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My parents care more about their money than they do about my physical wellbeing


yun
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I recently began going to a really intense badminton training camp (3 hours, 5 days a week, for 3 weeks) that cost $500. I love badminton and my parents know this, and that I wouldn't decide to take a day off unless I felt I truly needed it. However, I asked them if I could stay home tomorrow from training because I had just been feeling sore and nauseous from the intense exercise (especially because it felt really sudden because of quarantine). I endured the soreness thinking I could handle it and that it could go away in time, but today, I was aching all over my body during training and got a blister on my thumb, and it was affecting the effectiveness of the training (to put it simply, I was just too tired and beat down to do the drills properly-- my coach also pointed out that I seemed "out of it").

 

I am aware of how expensive this camp was and that my parents would most likely make me sleep it off and send me right back tomorrow, but I felt that it was a bigger waste of money if I kept training in this state and ended up injuring myself (and couldn't go to training anymore) rather than take one day off to fully recover. But my parents wouldn't let me take tomorrow off, and I tried calmly negotiating with them about the money and about how I needed rest, but they simply yelled back that I could just get a good night's sleep and just ask for easier drills tomorrow (which isn't how it works btw).

 

Although needing to recover is part of the issue, it also hurts me that they cared more about getting their money's worth from the camp than about my physical wellbeing. I'm not sure whether or not I want to negotiate with them any further about taking the day off, because I feel that it would really just result in a lot of yelling and blaming from my parents, which really takes it out of my mental health. Should I keep trying to negotiate with them for the sake of my physical health or bite my tongue and endure it for the sake of my mental health?

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How old are you? Is this your first week at the camp? I think you should suck it up and go to the camp and put a bandaid on your sore thumb. I'm speaking as a mother of a daughter who was a senior level figure skater who trained many hours per week. You just have to motor on through it. No pain, no gain.

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I went through your older posts and around this time last year you were exercising quite a lot, badminton too. You really are dedicated to it! I admire that and keep up the good work, I say.

 

I get you're feeling a bit miffed and annoyed with your parents for not listening to your concerns in a very compassionate way. They do have a point though - are you able to ask for lighter drills?

 

Let's put it this way - is the blister going to heal in one day? Probably not. It takes several days for a blister to heal and peel off naturally. Muscle soreness isn't exactly going to go away in a day either so taking a day off to heal fully isn't likely to happen.

 

I think it's a good idea to take your concerns to your drill instructor or trainer and explain your symptoms. He or she might be able to switch you to a different work out routine that places less stress on the muscles that are sore or the blister area.

 

Definitely don't stay silent about it and go through with your regular work out and injure yourself in the already injured areas further! Your trainer will probably also be able to guide you on your technique. You may be overworking or doing something wrong in your technique or slightly off in angle or follow through. Work around it and tell your instructor or trainer.

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You sound extremely ungrateful tbh.

 

You should absolutely go to training tomorrow. It is not up to your parents to decide on whether you should rest or not.

It’s up to your coach. That is what HE is trained in. Not your parents. Nor you.

 

You can absolutely say to your coach that you have a blister on your thumb and you feel sore in certain areas, he will decide on appropriate training despite that. It might mean he asks you to simply sit on the sideline and watch or give you strength exercises, be it squats etc that don’t impact your blister or whatever else is hurting.

 

To the contrary of what you think , your parents are very invested in your wellbeing , enough to fork out money well earned!

You owe it to them to continue with your training and not throw it in their face.

 

Go back to training. Tell your coach your ailments and ask that he adjusts your training schedule accordingly.

Staying home is futile.

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Your parents are of the old skool, so it's no pain no gain, suck it up, and just do it. Just show up and hit the bench to rest instead. Talk to your coach about your injuries. They can recommend exercises/stretches and home treatments to help with it. Get a good pair of sports gloves, or wrap your hand up with a tensor bandage. Hot baths, Tylenol, or a pain rub like tiger balm can help. Hydrate more...that's probably why you are feeling nauseated...not enough water intake, or try a sports drink to replenish your electrolytes.

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I don't agree with "no pain, no gain " because that causes people to ignore or disregard injuries that could turn out to be serious.

 

I blew out my knee when I was 9 years old because my parents had prepaid for ballet lessons and didn't want to "waste" the money. I ended up having more injuries and eventually needed surgery.

 

I don't think it should get to that point.

 

But it's important to really reflect; do you want to skip a day because you think the training is too hard and you don't feel like working that hard? Or are you seriously concerned about illness or injury?

 

If you have serious concerns please bring them up with your coach. Your coach can talk to your parents if the coach shares your concerns.

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Welcome to training. Yes, it's painful and exhausting and you've got to suck it up and persevere if you want to succeed.

 

Contrary to what you are thinking, your parents actually do care about your well being, both mental and physical. They aren't letting you quit just because it got tough and that's a critical lesson. One you might not understand today, but one you'll appreciate later in life a lot.

 

For the pain, be sure you are drinking a lot of water and some gatoraide or something similar with salt/electrolytes in it. Make sure you are eating big proper meals to give your body fuel and also take multivitamins daily. Again, your body needs the fuel big time. Also, eat a banana or two daily - they really help with any muscle cramping.

 

The blister - what's already said - glove, bandage. Also, tell the coaches - if you are getting blisters, it's likely you are not holding the racket quite correctly. Take advantage of the camp and the coaching to fix these sorts of details. A day off isn't going to make the blister go away anyway, but some individual attention on how to hold/do something so you aren't blistering will help you a lot in the long run.

 

Same goes for if you are having an off day or something is too much - you need to let the coaching staff know and adjust or get help to adjust. Training is all about communication and you've got to learn to speak up and do that. You don't solve your issues by just running away and taking time off. Coaches are sharp and they already noticed you were off - that was and still is your chance to let them know what's going on with you. When the coach made that comment, that was an invitation to speak up for you. A huge part of their job is to come up with individual solutions and advice on how to train, handle something, back off of something, etc.

 

I know very well that camps are designed around intensive group drills and there is a sense of competition that forces you to keep up. That's one advantage of the camp training - you'll get fitter, better faster because you are in an environment where you are going to push yourself way more than you'll ever do in individual training. That said, individual attention and adjustments are always available and there for you - to really take full advantage of this camp, you have to speak up and ask for it. Bring up what you are struggling with, what's not working and get that value of good coaching to the max. Take full advantage not just half way.

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Your parents are absolutely correct... you need to speak with your coach about how you are feeling. Your nausea and soreness can be related to all sorts of things... hydration, electrolyte balance, nutrition, sleep quality, and what you are doing for active recovery such as stretching and rolling your muscles, getting massage, etc. You also might need to scale your level of effort depending on the day and how sore you are.

 

This isn't about not caring about your well-being... it's about teaching you how to overcome your mental blocks and to work with your coach to get the most out of your training.

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It's not that your parents care more about the money. It's that they care more about instilling some values in you with this experience.

 

Assuming that you aren't playing badmitton against your will. Your parents have sponsored something that you wanted to do.

 

Playing a sport is a commitment. Letting you take a day off at your leisure and even if your thumb is sore is a poor message.

 

I have two sons. One was always 100% all in. The other always had an excuse. Whenever signups for any sport came around, we had the same talk. - this is a commitment, a commitment to your team and your whole family is involved. You either play the entire season and go to every practice without any excuses, or you don't play at all.

 

At some point he just realized organized sports weren't his thing. But not until after alot of battles and whining about not wanting to go half the time.

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All this pain, bumps and bruises is called conditioning. If you want to go pro, you need to push yourself through this like all famous athletes have to do. It is what it is. You need to see the bigger picture here in what needs to be accomplished. You can do this!

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You put gloves on, you drink tons of water because you could feel nauseous because you are dehydrated and you go and try. Let the COACH decide if they think you need to sit on the sidelines, but make the effort to show up. also, sometimes our stomachs get queasy because we just don't want to do things/we are nervous.

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