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Hope someone can help me with this


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So, I’ve known this guy for awhile, we’ve been on 3 dates, all were at his place. The last date I had with him we were making out, and I gave him a handjob. He decided on standing up instead. So I did, I stopped. Then he looked down at himself and said oh no! and he ran to the bathroom. I hate to be graphic with all of this, but it was something in his pubic hair, he came out of the bathroom and asked if I had gum. Which I did. But I didn’t give him a bj, not ready for that. Do you think he has crabs and wasn’t telling me? I don’t really no what to think, if I remember correctly he said he thought he had a hernia. Thanks hope this isn’t confusing. I think we might see each other again, once I’m out of qaurentine. What are your thoughts? Thanks

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I have no idea but you better find out from him. Huge red flag and this effects your health so take it very seriously. I'm not kidding or being overly dramatic. Since it was your hand, you might be fine... But this guy... Eww. I dump this dude.

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I'm not making the connection from "oh no" to gum and crabs.

 

Did you not see what he was oh no-ing about? What was actually there or feel anything? He may be very embarrassed about the whole thing. If you like him, be patient and see how things pan out in the next few days.

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If you're having doubts about him in general, it's probably not a good idea to have sex or do anything else with him sexually. Get to know each other a bit more.

 

I get the feeling you're a bit anxious about this person even though he mentioned it might be a hernia. You were the one there and you're the one that knows him so you're also the best judge of whether he can be trusted or not if it really was a hernia issue and if it is about his hernia, making him feel awful about careless blue gum-chewing partners or having STIs would be cruel. It may not explain what you saw but you can always mention it in person or ask him if he's seeing anyone else. Mentioning it in person also means you get to see his response in person.

 

Take it slow if you're both getting reacquainted and if you need to know more about him or establish some exclusivity together first before doing anything else. Has he contacted you since? How often do you communicate with him?

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I understand, like I said, I got nervous they way he reacted. I was also embarrassed to ask him in person if he had anything. Which I do need to get over that. Yes, we text a lot, I’ve never been with anyone before, and I was considering it. Yes, we did only go to his place because of the pandemic.

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Your first time should be special or at least enjoyable, not worrying like this. Go slower with him and see where things are going. Don't feel pressured to do anything. The last thing you should be worrying about is whether your partner doesn't respect you enough or care about you enough to practice good hygiene or inform you if he's sleeping with others or update you on his health if anything seems suspicious. You should, at the very least, trust this person's character.

 

I'd kick back on the next date, have some conversations, keep things comfortable and open and don't be afraid to ask him about his hernia issues. Communicate about exclusivity or dating exclusively or ask him if he's seeing other people. Don't sleep with him until you have a better idea of who he is. Repeat until you start to feel more comfortable. If you feel uncomfortable or nervous, that's your instincts telling you to slow it down.

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How dangerous to go to a strangers home. Not smart! Also, this shows that you are open to having sex.

 

Can't you meet at a park, or wait until the pandemic is over?

Edited by Hollyj
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Maybe he just wanted gum??

Did you give him a piece?

 

Sounds to me like he came and the stuff on his pubic hair was that?

He was embarrassed that it was premature and tried to make excuses??

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Talk to a trusted adult about sex education. A relative,a teacher, nurse, doctor, your therapist,etc. Ask your parents to take you to a doctor or clinic for a check up and to discuss safe sex, STDs contraception, etc.

 

If you can't tell the difference between crabs, hernias and ejaculation, this visit and talk is long overdue. Do not do stuff just to be liked. Talk to your therapist about self esteem and crying over boys.

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