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Blocked out of nowhere


Julia5678
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Long story short- I dated a guy three years ago& he broke my heart - he’d majorly pursued me but then he left me while he was stressed about financial problems. Four months later he tried to get me back &spent 2years trying.

 

This March after no contact for eleven months I texted him. He was incredibly enthusiastic and we arranged to meet on the Saturday. On the Friday lockdown started. We have been texting three months - a little on/off as he does tend to vanish for a few days every so often. I was stressed from work , was worried that was seeping into our conversation so said I would take a few weeks no contact to get my head straight- the not knowing when we could meet was making it difficult.

 

The next day (Thursday) he texted, I reiterated that it wasn’t about him, but by then the social bubble scheme had been announced. We arranged to bubble and he would come on Sunday: his idea and he was mega enthusiastic. Saturday I message him, he replied with perfectly normal, friendly message. I replied. Literally 2mins later I’d been blocked across platforms. I’m so confused and hurt.

I know he is immature/cowardly etc. I know this behaviour shows how unworthy of me. I don’t need to hear more of this.

 

He lost his sister in December and is still suffering. We have both been badly hurt in the past and were looking forward to being together as we are both just nice people (he is so kind and lovely when emotionally well).

 

Although he tends to vanish he has never blocked me before. I just don’t get why, when he has tried to get back with me for years &we’ve waited for three months he cuts all ties and drives me away forever the day before we would finally be together. After he was so enthusiastic. I know it is his problem not me, but I’m so frustrated at how unfair it has been. If not for lockdown we would have met three months ago. I miss him deeply and I’m so sad never to talk to him again- we have this bizarre connection and I love just the random chats we would have. I’m trying to move on but hate that this is so final and without warning. It feels like something has been cut away from me.

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My guess is he hasn't been totally honest with you and he's been seeing someone else. His two worlds were about to collide and he's cut you off so she doesn't find out - or, he had never had any serious intention of sitting out lockdown with you and didn't have the stones to tell you.

 

I'm sorry. I know it stings but it's better to let go of him. It wouldn't have been a good idea to quarantine together when you two were not actually dating. If you two couldn't manage to make this work over the past couple years, there's a reason. It's time to put him in your past for good.

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That’s not him, he’s not seeing anyone.

 

While he was trying to get me back I was seeing someone else which ended a bit over a year ago.

 

We acknowledged me and (guy 1) wouldn’t be each other’s forever. With what we’d each been through we just needed a nice person to heal with.

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With what we’d each been through we just needed a nice person to heal with.

 

You can see that's not working, though. Your feelings are hurt, which makes sense when someone randomly cuts you off, but this is your cue that the idea of healing together is not realistic or practical.

 

And unless you're with him all the time, we never really know what someone else is doing, who they might be talking to, and so on. I suppose you never imagined he had it in him to block you everywhere either, no? It's time to accept that he is capable of things you don't want him to be capable of.

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I didn’t say it was working... and I was obviously talking about what we said we needed before the blocking.

 

And I do know he is not seeing anyone else. I was surprised by the blocking but not the withdrawal from his own feelings or from the thought of confrontation.

 

I have not said anything about trying to get with him since the blocking. In fact I quite clearly said I am trying to move on and that I won’t be talking to him again

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If you're still reading...

 

I know you are shocked and you thought something different was happening. Its hard to know what another person is thinking.

 

But! I have seen or experienced myself, some times the only thing the person is capable of doing is just burning the bridge.

 

The reason? Who really knows. It is strictly their own. They can't deal with being honest. There was a part of the story you dont know. or some combination of the two.

 

Sounds like maybe you reached out, being lonely from the pandemic? Maybe looking back to a lost opportunity? Only you really know but its worth exploring.

 

Sometimes when things end, in time we remember them differently. We think, hey that person was cool. Maybe it could be worth it to re-evaluate.... but agreeing to be in the bubble, after a long time apart, might not be for the best.

 

Anyhoo... I wpuld just take this on the proverbial chin and never reach out or talk to this person again. they blocked. their choice. message received... on to bigger and better things.

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Does he find you too argumentative, negative or combative? Than can make people block when they used to just stay NC.

I didn’t say a few weeks no contact— I said press pause for a few weeks... next day I explained I meant was stepping back from texting so much
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OP it would seem that you have fallen into the trap that all of us have fallen into at some point... ignoring red flags to pursue potential vs. reality.

 

Reality (in your words) -

he broke my heart, left me when things got difficult, vanished every so often for a few days (presumably without warning), he is immature and cowardly, his behavior is unworthy of me

 

Sure he MIGHT have the potential to be the person you want him to be... but reality is that he is not treating you with respect.

 

Sometimes letting go of the idea of a relationship is much harder than letting go of an actual relationship, because at that point we have to face the reality that the relationship was never meant to be in the first place.... and that's where the feelings of disappointment and frustration often come from.

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I see this is one of those forums where nobody is capable of saying anything other than the boring knee jerk reactions to the non -poster behaviour.

 

I said I don’t want those knee jerk reaction comments.

 

I’ll just unsubscribe

 

You don't control the narrative when you post on a public forum, OP.

 

Getting your defenses up because you don't like what you're hearing doesn't help you. Close the thread if you like, but I don't see how that gets you anywhere. I am not sure what you expected us to tell you?

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I see this is one of those forums where nobody is capable of saying anything other than the boring knee jerk reactions to the non -poster behaviour.

 

I said I don’t want those knee jerk reaction comments.

 

I’ll just unsubscribe

 

Lol I think I know why he blocked her...

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OP, you're showing your true colors here. You can't go onto an open forum and demand how people reply. If you were this aggressive at all with him, he no doubt didn't want a

 

fight so pretended to be nice to you but secretly was blocking once he realized you were trying to get back into contact.

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I see it a little differently. When you two were dating he said he left you while you were stressed about $$$. You really didn't go into how you acted while you were stressed but it was enough to leave an impression on him.

Then when you were talking again, you mentioned that you were stressed from work again. Can you see that past behaviors about your stress could of scared him away? Or he thought I don't want to go thru this again and just said Im blocking her.

Maybe he is seeing someone or maybe morbid curiosity would have him wonder how you were doing. And when you mentioned you were stressed, he said Im out!

Whatever the case maybe, You have your resolution and absolution. You two had something in the past and he should remain in the past because that is exactly where he is leaving you, in his past.

Leave him alone. Privately wish him a good life and just let him go. Turn the page on a new chapter.

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