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My girlfriend and I have been in a serious relationship for about 4 years. I’m 26 and she’s 34. We both make a good income and feel like we are ready to get married and start a family.

My family and friends have been driving me insane trying to convince me that the age gap is too much. Saying that i wont see it now but down the road when we are 45/53 or 60/68 it will be harder on me. Am i not seeing something? Has anyone been in an age gap relationship and still make it till their 60’s together?

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There is 13 years between my husband and me. I'm 36 and he is 49. Been together 11 and a half years and still going strong. Had a baby this year and been married for five.

Do what you want to do and not your friends and family. If they cared for your happiness they would respect your relationship.

If you break up just to please everyone else then you might regret it. You don't live to please others.

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honestly your relationship is your business.

 

I would guess your family thinks they are helping you, but they're actually not. Who you marry is solely up to you. If you end a happy, loving relationship, that makes you happy, because of other's opinions. then you are probably too immature to be married.

 

keep your relationship and all its inner workings between you and the other person. period.

 

My grandparents were 11 years apart and perfectly happy together.

 

the heck with them. you live for you. that's the only way to be truly happy.

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The only consideration about the age gap is that you MUST be on the same page about kids. you need to talk seriously. You can't be "maybe someday" - you would have to be on the same page about not using birth control once married and at what point do you want to move from that to trying. You can't decide when you are 35 that you suddenly want kids. As you get older, 8 years will be nothing. no one bats an eye at a 60 and 68 year old together.

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Out of curiosity, what is the age difference between your parents who protest so much? An 8 year age gap is quite common where I live. However, it's usually the man who is older and then no-one bats an eyelash. Women tend to outlive men and it sounds like you are on the same page about starting a family so, actually, the age gap is not an issue in your case. It would have been an issue if you were not on the same page regarding starting a family but you stated that you are.

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It may be more a gender reversal age issue (sexist and ageist). Ie. The man shouldn't be so much younger than the woman type of deal.

 

Take things with a pinch of salt. In other words, don't take everything literally or eat up everything people have to say. It's not they who are living your life. Your family may have your best interests at heart but it's coming out in crass or insensitive ways. They may also be thinking about her childbearing years and the smaller window she has compared to younger women.

 

How is this affecting your partner? Does she know?

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  • 2 weeks later...

My husband is 10 years younger to me and we've been married 4 years. We have an amazing relationship. Yes, people did have a lot to say when we decided to tie the knot. And there are still people who look at us like we're crazy. But we're happy - we deal extremely well together and understand each other. It ultimately comes down to how good your relationship is, rather than age. If you are with someone who is socially acceptable in age, there's no guarantee that you're going to deal well together. It's about you two in the end.

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  • 1 month later...

My brother was married to a woman 10 years older then him. While the marriage didn't last, they have remained close friends ever since.

 

Eight years isn't a large gap and if anything, it is less important as you get older. If one was 18 and the other 26, you could argue the two are in different stages of their life. But by late twenties/mid thirties, people tend to be more mature and have a clearer picture of what they want in life. Ultimately it comes down to what you want. It is your relationship, no one else's. As long as a couple approaches it openly and honestly with each other, love each other, and are willing to work together.... it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.

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  • 1 month later...

Age is just a number, it doesn't tell you anything about who the person is. If two people love each and are willing to commit to each other, it shouldn't matter how old they are or what the difference is. And the only people who can decide if they are ready for marriage, is the people in the relationship. It's up to them, no one else.

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