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physical relationship with much younger man


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Is it considered weird for a forty five year old woman to have a physical relationship with a twenty one year old man? I live with him and I know he is sexually active with other girls his age. I'm just not sure if I can be in a relationship with him or not, or if I should just keep it strictly sex, I'm just a little confused right now since we had sex for the first time two days ago and it's been a little awkward especially with his "girlfriends" around.

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It seems like this situation is making you feel uncomfortable. Weird, not sure, confused and awkward are not words I'd use to describe something that's making you feel good or something that you feel good about. If it doesn't make you feel good, why do it? I hope you are not under any pressure to perform any sexual acts and your living situation doesn't depend on you seeing him.

 

For what it's worth, I wouldn't suggest continuing on anything that doesn't make you feel good. You deserve to feel better than that or be around someone who makes you feel better than that.

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He doesn't see you as relationship material. Even if he does, an age gap that big would soon expose a whole world of differences between you and his comparative immaturity will begin to show (I speak from experience). Why do you want to have sex with someone young enough to be your son, who you know full well is also having sex with women his own age? If you're his landlord things could get really messy - look for someone your own age to have sex with and keep this lad as a tenant and nothing more.

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It’s not weird to have consenting sex with another adult no matter the age.

 

What is weird is that you mention the word relationship when it’s not even in his vocabulary.

 

He is having his cake and eating it. Thinking you are cool to fk and cool that he does others. While you stay in Your room alone lol

 

Why are you living with a guy half your age who really just thinks a hole is a hole?

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Are you his mother? Why does he live with you?

Is it considered weird for a forty five year old woman to have a physical relationship with a twenty one year old man? I live with him
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Nothing wrong to have sex with someone much younger.

 

But if you wonder whether you should have a relationship with him or not that is the BIG problem. It's like you refuse to see what's in front of you: a man who's sleeping around and enjoys multiple partners and more importantly who doesn't even offer you the possibility of a relationship. So why even wonder if you could be with him? Do you want to change him? Transform him in a mature man who will take you on a date?

 

Do you want a relationship? If that's the case put yourself in a position to have a Healthy one: stop seeing this guy since you are developing feelings which will make the situation even messier ( the girlfriends , sharing a place together etc) and start looking for eligible man that meet your criteria for a boyfriend. And have criterias, not just he's cute, could we be together.

There are good guys out there but you won't meet them if you lose your time with the bad ones.

Good luck!

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Well...first of is you shouldn't be sleeping with your roommates. Yes, it can make life very very awkward and uncomfortable.

 

Second is that any kind of relationship isn't even an option. He is 21 year old kid in a candy store sowing wild oats and sleeping around. (hope you use protection and test for STI's regularly if you are going to continue to sleep with him). These other women are not girlfriends, OP, they are just a rotating stable of fck buddies.

 

When you use terms like relationship and girlfriends....you are probably not cut out emotionally for a strictly arm's length casual fck buddy situation, especially when who he is humping and how often is right in your face daily...or nightly..... When you have sex and immediately start thinking relationship and feeling awkward, stop what you are doing and seek out a man who can actually give you what you want - a proper relationship. This is for fun and giggles only, except that you aren't giggling because it's not your cup of tea really and is causing you stress instead.

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If he's living with you, why do you want someone bringing all kinds of girls into your place? Also, these are strangers and theft of your possessions is a possibility. If you're renting from him, why haven't you sought out renting by yourself or with another woman who shares your idea of what a good roommate would be? If you're going to live your life like you're in a raunchier version of the sitcom Friends, that's what your life will be like--full of problems and ridiculous situations.

 

What are your relationship goals? Would you like a longterm relationship with someone or not? If so, why not set your life up for that likelihood? FWB's are meant to be very short term, and never turn out free and easy. If you're already concerned enough to be writing on a forum about it, a FWB, especially with someone young enough to be your son, doesn't sound like it would suit you.

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No lol I'm not his mother, I'm just helping him out and I rented him the extra room, that is a much longer story and It was me who pressured him into doing it. It happened one more time because I basically begged him and I know sex isn't everything but it was the best I ever had and I'm just reluctant to give that up because of an age gap. And yes I'm using protection.

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Has he shown any indication that he wants to be in a relationship with you?

 

I ask only because this sounds like it's just about sex and he didn't pursue you or show any interest of his own (you pressured him).

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If you just lookin to has some good ol' sex, then I don't know what more there is talk about...carry on, and enjoy it while it lasts. You are not dating or anything, he's just crawling into yer bed to smash.

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Why do you wanna be with him though if you can be with men your own age? I understand a 21-year-old is an adult but the age gap is so big. I'm 35 and I still cringe at the idea of hooking up with a 21-year-old! And you are ten years older than me. I doubt he would want a relationship with you. You are probably his Mum's age. No offence..

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