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Is it bad to ask to see bf’s bank account?


bluesky45
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OP, some very wise women in my family have always been emphatic about this:

 

1) Never every marry a man who hasn't lived on his own - the reasoning is really quite simple. You don't want to marry a manchild and become a mommy to him. You want to be sure that you have a partner who knows how to balance a checkbook, pay bills, prioritize, do his laundry and housekeeping and feed himself. If a guy goes from parents' to living with you, you can pretty much bet your life you will step into his mother's shoes and end up mothering him.....and that kind of kills romance and relationships.

 

In short, moving from his parents' house to your parents' house is NOT a natural progression. Getting his own place and living on his own IS the natural progression.

 

2) Never ever buy a house with someone you are not married to. So many legal issues and complications with this. You should NEVER combine money and/or assets with just a boyfriend.

 

OP, if your goal is to own a house, then by all means pursue that goal, but NEVER ever combine that with a bf. Do it solo and strictly in your name. He can live there and pay rent, but talk to a good lawyer and have a written agreement in place before you move anyone in. When it comes to bf's, be sure to have an easy out clause. Meaning that if your relationship isn't working out, you can kick him out fast and with minimal notice. Learn to protect yourself and your hard earned assets. Don't rely on a guy for that and DON'T play wifey....which is what you are trying to do now. Don't just don't.

 

Amen to all that DF.

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Okay thanks guys. I’ve read all the comments and I’ve spoken to him about the savings.

 

Definitely a good idea to rent first to see how it is between just us. So will do that once the savings have increased more and so on.

 

Thank you all, will just see how it goes. I’d appreciate no more comments as I feel like this is enough ground covered, and won’t be touching on the subject again, as if all goes to rubbish then it’s just gone!

 

Thanks!

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Okay thanks guys. I’ve read all the comments and I’ve spoken to him about the savings.

 

Definitely a good idea to rent first to see how it is between just us. So will do that once the savings have increased more and so on.

 

Thank you all, will just see how it goes. I’d appreciate no more comments as I feel like this is enough ground covered, and won’t be touching on the subject again, as if all goes to rubbish then it’s just gone!

 

Thanks!

 

I honestly would live on your own before living with a guy or at least end him living with your folks. . You come into your own. And you will see who he really is. If you move out together and live together, it will be so hard to break things off if you see things that are not compatible and you will put up with a lot of crap because you are obligated to. Just my two cents. take it from someone who has been there. To me, moving in with the parents of your girlfriend is being a manchild. I would think he would have bent over backwards to show you that he can handle things on his own to prove himself worthy vs wanting YOU to move out so he can slide on in to spending the night 7 days a week

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