out of 9 will not date you if you use a spittoon.9 out of 10 will not date you if you sound like a 5 pack a day smoker.

 

33% will want to get off the phone after 23.47 min. 27% will end the call if you slur your speech. 56% will ask you to come over for booty call if you slur your speech

 

So overall it's a crap shoot whether the call goes well.

Was there a correlation between phone calls first and being stood up or not?

[FirstDates 11]

Yes 22% of the time 44% will get stood up if you fart on the phone or text with 66% too many acronyms.

 

7 out of 9 will not date you if you use a spittoon.9 out of 10 will not date you if you sound like a 5 pack a day smoker.

 

33% will want to get off the phone after 23.47 min. 27% will end the call if you slur your speech. 56% will ask you to come over for booty call if you slur your speech

 

So overall it's a crap shoot whether the call goes well.

Bahaha, And 9 of it 10 dentists agree that this is 100% funny.

[limichelle 307]

I understand your concern because you do have to meet in person to really get a sense of somebody. I’ve had great conversations beforehand then when we met up it was awful and awkward!

 

I think though because of the pandemic you do have to be careful. It’s come down too if the person is worth dating and risking your health. So meeting in person right now isn’t that viable.

 

You take a gamble really if you talk or meet. You could luck out and have a great conversation, if not, you just hang up. It’s easier to hang up then walk out on a meeting face to face. The guy could follow you etc...

 

Where as with phone: Hang up, block and delete. Just think of it that way for now.

[reinventmyself 1,085]

I once had a phone convo with a man who was also having a separate conversation much of our 20 minute conversation - with his hamster. Baby talk, etc. I declined to meet him. A few years later I was dating someone who told me one of his female friends had just started dating a guy who was basically obsessed with his hamster. yup. same guy. I think they're still happily married. Cover for every pot I guess....

OMG. I'm laughing.

 

I vote for the pre meet phone call.

 

I've had every experience. Funny, articulate and engaging to intoxicated, mysogistic and not so bright.

 

In my experience, people tend to be more transparent when there's still that level of anonymity on the phone. They lead either personally rather then their actual presense or looks.

[Batya33 2,279]

OMG. I'm laughing.

 

I vote for the pre meet phone call.

 

I've had every experience. Funny, articulate and engaging to intoxicated, mysogistic and not so bright.

 

In my experience, people tend to be more transparent when there's still that level of anonymity on the phone. They lead either personally rather then their actual presense or looks.

 

Another favorite. Years ago. Guy gave me his cell number. I always asked for their number so I could block my landine (I had no cell) - I dialed and said hello and explained who I was:

 

Him: WHO GAVE YOU THIS NUMBER?????

Me: You did.

 

(I believe the story was -as the phone call, not his profile, revealed, that he was married in a green card arrangement).

[Lambert 816]

haha... Batya these are classic. A good date is great, a bad one is a great story.

 

As far as calls and dates being a waste of time. I think that is a sign that maybe you need a break from dating. if you're not motivated to chat or meet and want guarantees of time worthiness, on line dating is not the way to go.

 

Meeting on line, you have to be open, invest time, know it probably won't work out, most of the time and have a thick skin.

 

If you're looking for reasons to not call, not meet, you will definitely find one.

 

Every person in the world has weird quirks, habits and views, that when taken out of context, as not part of knowing the person personally, is going to be a little iffy.

 

But a quick phone chat can save time- getting ready, going to the place, going through the coffee line etc takes way more time.

 

A good couple messages leads to wanting to talk, a nice chat leads to wanting to meet....

[Batya33 2,279]

I met over 100 men in person-the vast majority we exchanged one or two emails, had one or two phone conversations -first about 20 minutes or so the second to confirm the first meet if needed. Then we met.

[FirstDates 11]

haha... Batya these are classic. A good date is great, a bad one is a great story.

 

As far as calls and dates being a waste of time. I think that is a sign that maybe you need a break from dating. if you're not motivated to chat or meet and want guarantees of time worthiness, on line dating is not the way to go.

 

Meeting on line, you have to be open, invest time, know it probably won't work out, most of the time and have a thick skin.

 

If you're looking for reasons to not call, not meet, you will definitely find one.

 

Every person in the world has weird quirks, habits and views, that when taken out of context, as not part of knowing the person personally, is going to be a little iffy.

 

But a quick phone chat can save time- getting ready, going to the place, going through the coffee line etc takes way more time.

 

A good couple messages leads to wanting to talk, a nice chat leads to wanting to meet....

 

I never mentioned not wanting to meet in person, the opposite! I just don’t want an awkward phone call to spoil a good thing— assuming both parties are better in person.

[reinventmyself 1,085]

I think the phone calls almost always start off awkward

You are two strangers basically cold calling each other.

For the most part we started off bumbling around about, but if there was any common interests and chemistry, it came through on a phone call. Sometimes the calls lasted for an hour. The awkwardness turned into this easy flow.

And then there were the ones that didn't go so well. Depending on the reason I likely chose not to meet them after all.

[DancingFool 1,791]

I never mentioned not wanting to meet in person, the opposite! I just don’t want an awkward phone call to spoil a good thing— assuming both parties are better in person.

 

Don't put so much pressure on that. If you feel nervous, just be honest with him and tell him that you are really better in person than on the phone initially. Since he is the one who wants to talk, let him lead the conversation. Don't look at it as make it or break it because unless some massive red flags jump out to you, then it's just a call and some awkwardness is normal and to be expected. On that note, do listen to things he says.

 

I've had guys who insist on a phone call reveal some huge red flags. Likewise I prefer to chat less and just meet, but boy was I glad we talked first. One guy gave me a graphic description on what he was doing with his ex in bed and why I might see him limping a bit when I meet him. Let's just say after that earful I declined the meet. Other times, the conversation on the phone was great, we got on like on fire, but in person zero chemistry and the date fizzled out fast. Still other times, phone convo might have been short and stilted, but in person we got on well and ended up dating.

 

Like I said before, try not to put yourself into this negative mindset that it will be bad, awkward, like it's some test or whatever. It's nothing more than two people chatting briefly. Try to keep your expectations at bay and come into every date on as much of a neutral blank slate as you can. It will actually help you a lot to gauge more accurately if he is good for you or not.

[Wiseman2 3,158]

Ok so let's break it down. 🧀 What if he smells like Limburger cheese when you meet him in person? Then what? Do you call afterward and tell him? Ghost him? Or go on a second date hoping he smells like cake next time?🍰

I just don’t want an awkward phone call to spoil a good thing— assuming both parties are better in person.

[Lambert 816]

I never mentioned not wanting to meet in person, the opposite! I just don’t want an awkward phone call to spoil a good thing— assuming both parties are better in person.

 

 

I was speaking to your comment below... you say you don't see a time savings & your time is wasted either way.

 

Haha, only because I really don’t like French accents!

 

I just don’t really see it as time saving I guess. My time is wasted on person or via phone.

[FirstDates 11]

It was actually really good guys. Awkward moments sure but generally not awkward and we had a lot in common. And he didn’t fart or use a spittoon or have a French accent. Yay!

 

Shockingly, I said I’d like to have another phone call soon. So maybe I’m more sold on it now!

[Lambert 816]

It was actually really good guys. Awkward moments sure but generally not awkward and we had a lot in common. And he didn’t fart or use a spittoon or have a French accent. Yay!

 

Shockingly, I said I’d like to have another phone call soon. So maybe I’m more sold on it now!

Yay! good for you!

[Batya33 2,279]

It was actually really good guys. Awkward moments sure but generally not awkward and we had a lot in common. And he didn’t fart or use a spittoon or have a French accent. Yay!

 

Shockingly, I said I’d like to have another phone call soon. So maybe I’m more sold on it now!

 

Good! I hope you meet in person soon.

[Betterwithout 53]

Good to hear all went well. Most of what we worry about never even happens. Keep us posted on the in-person date. That is where the rubber meets the road :)