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still trying to find a girlfriend @ 50?


jsWAY

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It's so embarrassing to have a 100% failure rate in romance at 50. I'm the guy who everybody loves, but "not in that way." Except for dozens of one-night-stands, I have lived a life without sex or intimacy. Especially difficult, as my folks celebrate 50th wedding anniversary, to acknowledge 50 years without a relationship.

I yearn for anything, but try not to seem needy. Women can somehow sense this and, while being kind, offer no clues for me to alleviate my predicament.

Now I am confused about whether to prepare myself (I don't wanna be bitter) for the likelihood of never finding love or intimacy; or to keep barrelling forward at 50, inexperienced, hopeful, and still full of unfulfilled sexual angst.

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When you look around you at couples, most of the time you see a similar level of attractiveness. Make sure you're realistic and approaching women who match you in attractiveness levels. That's just a hard reality in life.

 

Can you ask friends and their girlfriends or wives their honest opinions of changes you could make for improvement? Perhaps a grooming and wardrobe makeover?

 

If you find a hobby you can be passionate about, your enthusiasm will shine through, and that passion is something people are drawn to. Get out more in the world, so that you're meeting more people. I suggest group dance lessons. Look to see what's available in your area: East Coast Swing, Tango, Salsa, Ballroom.

 

Join a book discussion group. Take cooking or painting lessons. Volunteer at a zoo or museum.

 

Don't ask a woman out right away. Gradually get to know her and make sure the signals are there that she'd say yes if you asked her out.

 

Being confident is the best attractor. Turnoffs are "yes men," people pleasing to the extreme, acting like the chair is too good for you to sit on, having a spine like a noodle, clingy and needy. Guys who don't have their own fulfilling life besides having a gf. (Don't drop everything once you do get a gf. Keep up with your friends and hobbies so she can miss you.)

 

Good luck and let us know how it goes.

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Why and with who did you have dozens of one night stands?

 

Why don’t you get to know someone before sleeping with them?

Let them get to know you too?

 

If you focused more on your long term goal and not the short one , you might have had less one night stands and more relationships?

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  • 1 month later...

It doesn't matter how long it takes, once you finally find that love it will be worth it. Some find it sooner, some find it much later, but the end result is the same. Don't give up hope, you never know when it will happen.

 

I also agree with focusing on the long term goal. Don't settle for one night stands, even if you are wanting some connection so badly that it sounds like a good idea. Focus on doing what you enjoy and you'll like meet someone who is doing the same thing. You can springboard that natural friendship into something more. But don't become so focused on having the relationship that it becomes your only goal. That can lead to it being an obsession that just makes you more depressed if it doesn't happen. It's fine to dream, but focus on yourself first. Love comes in its own time.

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