TulipWriter 35 Posted June 26, 2020 Share Posted June 26, 2020 I went to parties and did things with guys I didn't truly want to do. I transferred my sophomore year to a much better college; however even while there I still felt peer pressure to "fit in" and do typical college activities. I couldn't wait to make it through and just get that degree that was etched into my psyche as being so important. I feel horrible that I let peer pressure get the better of me at my first college. Occasionally I even have a dream that what I did with this one guy didn't really happen; that I had just dreamed it. Then I wake up and I'm hugely disappointed. I need some kind/encouraging words. Hearing similar stories would also be a great help. Thanks. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Capricorn3 1,100 Posted June 27, 2020 Share Posted June 27, 2020 I have a feeling a lot of first year college student "went wild". It's probably the norm and all part of growing up. I can imagine, looking back in time, all those students probably cringe quite a lot when thinking back to their "misspent youth". 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
bluecastle 1,037 Posted June 27, 2020 Share Posted June 27, 2020 Agree with Capricorn. Catch me in the right headspace, and I can cringe a lot at things I've done, choices I've made, places I've stumbled. College, the three years I attended? Ooof. Name it and I probably did it. Have been at peace with that phase, and others, for a while now, but I think it's kind of inevitable that they surface from time to time. As we get older, we mature, and as we mature we look back on our lives from different angles, different lights, sometimes ones that sting, for a moment. Acknowledge the moment, and let it pass. Sometimes we just need to wink at our pasts here and there—or cringe—to get back to the present. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
TulipWriter 35 Posted June 27, 2020 Author Share Posted June 27, 2020 College, the three years I attended? Ooof. Name it and I probably did it. Curious, did you graduate college? What kind of stuff did you do that you wish you didn't? As we get older, we mature, and as we mature we look back on our lives from different angles, different lights, sometimes ones that sting, for a moment. Very true. :) Acknowledge the moment, and let it pass. Sometimes we just need to wink at our pasts here and there—or cringe—to get back to the present. I also sometimes remember something my friend said back in the 90s, when I was obsessed with the 50s: "As soon as I find someone with a time machine, I'll let you know." Still waiting to hear from her. ;) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Seraphim 1,994 Posted June 27, 2020 Share Posted June 27, 2020 I think everyone did something stupid then. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
DancingFool 1,562 Posted June 27, 2020 Share Posted June 27, 2020 I could have sworn that's what college is for....lol.... Congrats, you are normal doing normal things. As long as you graduate and aren't flunking our classes, you are fine. College is the best time of your life - enjoy. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
melancholy123 487 Posted June 27, 2020 Share Posted June 27, 2020 Most of us did stupid sh1t in college, you are not the only one. It sounds like you have grown up and matured and probably would never do those things again, so consider it a tough lesson learned. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Tinydance 380 Posted June 27, 2020 Share Posted June 27, 2020 (edited) Actually I've done a lot of "wild" stuff. Both at university/college and also later in life! I'm 35 now lol Given the chance I'll still do it 😂 I'm single right now though and don't have kids (yet). The thing is I didn't feel bad about it. I mean, for one thing we can't change the past. The only thing you can do is change your behaviour if you don't like it, and change the future. It's actually common for people in college to party, hook up, drink, smoke, etc. Of course you don't have to do any of those things if you don't want to. If you don't want to do anything like that again, you don't have to. Don't feel bad about it, you did what a lot of teenagers do and you had fun and experimented. In any case, you can't change the past so don't beat yourself up. Edited June 27, 2020 by Tinydance 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
LaHermes 261 Posted June 27, 2020 Share Posted June 27, 2020 LOL. Not much to add to what everyone else has said. We had a lot of fun. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
TulipWriter 35 Posted June 27, 2020 Author Share Posted June 27, 2020 I could have sworn that's what college is for....lol.... Congrats, you are normal doing normal things. lol, thanks. That definitely made me feel better. As long as you graduate and aren't flunking our classes, you are fine. College is the best time of your life - enjoy. I'm not in college. I graduated with a B.A. in January 2008. So I haven't been in college for awhile now. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lambert 663 Posted June 27, 2020 Share Posted June 27, 2020 Learn to laugh at yourself... Especially the things done in youth. We have all been there. I tend to look back at my own youth and thank God. someone was looking out for me. The fact that I made it out of those years relatively unscathed, is the only thing that really matters now. Lol Everyone has a past. Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
WalterSobcha 7 Posted August 27, 2020 Share Posted August 27, 2020 Don't feel bad about it... It's part of growing up. You do things that you regret, which makes you learn not to do them again. I don't think there's anyone who hasn't ever regretted something they've done. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Batya33 2,112 Posted August 27, 2020 Share Posted August 27, 2020 How about donating to or volunteering for a cause that is related to helping women who've been harassed or bullied on college campuses? I went away for one semester -in the 1980s. I was bullied and victimized and harassed. It was awful. most of my friends who went away for college did a lot they regret - mistakes when choosing to get drunk. Etc. I would tell myself I'm not going to indulge in the regret and take action that is positive. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
FenixReborn 13 Posted August 28, 2020 Share Posted August 28, 2020 Huh, looks like I'm the only one that didn't go crazy in college. Given that my family life went to hell in that time, doubt I would have had time even if I wanted to. I figure I'll just save up all my wild acts of rebellion for the nursing home. Watch out for me in my 80s! We all make mistakes and do things we regret. Hopefully we learn from them. Batya33, I'm sorry you went through that. College was alright, but I've been picked on in school and outside of school. It's never easy and can really scar you. I agree with the idea of volunteering. That's one reason I do it, because I don't want to see people hurting like I have. Taking the pain and turning it into something positive, a force for good, is a wonderful thing to do. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
jimthzz 200 Posted August 28, 2020 Share Posted August 28, 2020 I regret the time spent in the library? The rest? Fond memories! 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Batya33 2,112 Posted August 28, 2020 Share Posted August 28, 2020 Huh, looks like I'm the only one that didn't go crazy in college. Given that my family life went to hell in that time, doubt I would have had time even if I wanted to. I figure I'll just save up all my wild acts of rebellion for the nursing home. Watch out for me in my 80s! We all make mistakes and do things we regret. Hopefully we learn from them. Batya33, I'm sorry you went through that. College was alright, but I've been picked on in school and outside of school. It's never easy and can really scar you. I agree with the idea of volunteering. That's one reason I do it, because I don't want to see people hurting like I have. Taking the pain and turning it into something positive, a force for good, is a wonderful thing to do. I wasn't just picked on. I was harassed and my property was stolen and I was bullied such that I could not live in my own room after awhile. Partly it was because I didn't get drunk or take drugs when I partied. Silver lining was I ended up meeting some good people - was only there a few months but still in touch with a few. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
FenixReborn 13 Posted August 30, 2020 Share Posted August 30, 2020 I wasn't just picked on. I was harassed and my property was stolen and I was bullied such that I could not live in my own room after awhile. Partly it was because I didn't get drunk or take drugs when I partied. Silver lining was I ended up meeting some good people - was only there a few months but still in touch with a few. For what it's worth, you sound like you were a smart and awesome person then and you are a smart and awesome person now. You are strong. Don't change. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
CrazyWife 8 Posted February 11 Share Posted February 11 We all do stupid things when we are young. If you never do so, how can you grow wise? I still look back and cringe sometimes but just try to laugh it off as a crazy stage. Trust me, there will be those who have done worse. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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