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My ex(17F) and I(18M) broke up in March. I spent some time trying to get her back and she started ignoring me, I went no contact and reached out and she ignored my first attempt to re-establish contact, so I waited for about two weeks, and reached out and offered to be friends because I felt like that is the only way to get communications back. she replied and said: “I don’t hate you Jordan and I would love to be friendly but I just want to be completely honest with you and let you know that that’s all we can be. I don’t want to be in a relationship right now or really anything too serious before I leave for college” is there any way I can win her back and get her to be reattracted to me and get out of the friendzone. How should I talk to her to reattract her slowly so that I don't make her put her guard up? We had a really good relationship before, but now she wants to move forward without me being her boyfriend but I can talk to her now so how do I go about getting her back.

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Please respect what she has told you. She does not want to reestablish a relationship with you. You also cannot be friends if you have feelings. I suggest you go complete NC and move on with your life. Sorry.

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Girls often say exactly what they mean. This bit is going to sting a little but what she means is “ I don’t want to be in a relationship” and when a woman says this generally, it’s the sugar coated version of “ I don’t want to be in a relationship with you”

 

Sorry, I know that’s not what you are wanting to hear! Move on and find someone who does want a relationship & especially wants it with you.

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In anything I think you need to respect what the person is saying to you. She broke up with you and she is telling you she doesn't want to be in a relationship with you. You can't "win someone back" because it has to be them that wants to get back together. Pushing doesn't make you look good and most likely would have the opposite effect. Of course it hurts to lose your girlfriend and it'll hurt for some time. But if you stop contacting her you'll move on eventually, I promise. You just need time to get over her. Don't contact her and don't chase her. Don't wait for her. She said she doesn't want to be in a relationship.

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How should I talk to her to reattract her slowly so that I don't make her put her guard up?

 

by respecting her decision, staying away, focusing on yourself, your growth, becoming a better version of what you are now.

 

There is no other way to go about this, i know it will not make sense now but in future things will be different.

 

Be patient with yourself and take good care of your well being, stay positive.

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Once she realises you lied to her about only wanting to be friends with her , she will block you.

 

It’s up to you when that happens. And it will happen.

 

She does not want a relationship with you. She is ok with being friends because of that. And your apparent only wanting to be friends.

 

Do yourself a favour. Respect the fact that she rejected you. Don’t take it so personally.

She doesn’t want to be your friend , she is just trying to appease. And in time hope you disappear. And you will. Once you realise rejection is nothing personal , you slowly let her fade away and become interested in another.

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Sorry to hear that. She's too young and going off to college, so she was honest with you.

 

The get your ex back material that you were reading about "reattracting", etc is largely nonsense as you unfortunately found out.

 

Give her space. Enjoy your freedom and enjoy meeting other girls.

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It's common for romances to be brief when you're young, since really, you're still growing as a person and still getting to know yourself, so how would you choose a lifetime partner in that state? Most people want to have a lot of life experiences before finally settling down, and what a person wants when they are in their late teens can do a complete 360 degrees by the time they hit their late 20s.

 

If you have to win someone over or win someone back, she is not the right person for you. The right person will make it crystal clear they want to be with you, and will remain in your life, just because you are wonderful you.

 

Keep good memories of your romance with her, but since you wish to reconcile, don't stay friends because it will delay your closure and be more hurtful later when she has less and less time for you in her new college life.

 

She's off on her new adventures, so it's time to carve out your own new adventures.

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Thank you for reaching out. Sounds like your heart is broken, sorry you are going through that. But she gave you the truth which it tough for her to deliver and for you to receive, so it's clearly time to move on.

Honestly speaking, serious relationships at age 17 and 18 with college and career paths being carved out seldom work out anyways, especially in 2020.

 

Also, most people your age enjoy their freedoms and more casual dating for many years anyway. Most people only are willing and ready to "settled down" in their late 20's and beyond.

 

Enjoy your life, play the field! You've got many innings before you need to hit the home run.

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I can tell you right now, you will not like the answers you get. The short version is. She told you that she has no interest in you, she is going to date others, you have to accept that.

But you are thinking of a way to have her see you in the same light as she did before. If you try you will fail. I will tell you why. 1. She has made up her mind. She has already moved on from you and does not like you in a way to want to kiss you. 2. She has someone else in mind. You are out of the picture. 3. She has already accepted to have you as a friend which means that she has already moved on and disconnected from you. 4. If you try to get her back or make her see you as a boyfriend, you will only end up reinforcing her decision to not like you. 5. If you try anything she will distance herself from you more and more.

 

Its over..

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