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I'll have to hold off seeing a doctor until I get to my new state. I only have Monday and Tuesday here and I won't be able to fit in a doctor visit what with all the packing.

 

One thing I plan to do is sleep in tomorrow. With training I had to start class at 7 am and I haven't been sleeping much so I was awake at about 4:30 am every day. And this morning I was up at 5 to go to Walmart. Now that training is done and I have all day to pack I am hoping to stay in bed until about 8:30 am. Problem is my cat gets into my face meowing loudly if I'm not up by 5:30 getting her breakfast, but I could feed her and then go back to bed. It sounds like such a luxury!

 

I did eat some frozen pizza (I cooked it first). It didn't taste all that great but I got food in me. I might make some pudding tonight as I have developed quite a sweet tooth since I started having trouble with anxiety (last Fall). I make sugar-free pudding with lactose free milk. It's very yummy! I do wish I'd thought to pick up some non-dairy frozen dessert this morning but I won't make a special trip to the store just for that. I saw a woman a couple of weeks ago with her mask and all that at the store and she was just buying a six pack of beer! I guess she really wanted her beer! Anyway, sweets have been really the only thing that interests me food-wise, but fortunately I only do sugar-free or low sugar. And not frequently.

 

I think once I'm settled in my new home near my kids and family I will feel much better. One of my soon to be coworkers was told to just wait at home until they have a spot for him in an existing location since ours isn't opening until mid-summer. I hope they tell me the same thing! And that it's not a place that requires me to travel!

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Thank you everyone. My chest still hurts some but everything else is gradually getting a bit better each day. My brother is feeling better too. I think my nephew is getting retested tomorrow. Hop

Hey! So, I didn't get the job I went on the second interview for.  Apparently they told the staffing agent that I was "a GREAT interview!" and they really liked me but they are looking for "the p

BTW, I got the job. I started Wednesday. 

All of these amazing and brilliant regulars on this thread talking about how they have anxiety. I appreciate this so much. I too have anxiety, quite a lot and it has been at an all time high during this time because I’m also a hypochondriac. I had to get myself out of a crazy pattern of downward spiral because it was physically making me sick. I read a great book years ago on anxiety and one of her greatest pieces of advice was to under-react, which is easier said than done, if I am feeling panicky. Regarding the fear around the virus, I have to do a lot of self-talk and a lot of focusing elsewhere which helps tremendously!! I also lost weight because of anxiety and I already weighed just over 100lbs! I am doing much better now but I have better days and days where I don’t do as well. I try to really find my own empowerment these days and I really had to dig deep to find empowerment in a situation where I felt like it was out of my hands. I go out into nature every day which also helps. I’m very spiritual and try connect with my guides (I know that might sound woo woo but I love it) every day and try to remember that we are but a teeny piece of a grand universe and everything is a dialogue. So, I dialogue with the universe daily and it helps me feel like I have a relationship with a higher realm and can get out of all of the worry and the dread.

 

I have a prescription for Xanax which I only take at night if I need it. I hope this all just lets you know you are not alone :-) Many of us are in the same boat. I have to catch myself feeling the dread creep in almost daily and really work to change my perspective.

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All of these amazing and brilliant regulars on this thread talking about how they have anxiety. I appreciate this so much. I too have anxiety, quite a lot and it has been at an all time high during this time because I’m also a hypochondriac. I had to get myself out of a crazy pattern of downward spiral because it was physically making me sick. I read a great book years ago on anxiety and one of her greatest pieces of advice was to under-react, which is easier said than done, if I am feeling panicky. Regarding the fear around the virus, I have to do a lot of self-talk and a lot of focusing elsewhere which helps tremendously!! I also lost weight because of anxiety and I already weighed just over 100lbs! I am doing much better now but I have better days and days where I don’t do as well. I try to really find my own empowerment these days and I really had to dig deep to find empowerment in a situation where I felt like it was out of my hands. I go out into nature every day which also helps. I’m very spiritual and try connect with my guides (I know that might sound woo woo but I love it) every day and try to remember that we are but a teeny piece of a grand universe and everything is a dialogue. So, I dialogue with the universe daily and it helps me feel like I have a relationship with a higher realm and can get out of all of the worry and the dread.

 

I have a prescription for Xanax which I only take at night if I need it. I hope this all just lets you know you are not alone :-) Many of us are in the same boat. I have to catch myself feeling the dread creep in almost daily and really work to change my perspective.

 

Really love reading your posts, Nebraska. I especially love the part above about under-reacting, empowerment and dialogue above. That resonates with me also as I do feel interconnected with everyone and everything despite how strange our world has become. Glad you are feeling good and connecting spiritually too. Not woo woo at all. I think it's great.

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Just to complicate things, I have a lot of dietary restrictions. No dairy, no nuts, no red meat, no chocolate. I find that most nutrition bars have at least one of those things in them.

 

Well, I've never seen a red meat protein bar (haha--although it would make sense--beef jerky??), but yeah, protein bars pretty much contain all of those ingredients.

 

With training I had to start class at 7 am and I haven't been sleeping much so I was awake at about 4:30 am every day.

 

Considering everything that's going on in your life, I'm really not surprised that you're having anxiety attacks.

 

Just starting a new job causes anxiety.

 

Moving your home causes anxiety.

 

Starting a new job and moving your home at the same time?? Major anxiety.

 

Starting a new job and moving your home at the same time in the middle of a pandemic? Jesus.

 

And your job training is messing with your sleep?

 

Sleep deprivation can trigger all sorts of problems, including..... Anxiety.

 

And then anxiety causes more sleep deprivation....

 

I think once I'm settled in my new home near my kids and family I will feel much better.

 

I think you will, too.

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I don't expect to not be anxious. My original question has to do with the nature of anxiety, whether others have gone back and forth quickly between feeling OK and being extremely anxious within a few minutes.

 

Didn't get much extra sleep although when I did fall back to sleep for a bit I dreamed about going to the store and not finding wipes. This entire time I have not found one container of wipes. Not one. Couldn't even find them online. And now I'm dreaming about them. Sigh.

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One project for today...I have 9 suitcases full of clothes. Yes, 9. And I still have some laundry to do. I actually considered buying another large suitcase to hold more clothing.

 

No one needs that much clothing. No one. My new home has a tiny little closet, so paring down must happen. I did one paring down before I started packing and came up with only one small bag of things to donate. Nope, not good enough. I need to get it down to about 4-5 suitcases at most.

 

That doesn't even include my shoes and coats/jackets. I have acquired way too much clothing. This must stop!!!

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I don't expect to not be anxious. My original question has to do with the nature of anxiety, whether others have gone back and forth quickly between feeling OK and being extremely anxious within a few minutes.

 

Didn't get much extra sleep although when I did fall back to sleep for a bit I dreamed about going to the store and not finding wipes. This entire time I have not found one container of wipes. Not one. Couldn't even find them online. And now I'm dreaming about them. Sigh.

 

I had a similar dream! I've found two. A third is apparently on its way.

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I have about 2 1/2 bottles of disinfecting cleaner and I was able to buy paper towels yesterday. I can use those. I also have a spray that I am unsure if it actually disinfects air (doubtful) but I did buy one small and one larger HEPA air purifiers. Hand soap was low at Walmart but I have enough to last about a week to 10 days.

 

I will make one more trip out tomorrow to try to find wipes and spray and hand soap and then I will have to give up until after my move.

 

I am trying to come up with a plan to disinfect my floors for my cat. I'll keep her in the bathroom until the movers leave, then I have to disinfect the linoleum in the kitchen and back door area, then I have to pull up the plastic sheeting from the carpet before I let her out. I would hate for her to get sick! But she also can't get any disinfectant on her paws because she licks them. I would imagine she faces a bigger threat from the disinfectant than from the small possibility the movers will track the virus in on their shoes.

 

I have plastic for my furniture so I will just peel that off and then wipe down everything that was possibly exposed. I'll probably be up quite late trying to get everything disinfected!

 

Sore throat, congestion and headache are back. Spring time in the desert!

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Had some Dinty Moore beef stew. It was good! So far today, had a glass of Ovaltine, a Pop Tart and a bowl of the stew. Going for seconds now.

 

I realized something...the movers will be wearing gloves and masks and will only be handling my things, so I think I don't need to worry about their hands. Still need to disinfect the floor after they leave, but that's less than having to disinfect EVERYTHING. It makes me feel a bit better.

 

Some perspective...I watch You Tube videos that a young man who lives in Queens, NYC posts. He was riding his bike down 5th Avenue and recorded several homeless people. I saw one of them digging through the trash, presumably looking for food. It's got to be real desperation and hunger that would motivate someone to dig through trash during a pandemic. That really gave me a slap in the face. Like, yeah, I am anxious and fearful and I think it's OK to feel that way but I am not even close to dealing with what that poor man is facing. I am actually a lot luckier than many others. That doesn't mean my anxiety and fear disappeared because it didn't, but it did give me a different viewpoint.

 

I donated to World Central Kitchen and Three Square Food Bank and gave a homeless man in my city $5. It's not going to save the world but maybe I helped a few people. Once I receive funds that should hit my bank Tuesday I will donate again.

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Really love reading your posts, Nebraska. I especially love the part above about under-reacting, empowerment and dialogue above. That resonates with me also as I do feel interconnected with everyone and everything despite how strange our world has become. Glad you are feeling good and connecting spiritually too. Not woo woo at all. I think it's great.

 

Thank you, Rose Mosse! :-)

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So, it seems the anxiety spikes in the morning and stays high until late afternoon. I don't know if it's because of low blood sugar from not eating while sleeping or something else. I have always been a "night person". I am more productive and industrious in the evening.

 

I got the moving helpers to confirm they will wear masks and gloves. The one in my new state said it's already their policy, but the one in my current state had to be asked. But they agreed. They will be loading the truck at 9 am so it's not like it will be excessively hot. I have extras if they don't bring their own!

 

One of my kids is going to keep my cat for a couple of days. Such a relief! She can be there instead of closed up in the bathroom while the movers are working and I can disinfect without worrying about accidentally poisoning her.

 

Two more days to pack up. I need to be at 85% before bed tonight. Then the last 15% tomorrow.

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wish we had some health cleanup softwares that could get rid of all this insomnia and anxiety related faults in us, update your defender mechanism signatures run a scan and voila...

someday we will have digital copy of us living on this planet forever

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I can see why this virus is spreading so easily. I am getting the oil changed in my car. One woman coughing, no mask. Worker changes the bathroom trash and doesn't change his gloves before handling paperwork or using the computer. Manager not wearing mask or gloves.Guy working on the cars getting into them with no mask or gloves. I am petrified.

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I can see why this virus is spreading so easily. I am getting the oil changed in my car. One woman coughing, no mask. Worker changes the bathroom trash and doesn't change his gloves before handling paperwork or using the computer. Manager not wearing mask or gloves.Guy working on the cars getting into them with no mask or gloves. I am petrified.

 

Wipe down your car before you get in.

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Wipe down your car before you get in.

 

Got any wipes?

 

I did bring a bottle of Fantastik disinfecting spray and some paper towels and also the can of air cleaner (not sure if it's disinfecting so I'm assuming it's not) so I wiped some things down like the steering wheel, ignition, door handles and gear shift. He left the plastic in the car that was supposed to protect the seat and floor but it was all bunched up. Luckily bathroom-trash-don't-change-gloves guy didn't check me out. I RAN to the other guy and asked him to check me out. When I got home I opened the car windows, sprayed Fantastik again on the seats and floor (forgot the dash, darn it). My car is sitting until tomorrow morning so it should be aired out by then. Gas tank is on fumes, I forgot I had to drive it in the morning to pick up the rental truck. I guess I'll be getting up at 5:30 am instead of 6 am :( to go buy gas.

 

I realized I will not have everything packed up by tomorrow morning. I am coming back Friday to get my car and I will pack whatever I can, then the rest is just going to have to be donated. I own a ridiculous amount of stuff. It's really stupid how much stuff I have.

 

Ugh...then once I'm moved I have to go to work in a location that has had at least 3 cases and one death. Not sure that's going to lessen my anxiety!

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Thanks ladies!

 

It made me so angry to see those people with zero regard for others' safety, particular the shop's manager. He had no mask and was getting right up close to both customers and his employees. The lady coughing could have stepped outside, but no, she chose to share her saliva with everyone in the waiting area. And the guy who changed out the bathroom trash bag and didn't even change his gloves, then went right back to using the computer and was handing people their paperwork! Just gross.

 

If it wasn't so windy (25 mph sustained, 35 mpg gusts) I would have just waited outside. But my car needed to be looked at, I always have the oil changed and the tires and fluids checked before I have to drive alone across the desert.

 

I'm trying to get as much packed as possible today. I really don't want to have to make more than one trip back here since it's close to 600 miles round trip.

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Last official night in my home, not counting the one night I'll be here to get my car. My poor cat is so confused, although I am a frequent mover. I think this is her 9th move with me! Poor kitty.

 

I hope I can sleep. I need to drive the moving truck almost 300 miles.

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