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Anxiety Help - Journal


boltnrun
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Our governor just reinstated bar closures. People just would NOT stop packing themselves into bars. They NEEDED to cram themselves into small, crowded places to drink alcohol and socialize.

 

I said it before and I still believe it...people think if the government reopens businesses it must be because it's safe to do so. People don't believe that the government would allow anything that is unsafe. Unfortunately, it comes down to a choice for small businesses in particular...open and provide financially for their families and accept that some of their employees and customers very likely could get sick and die, or stay safely closed and be unable to provide for their families. And corporations want that profit margin to show their stockholders, and they can hire people to replace those who get sick and/or die.

 

I'm choosing to continue Safer at Home, at least until I am ordered back to work. Then it's work, grocery store, laundromat, gas station, home. With some safe distancing walking and some sightseeing drives sprinkled in.

 

I'm cancelling my haircut appointment. I don't feel safe.

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For the third time today I saw a grocery store employee disinfecting shopping carts while swinging her head around so her long braids kept brushing along the sides of the cart. I'm not sure if she was the same person - she's not the only one with the almost waist length thin braids. So I finally told the manager -I know how hard they are working but what is the point of disinfecting a cart while your hair is sweeping back and forth along the sides??

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I saw this on the morning news a few weeks ago, but they were talking about restaurants offering takeout. They were broadcasting live from the restaurant. During the live shot the man cooking for the customer stirred the food, set down the spoon, readjusted his mask by touching the front, then picked the spoon back up and continued cooking. The customer had a physical reaction to that...he literally stepped forward. I would have walked the heck out of there after giving them a piece of my mind.

 

I watch some You Tube videos and there was one posted by what seems like a very nice young man. He and his friends love to go to theme parks (sigh...) and he was giggling while filming his friends touching things in the gift shop and trying on hats and then putting them back on the rack. There are signs in the shop saying not to touch anything unless you intend to buy it! Some of these young people though...

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are the companies forcing to come to office? here i have told my manager i wont

be coming until we have a proven vaccine and you guys can provide me a safe place at work, they have 500 people on the floor with canteens and many other stuff around, company hr is quite understanding they have extended work from home till july 31st its a drive of 1 hour and on the way many quarantined buildings and places.

it feels weird with infections at peak somehing is gonna blow up one would be my anxiety levels its gone beyond control today, i couldnt laugh watching a comedy series on tv. didnt sleep much either in the night....damn this isolation

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My job cannot be done from home. It's not an office job. Basically, I supervise employees on a production floor and run the production. I can't do that from home.

 

I'm doing a bit better with the whole surfaces thing. I saw another program today where the doctor who was the medical expert said it's community spread that is responsible for the spike. No one is saying that there are so many cases because people didn't wipe down their groceries. They are catching it from being around other people.

 

I am still wiping down my groceries but I am getting less fanatical about things like something coming into contact with my clothes. I just undress and shower when I get home. I put my clothes in the clothes hamper and don't touch them again until I load them to take them to the laundromat, usually at least one day later.

 

I went to a different grocery store today. It's a 30 minute drive but it's the chain I went to in my previous city and I know the layout well. And it wasn't that busy at all. One dingbat who had removed his mask but every single other person had theirs on. Not bad at all. Half my groceries are still in my car but that's because I couldn't carry them all! Perishables got wiped and put away, everything else will sit in my car until tomorrow.

 

Session two with my psychologist is tomorrow. I am looking forward to that.

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I’m not so worried about touch transmission as I want it was in the beginning. I don’t wipe down groceries at all anymore. But I’m going to have to start wiping my house down incessantly because Daycare starts again on Thursday.

 

I can see why you would be totally fanatical about things though.

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darn...i can understand i have a cousin and she needs to go to office, her work can't be done from home. Still think government can do more everywhere

 

Vitmain C just ensure you all have adequate quantity and regular yoga or workouts, am taking vitamin D too , no sun exposure as such, tests were showing only 6 units yikes😫

 

lucky on the psychologist, am yet to see mine she is off for last 3 months as her area is quarantined due to infections.

 

it will be better soon lets hope.

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I don't workout when I'm working because my 11 hour shifts require me to be either standing or walking the entire time. When I get home I do not want to be walking anymore!

 

I drink a Vitamin, Core or Bai water daily and my order of multivitamins should be here tomorrow. I prefer gummies for some reason. More fun, I guess.

 

I'm actually LESS fanatical, not more. Because the news reports and updates from medical professionals are not saying the cases are on the rise because people are catching the virus from a can of soup or a container of milk! They are catching it from each other.

 

I feel like more re-closures are in the future, whether or not people want them.

 

Anxiety is less constant. Yesterday was a bit bad but for the most part I don't have the constant flood of adrenaline and cortisol I was having before. It's several hours a day but not non-stop.

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My appointment is this afternoon. And my brother wants to visit this upcoming weekend. I think I will ask him to postpone. This weekend is Independence day weekend and the Covid non believers will be out in full force. I don't want him to sit in traffic for hours and hours.

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My appointment is this afternoon. And my brother wants to visit this upcoming weekend. I think I will ask him to postpone. This weekend is Independence day weekend and the Covid non believers will be out in full force. I don't want him to sit in traffic for hours and hours.

 

Tomorrow is Canada Day for us. 😀🇨🇦 . Tomorrow was supposed to be the start of my holidays and we were going to be heading to Boston I guess not.

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On the morning news:

Lead story - Coronavirus cases are spiking! Hospitals are in a crisis, reaching capacity! So many sick people, so many deaths! Officials are concerned and recommend people only go out if they have to, and masks should be worn!

Next story: This restaurant/bar/gym/amusement place is reopening and we think you should take your family and go!

 

Am I the only one who sees the discrepancy here???

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A Facebook "friend" is leading a movement to get our governor recalled because she hates being home with her kids. Her words..."I'm not cut out to be a stay at home mom. I need to go back to work because I can't take this anymore." For the record, she cuts hair and has been back at work since the beginning of June, but I guess she dislikes having to limit how many clients are in the salon and having to implement safety protocols.

 

Yeah, the governor has done awful things like mandate safety regulations and sign legislation forbidding landlords from evicting tenants who have lost their jobs due to the pandemic AND that pays the landlords funds to make up for the lost rent. Yeah, the guy is just terrible.

 

Time for an "unfriend"! I can deal with differences in opinion but I can't with people who despise spending time with their own spouses and children. Why did you marry and procreate if you despise family so much????

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Does she hate being home with her kids or hate being home in this particular situation? Two different things from what I've experienced. I need to be able to eat a meal alone and relaxed at a normal meal time more than once a month or so. For example. I love my family and was a full time mom for 7 years -this is different. But yes her belly aching on Facebook is a bit much! I agree too with unfriend. Sorry this stressed you!!

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A Facebook "friend" is leading a movement to get our governor recalled because she hates being home with her kids. Her words..."I'm not cut out to be a stay at home mom. I need to go back to work because I can't take this anymore." For the record, she cuts hair and has been back at work since the beginning of June, but I guess she dislikes having to limit how many clients are in the salon and having to implement safety protocols.

 

Yeah, the governor has done awful things like mandate safety regulations and sign legislation forbidding landlords from evicting tenants who have lost their jobs due to the pandemic AND that pays the landlords funds to make up for the lost rent. Yeah, the guy is just terrible.

 

Time for an "unfriend"! I can deal with differences in opinion but I can't with people who despise spending time with their own spouses and children. Why did you marry and procreate if you despise family so much????

 

Yup, I have unfriended a few . When the chips are down real personality comes out.

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Does she hate being home with her kids or hate being home in this particular situation? Two different things from what I've experienced. I need to be able to eat a meal alone and relaxed at a normal meal time more than once a month or so. For example. I love my family and was a full time mom for 7 years -this is different. But yes her belly aching on Facebook is a bit much! I agree too with unfriend. Sorry this stressed you!!

 

She said she's not cut out to be home with her kids. She said that's why she works. She comes from a wealthy family and so does her husband and I know they are comfortable financially, but she has always chosen to work. Which is great, I'm glad she has a career she enjoys. And her kids are not little kids. They are middle school age, so it's not like she has to change diapers or feed them. They are very capable kids (from what I've seen on social media). She just doesn't like being around them all the time, and she has said this in her own words. I guess she would rather risk her own health and that of her clients just so she can get away from her kids. It doesn't make sense, especially since our state is having a horrible and frightening spike in cases.

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She said she's not cut out to be home with her kids. She said that's why she works. She comes from a wealthy family and so does her husband and I know they are comfortable financially, but she has always chosen to work. Which is great, I'm glad she has a career she enjoys. And her kids are not little kids. They are middle school age, so it's not like she has to change diapers or feed them. They are very capable kids (from what I've seen on social media). She just doesn't like being around them all the time, and she has said this in her own words. I guess she would rather risk her own health and that of her clients just so she can get away from her kids. It doesn't make sense, especially since our state is having a horrible and frightening spike in cases.

 

I understand. Middle school kids -mine - need a lot of help right now (mine does, I've read it's typical)- just not the diaper variety. I do know parents who wanted kids badly -but want to farm out the majority of the work to raise them to outside sources or rely on grandparents often in an entitled way. I am not one to judge others and in this situation she put it out there on Facebook so she opened the door to it.

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I understand. Middle school kids -mine - need a lot of help right now (mine does, I've read it's typical)- just not the diaper variety. I do know parents who wanted kids badly -but want to farm out the majority of the work to raise them to outside sources or rely on grandparents often in an entitled way. I am not one to judge others and in this situation she put it out there on Facebook so she opened the door to it.

 

I haven't said anything to her. I feel like there's no reason for me to comment. She's perfectly within her rights to work to have the governor removed if she feels he is incapable or incompetent. I just don't understand her reasoning that he's a bad governor because he put guidelines into place to try to protect the citizens during the pandemic. I would understand if she really needed the money and was unable to feed her children due to being unable to work (or work as much as she did before). But she wants him recalled because she doesn't like being home with her kids! And zero mention of the pandemic or of the importance of being safe, just whining about how bored she is and how annoyed she is at having to be home with her kids.

 

So yeah, I unfriended her. I haven't seen her in person in YEARS and we were never really friends. We worked together for a couple of years and we grew up in the same area and have some mutual friends, but we never even once went to lunch or talked on the phone. So no big loss to me! And I'm sure she won't miss my name on her friend list either lol.

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I haven't said anything to her. I feel like there's no reason for me to comment. She's perfectly within her rights to work to have the governor removed if she feels he is incapable or incompetent. I just don't understand her reasoning that he's a bad governor because he put guidelines into place to try to protect the citizens during the pandemic. I would understand if she really needed the money and was unable to feed her children due to being unable to work (or work as much as she did before). But she wants him recalled because she doesn't like being home with her kids! And zero mention of the pandemic or of the importance of being safe, just whining about how bored she is and how annoyed she is at having to be home with her kids.

 

So yeah, I unfriended her. I haven't seen her in person in YEARS and we were never really friends. We worked together for a couple of years and we grew up in the same area and have some mutual friends, but we never even once went to lunch or talked on the phone. So no big loss to me! And I'm sure she won't miss my name on her friend list either lol.

 

Oh I'm sorry I didn't mean you should comment -I meant I usually don't feel judgey but she opened the door to being judged in general -not by you. Your unfriending accomplishes you getting space from her.

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I haven't said anything to her. I feel like there's no reason for me to comment. She's perfectly within her rights to work to have the governor removed if she feels he is incapable or incompetent. I just don't understand her reasoning that he's a bad governor because he put guidelines into place to try to protect the citizens during the pandemic. I would understand if she really needed the money and was unable to feed her children due to being unable to work (or work as much as she did before). But she wants him recalled because she doesn't like being home with her kids! And zero mention of the pandemic or of the importance of being safe, just whining about how bored she is and how annoyed she is at having to be home with her kids.

 

So yeah, I unfriended her. I haven't seen her in person in YEARS and we were never really friends. We worked together for a couple of years and we grew up in the same area and have some mutual friends, but we never even once went to lunch or talked on the phone. So no big loss to me! And I'm sure she won't miss my name on her friend list either lol.

I unfriended someone on my page who was complaining that the disabled got a few $100 payments because of the pandemic because why do they need extra money anyway? Yup, gone.

 

I unfriended another for her rabid SJW rants on people’s pages .

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I unfriended someone on my page who was complaining that the disabled got a few $100 payments because of the pandemic because why do they need extra money anyway? Yup, gone.

 

I unfriended another for her rabid SJW rants on people’s pages .

 

I've kept my family members on my friend list because, family. I just muted them.

 

And @Batya, I see the love you have for your child on these pages. In no way do I equate your need to have some alone time with what my former friend was writing. I can't say I ever saw you write anything about how you cannot stand to be around your family. And I believe you have compassion and concern for those impacted by the pandemic. My former friend is focusing on how inconvenient everything is FOR HER. Selfish IMO, especially since she is not mentioning anything about struggling financially but rather wants to go to work to get away from her family.

 

My son had to go back to work in his office today. He works for an international company that has implemented staggered work days so everyone is not present at the same time. He works remotely part of the week and in the office part of the week. Of course I worry about my kids and my son's spouse, but I feel their companies are doing their best to keep them safe. My company, on the other hand...more concerned with negative publicity and less concerned with actually protecting workers. I am looking forward to leaving the company, which is a shame since I used to be their #1 cheerleader.

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Ugh. I'm so sorry you had to deal with your friend and I know you weren't lumping me into her category. Thank you.

 

I'm so glad at least you feel comfortable with what your son's company is doing. I went all mama bear on behalf of my mother today in a situation where a relative was going to put her at great risk of getting the virus (my mom lives in a hot spot but has been careful and is ok). I got my mother -finally!! - to agree not to see the person(other than maybe a drive by). This person is also flouting a quarantine rule related to an out of state visit. I'll put that aside. But I'm not going to let someone put my mother at such risk.

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I think I'm going to be told to report to work either tonight or tomorrow. I have a feeling my manager is going to tell me to come in tonight.

 

For some reason he thought I was at the building right now. I have no idea why he thought that when #1, he works in the same building (although he works during the day and I am to work overnight) and #2, he was the one who was supposed to give me my location and schedule.

 

I'm going to guess someone didn't or isn't going to come in and he expects me to go in to cover. It's so typical of this company to not know what they're doing.

 

Anxiety is currently a 10+ out of 10...

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