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Is my behavior inappropriate?


TMurphy
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Yes, your behavior is highly inappropriate! :eek: :upset: You need to enforce healthy boundaries with people including coworkers. Your sincere loyalty and devotion belongs to your wife. Guard your eyes, heart and mind because your wife will appreciate it.

 

I'm married and my husband and I know how to respect each other accordingly as should you.

 

Cut that chat with your coworker. (Same with all electronic communication, too.) Remain professional, well mannered, polite, respectful, kind yet distant. Know where to draw the line. No more after hour drinks. Go home to your wife. You're not a single guy anymore. Act like a respectable married man.

 

Going out for an occasional lunch with a group of coworkers is okay. That's it. Be honorable and show your marriage respect.

 

It doesn't matter regarding gender whether the husband or wife spending excessive time with the opposite gender. Integrity is required even when no one is looking. That's what love and respect is.

 

He said it's actually his wife who is going out with a coworker. His most recent post gives this detail. He then apparently showed his wife this thread.

 

Interesting way to communicate IMO.

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His update says his wife is actually the one spending time with another man. He posted this and showed his wife to prove a point, I guess.

 

I know that's why I mentioned it being the other way around is just as equally inappropriate...I wasn't going to retype my whole reply....it's a faceless person behind a keyboard so who really knows if this is true or not...if it's him doing it or the wife...just fishing for someone to have a double standard? I really don't see the point of doing this thread. A bunch of strangers on the net isn't going to prove anything to her if she doesn't find fault in what she is doing. How she feels about is how she feels about it.

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I know that's why I mentioned it being the other way around is just as equally inappropriate...I wasn't going to retype my whole reply....it's a faceless person behind a keyboard so who really knows if this is true or not...if it's him doing it or the wife...just fishing for someone to have a double standard? I really don't see the point of doing this thread. A bunch of strangers on the net isn't going to prove anything to her if she doesn't find fault in what she is doing. How she feels about is how she feels about it.
My thoughts exactly... one shouldn't need a bunch of strangers to prove their own point to their spouse.

 

Is the sky blue? Is 5 hour lunch with opposite sex shaky as heck? duh

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So I have to come clean, the scenario I told in my original post was actually about my wife. I made it about me so that people did feel biased to just say she was wrong. I wanted to get honest criticism to get honest opinions. The issue was I couldn't get my wife to understand what she was doing was wrong. We had a pretty lengthy blowout a while ago after letting her read everyone's response and she now understands and I believe she feels true remorse. I really want to thank everyone for helping me through this. I believe we can start to rebuild now, thinking we probably want to seek some professional guidance through this to make our marriage stronger as we rebuild.

 

crossing of boundaries is not a one way thing, both are equally responsible, whether you do it or your wife its just a sign that there is some big issue with your relationship, you both need to work on it. no sex lack of intimacy no respect for each other, almost all come down to this. Please have a nice conversation with your spouse, go to marriage councilor if things don't feel good still, else it will keep getting worse and lead to cheating and more disrespect.

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He said it's actually his wife who is going out with a coworker. His most recent post gives this detail. He then apparently showed his wife this thread.

 

Interesting way to communicate IMO.

 

This is why I mentioned "regardless of gender. There needs to be integrity, loyalty, devotion and treating each other with dignity in a marriage which means enforcing boundaries with others including coworkers.

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Understand this was not my first move to convince her. This was my last resort. I tried getting her to understand in every other way. Either way it worked so I am glad I did it.

 

Good for you! Hard to believe that she couldn't understand. Someone cannot be that obtuse.

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Do you think she will get better at covering her tracks? For whatever reason, she seeks out his companionship . Trolling is not as effective as marriage therapy and going over boundaries and issues to resolve them.

Understand this was not my first move to convince her. This was my last resort. I tried getting her to understand in every other way. Either way it worked so I am glad I did it.
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