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Is there any chance of us getting back together?


banksy

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I (M17) dated this girl (18), my first girlfriend, and her first boyfriend, for about 10 months before my mental health started declining pretty quickly. She was amazing, we never argued once, she loved me for who I was and I loved her, but at the time, I didn't know what to do, panicked and broke up with her. This was after some back and forth where I tried to leave but she wouldn't let me, and I wouldn't leave because I didn't want to but felt like I needed to. Eventually after breaking up finally, while in the car talking she kissed me on lips before she left. I eventually got on meds for depression and anxiety about 2 weeks later, which she knew about, and asked her to give me another chance. She said yes, but said shed need to think about it but we continued to talk pretty frequently throughout that. A couple of days in some things happened and I realized that I really just couldn't be in a relationship and told her this. She responded well, told me that she'd been trying to tell me that I need to work on myself and that we could be friends with no communication. I really appreciate having her in my life in any way although I never wanted for any of this to happen and am still in love with her. This was about 2 months ago and while I know that I shouldn't have a texted her telling her I loved her and more, asked if I could get one more chance. She said that she was happy with the time we had together but thought it'd be best if we were friends, and that we both should focus on ourselves. Is there any chance of getting together in the future?

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Nobody can honestly tell you the answer to that, time will tell. In the meantime leave her be, and work on getting yourself sorted out. At 17 you will have plenty of time for other girls in your life, the first girl you date is not likely to be the one you stay with forever, given your age.

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Try focusing on yourself for now and get through the next 4-6 weeks. It won't be easier but time will take a bit of the edge off. I don't recommend staying friends or checking on each others' social media for the next few months until you find the root cause of your anxiety and depression.

 

Do you have any history of anxiety and depression or do you know of any immediate family members with anxiety and depression? Take care of yourself and monitor your thoughts and emotions while on your meds. Some meds may also have adverse effects or side effects. If you have triggers or issues that trigger your anxiety and depression start practicing better lifestyle choices and make decisions that are good for you overall.

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I feel this is just one of those life's lessons. This was your first, but it won't be your last. Relationships and experiences will come and go for years to come. This teaches you, as you change with maturity, what your needs are, your priorities, and goals...what works and what doesn't work. This prepares you for marriage. That's why dating is so important. She has learned from this too....she's figure out self worth, and that she let her whole world revolve around you...not good. I suspect she wants to explore her independence, and want you to do the same...that you two are just not ready for something so serious and intense. Coming at her with how much you lover her and whatnot is weakness. If you want to revisit any kind of possible relationship with her in the future, you need to be independent and confident in yourself...that's what she is telling you to focus on. Gobbling down meds is not going fixing this, it's only a start. You have a bit of a road to travel before you are ready.

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I'm sorry to hear about what happened but maybe the timing just wasn't right. You love this girl so I don't think you would have broken up with her unless you had very good reason to do that. You can't help having your mental health struggles. If deep down you felt you can't be in a relationship, then you knew what's right for you. Your number one priority should be to get treatments for your mental health and focus on getting better. This can be a long process so this girl is probably moving on and won't be sitting there waiting for you. But you have your whole life ahead of you and you will meet more girls and fall in love again. I know it's hard to forget your first love but it won't be your last. I'm 35 so I speak from experience lol

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