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Should I Press Charges?


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I found out my girlfriend was cheating so completely ignored her and wanted nothing to do with her.

 

Two weeks after she admitted cheating she sent me a random message that said ‘leave me alone, don’t contact me again’ which I though was odd because I hadn’t had any contact for two weeks. But I ignored it.

 

The following weekend I had a voicemail from her. (I don’t have my phone in work so didn’t see the call) on the voicemail she said she was standing at the edge of the train platform and she couldn’t cope anymore and she was going to commit suicide. The time on the voicemail was 3 mins earlier so I tried calling, texting and messaging her to try and get in contact.

 

Finally spoke to her and she said she was being taken to the hospital.

 

I then didn’t hear anything, until the police turned up at my house later in the week accusing and arresting me for harassment.

 

What she did was give the police screenshots from her phone saying ‘don’t contact me’ ect then the screenshots of the missed calls and messages from me saying ‘please contact me I’m worried’ ect

 

Luckily i still had the voicemail and I managed to play it to them, it was only then they believed me.

 

 

Question is..Do I press charges?, she’s had/got mental health issues and ptsd, I want her to understand that she can’t do that to people because if I had deleted that voicemail or answers the call, I would have been screwed. If I press charges then that’s what sends her over the edge and means she actually does something to herself I count live with myself for that, she has lost her job because of this as she used to work for the police so she’s suffered in a way.

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Ever heard of never wrestle with a pig......?

 

Block, delete, change numbers, clean any and all social media from her or her contacts and make everything private, change e-mails, if she ever shows up on your doorstep, don't talk to her, don't let her in - call the cops and let them deal with crazy.

 

This woman doesn't just have some mental health issues, she is full blown pathological and dangerous. Think about it - she planned it, set you up, and like a total fool you walked right into it. Tango with her more, she'll come up with something more potent that will actually work next time. Please just go completely dark on her - never ever any contact again. Btw, someone who is suicidal isn't going to have the mental presence to set you up and call the cops on you...... Wrap your head around that please.

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Well maybe don't press charges at the moment but definitely completely block her on everything and never speak to her again. She sounds extremely unstable! She needs to get help for her mental health, but since you're broken up you don't need to get involved.

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Why would you want to press charges while knowing that she cheated, followed by attempting to hang you by creating a set up?

 

As far as wanting to "have nothing to do with her," why was she able to contact you? You're participating in a nasty game of catch me if you can, which has a good chance at backfiring.

 

Your call...

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Go and make a police report giving details about her accusing you of harassment and how she tried to bait you. Show your proof that you did not.

 

At this point, that's all you need to do. If asked if you want to press charges, say no. You are just trying to cover your butt so you won't be further accused but no need in causing more drama by pressing charges.

 

Also block her everywhere so she has no chance of contacting you. Any emails or messages or anything that might get through, screenshot, and keep for reference sake. DO NOT reply no matter what.

If she is writing you about suicide threats again, ring 911 and report it. But DO NOT contact her again under any circumstance.

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What happened after you were arrested, OP? Do you have a lawyer advising you?

 

Because that is the person best-suited to give you advice here, in terms of what your rights are and what you need to do to protect yourself from further false accusations.

 

I agree with the others that pressing charges likely will not bring you peace or closure, and that you need to block and delete her in every way you can. Creating a bigger legal drama is going to keep you stuck in this messy woman's world for much longer than necessary.

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As MissCanuck says get in touch with a lawyer for an advice, now that its police involved may be this can be closed amicably between both parties.

Dont ever call her or message her again. Cut contact completely, no social media, no phone contacts for your own well being.

Move on clean from this, you have a family, a future to look forward to.

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As an aside, what country or US state do you live in where you got arrested for "harassment" based on the criteria you provided? I'd like to avoid that dystopia.

 

Not knowing where you are, I couldn't even provide amateur advice. Contact a lawyer if you're so compelled. Generally speaking, the onus will be on the police to turn around and charge somebody for a false report. I doubt I'd be making any legal pursuits, but if I were to at all, it'd be seeing if I had a case for an unlawful arrest. Seems pretty bonkers unless you already had a restraining order placed against you. If you think she's damaging your reputation and livelihood, that'll be its own issue to discuss with a lawyer.

 

While blocking is 99% of the time good advice, I wouldn't do it in this case. She's demonstrated she's willing to involve law enforcement. You'll want any and all documentation you can get should she decide to doctor her own in the future. Don't engage. Don't reply. Live your life.

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The short answer is NO.

 

You were ignoring her and she got you to bite on the bait she threw out there. What she did was a planned and calculated effort to get you back into her life. For some people even bad/hurtful attention is better than none at all.

 

You got tricked into contacting her, next time no matter what she says of does do not bite. She will go away sooner or later but the more you engage with her (even through legal channels) the longer she will hang around.

 

What I would do is make sure I had the business card of any and all police officers that are aware of the situation just in case something else happens.

 

For now the best option is not to escalate the situation but if it continues then an order of protection can be requested through the court.

 

Be smart and don't let her drag you into her dysfunction.

 

Lost

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