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Has anyone put extreme anxiety behind them?


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I've always had some anxiety, but it's gotten extremely bad this year. I have a psychiatrist appointment in a couple of weeks, but meanwhile I'm feeling this desperate loneliness and worry. I know it's partly situational- working at home, not being able to go out much, and having a lot of time with my thoughts. I'm thinking such scary things though, I'm questioning if I'm ever going to work a job that doesn't drain my soul, I'm wondering if I can be happy in my marriage for a lifetime, and I'm wondering if maybe life is a lot more boring and meaningless than I realized before. I don't know if talking to someone would even help me- I tried multiple times when I was younger and it clearly didn't help. I try to tell myself it's just my attitude, or that maybe I can get back on medication, but I really feel like there's something wrong with me that medication won't fix.

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Going off the medication was a huge mistake. You'll have to wait a couple of weeks until you see your doctor. Google: "antidepressant discontinuation syndrome". Your mindset is off right now, but you realize that.

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I did it because my family doctor recommended it. I look back and wish I hadn't done it, but I trusted her that it's not good to have that drug in my system if I were to become pregnant, which I was. My husband is a physician as well and I guess I trusted the idea. I thought I'm a different person now at 31 than I was at 18, that I have good social support and a happier life, and I weaned slowly hoping I could give it a try. This was all pre pandemic though. I think being off my medication is contributing but I also really think there's something else off with me. I wasn't doing perfectly well before when I was taking medication either, I still had some bad anxiety flares. It's just worse now, and I'm worried this is just the way I am, with or without taking anything. I just wish I could talk someone's head off about all my worries sometimes, but even that might not be helpful. It helped to post here when I was 19 or so, but it feels like online and in real life, I don't feel it's as easy anymore to ask for help. I've never been so confused before.

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Did the medication work before?

 

I am dealing with extreme anxiety and some depression. I am taking medication and also attending virtual talk therapy with a psychologist and just started seeing a psychiatrist who can prescribe medication. My anxiety is getting better. I still am anxious but it's more manageable. I no longer have that edge of the seat constant fight or flight adrenaline feeling.

 

I think seeing the psychiatrist and perhaps getting back on meds is a great idea.

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I did it because my family doctor recommended it. I look back and wish I hadn't done it, but I trusted her that it's not good to have that drug in my system if I were to become pregnant, which I was. My husband is a physician as well and I guess I trusted the idea. I thought I'm a different person now at 31 than I was at 18, that I have good social support and a happier life, and I weaned slowly hoping I could give it a try. This was all pre pandemic though. I think being off my medication is contributing but I also really think there's something else off with me. I wasn't doing perfectly well before when I was taking medication either, I still had some bad anxiety flares. It's just worse now, and I'm worried this is just the way I am, with or without taking anything. I just wish I could talk someone's head off about all my worries sometimes, but even that might not be helpful. It helped to post here when I was 19 or so, but it feels like online and in real life, I don't feel it's as easy anymore to ask for help. I've never been so confused before.

Some people are just predisposed to run on the anxious side. I agree, the state of the current world situations doesn't help. There is no shame managing your anxiety with anitdepressants. If I understood correctly, you stopped while you were pregnant.

 

Give some thought to speaking with your doctor, a therapist and going back on antidepressants. There is no reason you should suffer if you don't have to.

 

I have an anxiety disorder. I did all the above that I recommended and I was just hoping at some point it would go away. At some point my therapist told me that it will likely `be the monkey on my back for my life time' I wasn't happy to hear that, but at the same time it gave me permission to stop trying to fight it. Ultimately there is some relief when you embrace it as part of you and reach out and ask for help.

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OP.

 

"I just wish I could talk someone's head off about all my worries sometimes, but even that might not be helpful."

 

IMO it would certainly be very helpful to see a therapist. Yet on another thread you remarked that you could not afford to see a therapist. Sure, if your husband is a physician you have sufficient income to afford a therapist's fees. Well worth the money considering your current plight.

 

You also mentioned elsewhere that

 

"My husband has mental health issues too I believe, "

 

All in all, OP, you need to address the situation with every practical means you have.

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There is no shame managing your anxiety with anitdepressants. If I understood correctly, you stopped while you were pregnant.

 

 

There's definitely no shame, that's not why I stopped the medication though. I stopped because I didn't want SSRIs in my system should I become pregnant, there isn't enough known about how it can affect unborn babies and my doctor suggested I try managing my anxiety with other means.

 

I saw a doctor when I was nineteen and figuring out what medication might help me, and I was talking to someone weekly at that time too. That doctor had told me something similar- that this might be something I deal with my whole life. I've accepted it, and I've managed eleven years since then. It's scary now though, being married and at that stage where I was thinking of children. I'm struggling about the permanency of these things, and I don't know if it's anxiety heightened by not being medicated or why these intrusive ideas are in my mind lately.

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OP.

 

"I just wish I could talk someone's head off about all my worries sometimes, but even that might not be helpful."

 

IMO it would certainly be very helpful to see a therapist. Yet on another thread you remarked that you could not afford to see a therapist. Sure, if your husband is a physician you have sufficient income to afford a therapist's fees. Well worth the money considering your current plight.

 

You also mentioned elsewhere that

 

"My husband has mental health issues too I believe, "

 

All in all, OP, you need to address the situation with every practical means you have.

 

My husband is a physician yes, but it doesn't tell the whole story. We're not in a good financial situation at the moment. I'm wondering if I'll be able to talk to my psychiatrist or do they just prescribe medication and not talk much with you? Either way, I'll figure out a way to talk to someone. And my husband does have anxiety too and OCD, but doesn't want help. I can't make him. He's definitely functioning better than I am however, and pre pandemic it didn't really affect him the way I'm being affected. I feel like at the very least right now I need to help myself. I've just been pinning all my hopes on this one stupid appointment though. I don't really know if I'll be okay.

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It's a place to start. No a pill is not a magic bullet.

 

However antidepressants are sort of like blasting the basic shape into Mt Rushmore. Talk (supportive therapy) is also necessary to fine tune, reshape and reorganize thoughts that have gone neurochemically awry in clinical depression.

 

Be patient. Covid is kicking ass everywhere and with every aspect in jobs, finances, relationships, etc. One step at a time. Just like physical therapy after an illness or injury. nothing is overnight, but it will get better with proper care.

I've just been pinning all my hopes on this one stupid appointment though. I don't really know if I'll be okay.
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Anxiety is absolutely manageable. Especially when it’s circumstantial. Your therapist will show you how to focus on changing things you can control and how to let go of the things you can not. You may never be completely rid of anxiety, but you can make life more enjoyable and fulfilling. For me, a lot of self care and spiritual awareness helped me tremendously. I don’t think I will ever stop working on myself. For the rest of my life, I will work on myself and becoming a better person. That is what really helped me manage my anxiety.

 

Good luck to you!

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OP. There is this:

 

https://adaa.org/finding-help

 

You may find some support there. And surely there are helplines available? (Depending on the country where you are living).

 

I can see how this would produce anxiety:

 

"And he threatens divorce/suggests it and then says he doesn't mean it after."

 

The domestic situation seems rather unsettling OP. Having the spouse threaten divorce is like walking on quicksand. You need a peaceable environment if you are to address your anxiety.

Edited by LaHermes
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It's not for everyone, however, ever since I began my serious exercise and diet regimen, my anxiety is no more. I can handle life better, think more clearly, have more control back into my life, feel more secure within my own skin, look and feel great. I've since lost 35 pounds. I also began to immerse myself in activities which I enjoy such as numerous hobbies, surround myself with very kind, moral, upstanding people and lately, I enjoy great movies and books.

 

Most of all, I don't tolerate other people's "bleep" anymore. It's beneath me. I let other people knock themselves out with their "bleep." I'd rather exercise or take a nap instead! :D

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