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Too Many Changes In A Year, Just Venting...


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It’s time to share as it may help with my precarious state of mind and emotions.

 

Background: my son left for the US Navy in Feb 2019, my ex-husband left our home in October 2019, we are now sheltering in place, and my beloved Boss announced he is resigning, last day May 25.

 

2 weeks ago, my Dad called me saying the ex-husband called him from out of the blue, just to ask how he is doing. Prior to this, they never communicated like that. No text, no phone calls. To me it was odd, but I left it alone. It was, I think, no longer my business. I have decided to cut communications with him completely because we have nothing “conjugal”. I felt like I can heal better that way. We had a history of on and off relationship for 4 years and always, we go back to each other and the cycle repeats. This time I am just so done and ready to move on. Being told “I don’t love you and will never love you” was a repeated language I heard through the years of being with him, I am convinced nothing I can do will ever change that. The only challenge I have right now is his desire to remain in my family’s circle. My family respectfully try not mention in conversations with me, but there are times they do. On Mother’s Day, he personally delivered food that my daughter in Manila requested be ordered for me. Thank you for being nice. That’s it.

 

A week ago, my Boss announced he was leaving which triggered extreme sadness and again, hopelessness. I work in the public sector where it is hard for projects to come by without much politics. I am losing a Boss that I learned a lot from and considered my friend. A sadness that is so unfamiliar swept all over me and now random tears throughout the day. I am struggling.

 

I am not sure how to cope with the many changes anymore.

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Chelly, you can cope. When one door closes, another usually opens.

 

It sounds like you still carry around unresolved feelings for your ex husband; otherwise, his contact with your parents wouldn't bother you. He is past tense. Ancient history. If he's doing nice things for your family, you should just think of it as kindness and not an ulterior motive.

 

As for your boss, maybe resigning is a very positive thing for him. You will always carry his lessons in your heart. Count yourself lucky to have worked with him for as long as you did.

 

All of this lockdown stuff will end soon, and life for all of us will come back better than before.

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It sounds like you still carry around unresolved feelings for your ex husband; otherwise, his contact with your parents wouldn't bother you. He is past tense. Ancient history. If he's doing nice things for your family, you should just think of it as kindness and not an ulterior motive.

 

I admit, I do. But I assure you, am working so hard on them. I journal, I joined Divorce Care, I see a therapist. Im still angry but am not actively pursuing an outlet, simply praying it will go away in time.

 

Thank you wonderful people. I wish these can just magically disappear. 😔

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I hear ya...in the last few years people that I have worked with for almost 30 years, either retired, or quit, and other staff that I really relied on, left the job. I'm not talking 2 or 3, but 10+ people. I know some of the emptiness/sadness you must be feeling, plus the uncertainty of the job. Change can be hard that's for sure. Everyone is right tho, we eventually all adjust to a life without these people that have been with us for a long time. I hope you find something that brings you some comfort/happiness. Hang in there!

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