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He's gone silent on me, did I came out too strong ? I think I ruined it


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Hey beautiful , how are you doing?

 

Ugh...he's throwing out weak bait to see if you'll bite.

 

At least he could have said he'd like to see you and suggest something.

 

I do wonder how many women he sent that lame message to.

 

And yeah, he "wants more"...as in, more of you going over to his place.

 

I'd take a hard pass. Otherwise you are teaching him he can vanish and then just pop back into your life and you'll leap at the tiniest bit of attention. You're worth more than that.

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If he did he would suggest a date not send lame bait out after ghosting.

 

This.

 

Per some of the the earlier posts here, I'll be very frank and a bit assumptive and say that I'd imagine what became "clear" to him is that you're a bit skittish about all this, not so surefooted when it comes to men. He's testing that vulnerability a bit right now, seeing if he can bend it to his interests, not showing you that he's a single guy who loves the idea of a museum stroll.

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UPDATE

 

He contacted me after 5 days of no silence..i thought he was gone. how to proceed . does this mean he wants more?

 

What was the conversation about? Anything less than asking for a date in public appears to be his way of upping the ante, hoping you'll bite, (imo).

 

In any event, where do you see this going?

Edited by HeartGoesOn
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Honestly, I'm confused where his head at and where he wants this go because i made it clear that i will not be meeting unless in public and if he isn't willing to meet in public, it's a big NO NO to me. He never responded so i thought that was it and i won't be hearing for him. Then 5 days later he messaged as if nothing happened and asked me how i'm doing. so i'm little confused on what he's thinking and if he willing to actually hang out in public because I'm not going over to his house anytime soon

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Honestly, I'm confused where his head at and where he wants this go because i made it clear that i will not be meeting unless in public and if he isn't willing to meet in public, it's a big NO NO to me. He never responded so i thought that was it and i won't be hearing for him. Then 5 days later he messaged as if nothing happened and asked me how i'm doing. so i'm little confused on what he's thinking and if he willing to actually hang out in public because I'm not going over to his house anytime soon

 

Why do you want to continue to see this man when HE already made it clear he wants "dates" at his home?

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Why do you want to continue to see this man when HE already made it clear he wants "dates" at his home?

 

Wel, I was also curious why he would contact me when made it clear that i'm not willing to go to his house. I will not continue if he isn't willing. i thought he had change of heart

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Wel, I was also curious why he would contact me when made it clear that i'm not willing to go to his house. I will not continue if he isn't willing. i thought he had change of heart

 

Because he's checking to see how much you are willing to bend in order to keep him.

 

It's a test. Does she want me badly enough to give in?

 

And what made you think he had a "change of heart"? In his message did he mention a date? Or did he say he understood and he wants to make sure you're comfortable?

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Wel, I was also curious why he would contact me when made it clear that i'm not willing to go to his house. I will not continue if he isn't willing. i thought he had change of heart

 

Sounds like he thinks you might have a change of heart.

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Sounds like he thinks you might have a change of heart.

 

Well put.

 

Per some of my earlier posts, I suspect his read on everything you "made clear"—the "100 percent single" stuff, coming as it did after he went dark on the whole walk idea—is that you're clearly pretty vulnerable when it comes to men, to dating. Not saying that's your personal truth, but just how I think he interpreted all that. If I ignored a woman's suggestion about a date and she responded with a checklist of her dating needs, it's what I'd see.

 

So, with "hey beautiful" he's kind of testing just how vulnerable you might be. Can he ghost on the walk idea, ignore the preemptive boundary stuff, vanish for a stretch, then toss a crumb your way without acknowledging the buffet you tossed his and still keep you interested?

 

Verdict is still out, it seems.

 

Don't you just want a dude who goes, "A walk! Sounds like a blast! How's Thursday?" That's not asking for the moon. And if that sounds like a solid place to start off? Well, you already know this is not that place.

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So guys you were right, Part of me still had hope that it would work out and he would be interested in going on date so I responded to his text and said "I'm alright, how about you"? just to see what he says next since i left the ball in his court. He never responded and haven't heard from him since. So now i'm perplexed why he reach out at all. I blocked his number because I don't have time for time wasters

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So guys you were right, Part of me still had hope that it would work out and he would be interested in going on date so I responded to his text and said "I'm alright, how about you"? just to see what he says next since i left the ball in his court. He never responded and haven't heard from him since. So now i'm perplexed why he reach out at all. I blocked his number because I don't have time for time wasters

 

He probably wanted a booty call for that night and you didn't leap on his message fast enough. So he either had sent that message to other women and one of them responded or he had a date with his hand.

 

Good decision to block him. He doesn't want what you want.

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