A peaceful vent

[Spawn]

if a relationship makes you weak and you feel manipulated by your partner's behavior that relationship is not meant to be, if your partner does not respect you , keeps humiliating you again and again that relationship is not meant to be. May be we need to read these again and again, the circle of life is what it is. A person who holds his character through out the relationship, makes your life easier, respects and motivates you to become a better version of yourself is a keeper. Unfortunately to get to that person we need to weed out the bad ones from the lot. We should look out for such good characters for the new year, ensure we take care of ourselves, respect others and respect ourselves and our boundaries too. Be grateful to all that we have achieved through our struggles. 

[Spawn]

One of my good old friend asked me to check out few options at his company, they are looking out for Cloud architects and although i did fit in few of the roles being offered, my major problem is that ex is working in the same company. I thought it would be better to keep a good distance from her.

I told him that it was very kind of him to consider me, but at this moment am not looking out. It was a lie in the end but i didn't want to see her or work with her anymore. He doesn't know about us. May be its not a mature thing to do but i felt to stay away from negativity and all that i went through last year was enough.

 

[Jibralta]

2 hours ago, Spawn said:

May be its not a mature thing to do but i felt to stay away from negativity and all that i went through last year was enough.

On the contrary, I think it is the mature thing to do. Wise choice.

[Spawn]

😞 right...not sure when i will be ready for not worrying about all these things of past.

The anxiety thing is now in some control today i just woke up early did no regular work outs or meditation. Just started the day with some light music the mediation ones. Had green tea, it sucks with its taste if you dont take the dip out in time.

Wished my whole europe and asia-pac team an early merry christmas and a blessed new year, they all are off for next 2 weeks. 

i will be spending the christmas and new year all by myself. Mom is at the ancestral home, Sister has shared some amazon stuff that my niece would like to have for christmas. She wants to me to choose the ones i wish to buy, I am thinking to buy them all and gift wrap it. Their christmas tree looks huge and beautiful, wish i was there with them.

Sister happened to visit a clinic for her regular checkups and the doctor was later diagnosed with covid. She got herself tested came out negative.

 

 

 

[Spawn]

Well niece was so happy with her gifts we did a video call and she was all smiles. i think Xmas is all about giving lol i didnt get any gifts but was so happy to see her smile whole time.

Am just grateful to god for giving me this family and whatever i have managed to achieve in this life.

[Spawn]

WFH is extended till Jan 31st, am not sure what they will decide later, vaccination itself is not going to help us.

One of ma friends was saying if they couldnt discover AIDS or Cancer vaccination for so long, how is it possible to get a vaccine for covid in months, what if they inject just water in name of vaccination. As paranoid as he sounds, i still feel vaccination is good but announcing one so early is also not good.

I hope the vaccination works but its important to stop all the experiments done by humans in the first place. Be it Wuhan or any place in the world, there are some secret works being carried out by all governments. the general public is still not aware why its required or what devious intentions are behind it.

The mad lifestyle around the world to eat all kind of animals also need to stop. Nobody is listening.

 

 

[Spawn]

I think i lost one of my good friends in 2020 she isn't responding at all off late. She is my ex's manager in her new company and not sure if my ex is responsible for her to move away completely. I thought we had a good mature friendship throughout my ups and downs. Last year i had a good year of personal growth, although i was going through a depressive phase in my life, it was a year full of finding myself.

Sometimes friends that just fade away doesn't matter much, but it's been awhile since i lost friends like her. She doesn't call or message now, but i always made sure i wished her on her birthday and her daughters birthdays, her father and me are connected too on instagram, he practises yoga and is a real motivated person.

I sometimes feel like picking up the phone and contacting her, but the whole scenario of my ex working under her and the stories she might have already fed her shuts me down. I guess people just may be going through their own issues when they don't want to be in touch.

Maybe in future she may contact, i wish her and her family well...let this go as well.

[Jibralta]

4 hours ago, Spawn said:

I guess people just may be going through their own issues when they don't want to be in touch.

Yes, it could be that way. May be she's in a new relationship. Best to leave the door unlocked and not worry about it too much.

[Spawn]

I messaged by therapist the other day just wished her on New year and told her that i hoped to continue the therapy soon. She was happy learning i was doing ok if not well. She has been of immense help , gave me a different perspective to how better I can manage difficult situations in life.

 

[Spawn]

I finally cleared the Microsoft Azure Architect exam, it does feel good and promising for a new year start.

It was a surprise ask from my boss to lead a group of engineers to build a separate Squad for this technology within our company. Not sure how successful i will be creating one as many are bright and super energetic people in the team.