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Is he actually not ready to commit or is it another case of not being enough?


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I have been seeing the same guy for about 6 months now. About 2 months in I learned that he recently ended a 5 year long term relationship 3 months before we met and he didn’t want anything serious right now. We started out as simply friends, but had already moved past the friend zone before knowing this. I considered ending what we had at that time, but something intuitively told me otherwise. I thoroughly enjoy spending time with this person and we both are in our early/mid 20s still going through school and figuring out life. To me, it was worth spending time and enjoying each other’s company regardless of the outcome because our careers could potentially take us elsewhere. However, it’s now been 6 months of our “situationship” and my feelings and connection for this person is extremely strong. He has noticed these things and has become to “feel guilty” because when he’s alone at home, “he thinks that he’s playing with my emotions” but he doesn’t realize any of this in the moment. He spends all of his time with me, and the way he acts and treats me makes me believe he does have feelings for me too regardless of him denying them. I have no concerns that he’s currently seeing anyone else but he does express that he sometimes wants to explore. I’ve given him opportunities to do that because I do feel that after being in such a long term relationship he may want to see what else is out there. But he had never acted on seeing anyone else and I feel like he should’ve done that when we first started talking. We are honestly best friends at this point and I’ve talked about letting him go so he can go explore, but he refuses because he says he doesn’t want to lose me. I am so torn because I eventually want something serious with him but I don’t know if he needs more time or if I am truly not enough, just enough for the moment for him. Any advice is greatly appreciated.

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