Jump to content

Recommended Posts

First off, not in a negative way. We’ve been apart for a while and have had little to no contact but It seems things he’s posting things On his Snapchat as a ploy to get me to talk to him. Inside jokes, things I care about, etc. Is this normal? What does this mean?

Link to post
Share on other sites

It means it's his way of processing things which isn't very mature or private. It depends on how you want to look at it. He's entitled to do it as long as he's not slandering you or producing any hate speech. You mentioned it's not negative but it does come across as manipulative and passive aggressive. These aren't exactly positive traits either.

 

How are you feeling?

Link to post
Share on other sites

Why are you still following their social media?

 

Why do you allow yourself to be so passively triggered, to think something not specifically directed to you, has anything to do with you?

 

If it is targeted to you, how does that are you feel? It's not a clear cut attempt to engage with you. Yet, do you want it to be? Is that actually enough for you? Why is this person renting space in your head for free?

Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm feeling okay, just confused. We ended mutually and I actually think we could be friends at some point in the future. Which is why I haven't blocked or deleted them on anything because there wasn't really anything dramatic that staying "friends" on social media would be a problem. It doesn't bother me still being connected on social media. We don't really talk or engage with one another, just follow. Maybe I should have clarified, their posts haven't been mean, triggering, or anything that would hurt me to see. I don't assume they're all about me. They've just been posting oddly coincidental lately (about my passions...inside jokes we had...etc.) and I was curious if this was a typical way an ex would reach for a form of connection/communication.

Link to post
Share on other sites

People post all sorts of random stuff. Since you had some things in common it may stand out to you more. If he wanted to communicate he knows how to reach you.

 

Are you looking for some sort of green light to contact him? Is he dating someone now?

They've just been posting oddly coincidental lately (about my passions...inside jokes we had...etc.) and I was curious if this was a typical way an ex would reach for a form of connection/communication.
Link to post
Share on other sites
I'm feeling okay, just confused. We ended mutually and I actually think we could be friends at some point in the future. Which is why I haven't blocked or deleted them on anything because there wasn't really anything dramatic that staying "friends" on social media would be a problem. It doesn't bother me still being connected on social media. We don't really talk or engage with one another, just follow. Maybe I should have clarified, their posts haven't been mean, triggering, or anything that would hurt me to see. I don't assume they're all about me. They've just been posting oddly coincidental lately (about my passions...inside jokes we had...etc.) and I was curious if this was a typical way an ex would reach for a form of connection/communication.

 

I think it may be typical of an ex that is just putting out feelers to see if you react to breadcrumbs. I don't think anyone with true intentions of getting someone back would do it this way. Someone that knows what they want and has your interest at heart is not so cryptic. This kind of subliminal message is just a game... And if you're willing to bite, they didn't twist your arm and owe you nothing back

 

If your ex wants you back in a moral and caring way, then this would not be the approach is my point. Think open communication with clearly defined intent.

 

Anything less is wasting your time and using you.

Link to post
Share on other sites
I'm feeling okay, just confused. We ended mutually and I actually think we could be friends at some point in the future. Which is why I haven't blocked or deleted them on anything because there wasn't really anything dramatic that staying "friends" on social media would be a problem. It doesn't bother me still being connected on social media. We don't really talk or engage with one another, just follow. Maybe I should have clarified, their posts haven't been mean, triggering, or anything that would hurt me to see. I don't assume they're all about me. They've just been posting oddly coincidental lately (about my passions...inside jokes we had...etc.) and I was curious if this was a typical way an ex would reach for a form of connection/communication.

 

No it's not a typical way a person who you're no longer dating would try to connect with you in any genuine, relevant, meaningful way. Are you asking about connection and communication - nice fancy terms -when what you really want to know is "does this mean he wants to date me again?" Two different things.

Link to post
Share on other sites

OP, trying to read something personal into what your ex is posting on social media is a really good way to humiliate yourself and stay stuck.

 

Harsh reality is that he has your contact info and knows how to reach you directly if he wanted to. If he isn't doing it, it's because he is not interested in getting back with you.

 

True story. I posted a pic that I particularly like on my profile. I'm barely active on social media and had no idea an ex was still keeping tabs. He saw the pic and contacted me all excited because he took that pic as me wanting to get back together with him. From there on out it was the most painfully awkward conversation where I had to explain to him that I posted the pic because I like it, and that I didn't even think of him or about him while doing so, and that it had nothing to do with him, and that I had zero interest in getting back together.

 

OP, please block delete and stop looking at what your ex is up to. Stop hurting yourself. Your avatar name is youngnotdumb - start living up to it.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Once someone becomes an ex, I have no further interest in their social media. If you're going to jump down that rabbit hole, it just makes the climb back out of it more difficult and unnecessary.

 

I'd switch my focus forward, and if an ex ever has anything meaningful to say to you, you'll have no trouble hearing it directly from the--TO you.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...