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Grateful to still be here


cmf1011

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It’s been quite a while since the last time I posted on here and I thought it would beneficial to someone else to talk I’ve been through and experienced in the past 8 months to a year. It’s been a full year since my bf/fiancé of almost 5 years left me, he messed with me all summer, and then dropped a bomb on me that he decided to start dating someone new despite the week prior he told me he missed me, my voice etc. At that point I decided to cut him off, which I did successfully for 3 months. I went on a journey within myself that I hope I never have to go through again, but I’m glad I did. I had some really bad moments where I really didn’t want to be alive, and all I could think about was how much better it would be if I wasn’t here. I owe a lot of my growth to my friends, they really held me together when I felt like I had nothing left. But nonetheless I still pushed myself everyday to make this life what I want, and not to ever shape myself to how some else wants me to be. I’m so grateful to still be here and it is so interesting how the tables have turned. My ex tried to come back several times because he isn’t over me, he broke up with the girl he started dating for me, HE EVEN GOT A TATTOO ABOUT ME. I blocked him on everything I could think of. As for my dating life, things are really good. I’ve been seeing a guy I’ve know for quite literally half of my life and always had a crush on. Though we aren’t dating cause neither of us are looking for something serious, it’s really nice to take the time to build a connection with someone again and just see where it goes. He’s very nice to me and the best part, he’s extremely honest and upfront which is so refreshing.

 

I wouldn’t go as far as saying I don’t think about my ex. Cause I definitely do, I do hope he is okay and making the best choices for himself, but I do know for a fact I don’t want him in my life. I have love for him, because you can’t just stop having love for someone you were dating for that long. But i can say I’ve moved on successfully and nothing feels better.

 

The only way out is through. And once you get there you won’t ever want to go back. I promise you that. Let your friends be there for you when you need it. Don’t be like me and hold everything to yourself so you seem strong, talk about how you feel and listen to what people have to say even if you might not like it. I thought I would never ever get through, but I see I’m worth so much more than what I thought I was worth. You are too. Don’t let dishonest/toxic people get in the way of that. You got it, you do. You really do. A year from now things can be totally different, but the only way to get there is to NOT give up.

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@bignomis Trust me you will!! It takes a long time and it’s something have to work on day in and day out. Just remember don’t be too harsh on yourself, you’re going through a really hard time in life. Also remember, you aren’t alone because there is always someone going through the same as you

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Good to hear a success story.

I blocked him on everything I could think of. As for my dating life, things are really good. I’ve been seeing a guy I’ve know for quite literally half of my life and always had a crush on. Though we aren’t dating cause neither of us are looking for something serious, it’s really nice to take the time to build a connection with someone again and just see where it goes.
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