Fiancé’s Best man (his uncle) sent long email urging him not to marry me....

[Tanzi]

Gotta agree with you Wiseman, the uncle certainly seemed like a prize jerk with his very non-funny joke but there is something about that letter. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. I’m by no means condoning the uncle’s past actions but it certainly made me wonder whether there is another side (or more) to this story.

[abitbroken]

In rereading things, the uncle talked about better matches for you BOTH.

It is not his fault that the uncle showed up - you can't control others. He did tell the uncle he had plans with you so that should have been the end of that, but you broke up with him over it. Its like me and my guy out somewhere and all the sudden we run into my ex or his ex from long ago. We don't approach, but they approach us. Is it either of our fault?

 

He should be with someone when the uncle shows up "Oh, bummer, we would have loved to spend time with you, but we already have plans set. How about you guys hang out tomorrow/or how about you meet us for a drink after the event we are going to. You might have better luck calling instead of just showing up."

 

And you need someone who is willing to be an army of two - someone with no family (or they are very far away), estranged family, or someone otherwise willing for it really to just be the two of you

 

He has to change who he is to marry you. And at this point, your relationship should not be so much strife.you should naturally get along easily.

 

Please break the engagement. What you see is what you get. if you will not right now, postpone the wedding and don't set a new date. There is still time for people to change their plans and to get deposits back.

[smackie9]

If I had a family member terrorize my soon to be spouse I would have some words about that and stick up for my fiance because I see them hurt....and the actions are cruel/inappropriate. Your fiance has never stood by your side, or stood up for you or even made any effort to stop it. He has always told you to ignore it, or get over it, it's just the way he is. How the hell can you marry someone who doesn't give a rat's butt about your feelings??? You are making a huge mistake. And to add insult to injury, he makes him his best man....egad give you head a shake.