TikTok Challenge

[SherrySher]

I recently saw a video that was a compilation of TikTok's. There was a challenge for anyone who had a best friend of the opposite sex. If you happened to have a secret crush on them, TikTok wanted you to attempt to kiss them and see what happened.

 

This is what really bothered me. Firstly, some outcomes were great. Whether it was the guy or girl attempting the kiss, it was very well received and some of them even ended up dating and being very happy.

BUT, some of the kisses were not welcomed.

 

The men pushed the women away, but not in a nasty, mean way, more or less just to let them know they weren't into it.

However, some of the women were much more brutal, they full on slapped the men.

 

It really bothered me.

I am the mother of a son. I don't feel it's okay for women to haul off and hit whenever they please.

This was not a stranger, they were not threatened or attacked. This was their best friend and it was a kiss.

Yes, not all were welcomed, but would it not make more sense to say "no" or to gently push away rather than to full on slap?

 

We always teach women that it's never okay for a man to hit you.So why is it so accepted for women to slap and no one says a word?

All of those women on TikTok that responded by hitting, should be ashamed of themselves. You have no right to hit!!

What would people say had it been the other way around and the men were full on slapping the women? No doubt there would be assault charges!

 

If you're being attacked, yes, protect yourself and hit. But it's not okay to just hit whenever you feel like it.

 

Others opinions on this?

[Wiseman2]

TikTok is mostly teens, and there are a host of everything from silly to dangerous internet challenges including eating detergent etc.

 

"The Role of Social Media

Social media rewards outrageous behavior, and the more outrageous, the bigger the bragging rights. It’s a quick moving, impulsive environment, and the fear of losing out is real for teens. That environment plays into a teen’s underdeveloped ability to think through their actions and possible consequences. Teens won’t necessarily stop to consider that laundry detergent is a poison that can burn their throats and damage their airways. What they will focus on is that a popular kid in class did this and got hundreds of likes and comments."

[Seraphim]

It is wrong to hit unless of course you are defending your own life or someone else’s.

[SherrySher]

The Role of Social Media

Social media rewards outrageous behavior, and the more outrageous, the bigger the bragging rights. It’s a quick moving, impulsive environment, and the fear of losing out is real for teens. That environment plays into a teen’s underdeveloped ability to think through their actions and possible consequences. Teens won’t necessarily stop to consider that laundry detergent is a poison that can burn their throats and damage their airways. What they will focus on is that a popular kid in class did this and got hundreds of likes and comments."

 

No doubt you're right, Wiseman, but what a sad commentary on our times.

[SherrySher]

It just angered me how these girls were slapping guy after guy and people were finding it funny instead of not realizing how messed up it was.

 

I'm not on TikTok, I seen the video on FB. But yeah, loads of comments on people finding it hilarious.

[Seraphim]

However ,they would not find it hilarious if he hauled off and smacked her back.

[SherrySher]

However ,they would not find it hilarious if he hauled off and smacked her back

 

Exactly.

 

It's so wrong how society accepts a woman slapping a man but not a man slapping a woman. If someone slapped my son, I'd be on the warpath!

[Seraphim]

Exactly.

 

It's so wrong how society accepts a woman slapping a man but not a man slapping a woman. If someone slapped my son, I'd be on the warpath!

Me too. My brother was physically assaulted by his ex-wife. He never touched her back as he’s more peaceloving than I am. But that is the day he left and never went back.

[bluecastle]

Unfortunate stuff, no doubt, on so many levels. Along with perpetuating the idea that it's okay for women to slap men, I find myself frustrated by what else the viral little experiment perpetuates: the idea that men and women can't truly be friends—that, odds are, there is a "secret crush" fueling the artifice of friendship, maybe requited, maybe not.

[j.man]

There have been some credible studies that suggest women may in fact be more likely to engage in violence within an intimate relationship than men are. Not at all to distract from how women are much more statistically affected in terms of significant harm and, more unfortunately, deaths within a domestic environment. But it indeed is a pervasive issue. Having been hit by a girlfriend before, it was and is an instant deal-breaker, even if just a slap.

 

Not sure how strongly I'd link it with social media shenanigans, but I do think it's just as advantageous to teach girls not to hit boys as it is the other way around. If not for the basic ethic of not laying your hands on people, then for the possibility that what many might see as a socially benign slap is responded to in kind, or worse.

 

Granted I haven't seen any of the TikToks. I do think-- whether or not the girls / women should-- a guy deserves a slap if he actually kisses them without their consent. But yeah, smacking someone for going in slow and leaving the possibility for a rejection isn't funny, especially if it's someone familiar and otherwise harmless to you. And I do think you're right that it probably speaks to something if so many girls / women are reflexively responding that way in the videos.

[Jibralta]

Social media rewards outrageous behavior, and the more outrageous, the bigger the bragging rights.

 

Sensationalism.

 

Seems to be our culture. At least in America. I mean, it's the same with the news media.

 

We are fed snippets the most extreme situations, without any idea of the background and the full story. They are replayed over and over again with hyper-focused commentary. You would think nothing else is going on in the world.

 

Various celebrities and politicians are followed around and made fun of. And people--ADULTS--love it. Most seem to believe that celebrities and politicians deserve this treatment because they enjoy publicity. Meanwhile, nobody is connecting the behavior that the media is modelling with the supposedly big bullying problem that is ongoing in schools.

 

Ratings, baby.

[melancholy123]

I dont believe for a minute that it is ok for anyone to hit anyone. This sounds like yet another stupid show with immature people acting out for the camera.

 

I have a 32 yr old son and I would never be ok with him hitting anyone.

[HeartGoesOn]

I agree with it's never ok to hit anyone, however a man has much more strength than a woman, and can cause more damage. Of course, that's a different topic for a different day. JMO...

 

Either way, I have no idea how "Tic Tok" works.

[Wiseman2]

TikTok is a Chinese video-sharing social networking service. It is used to create short dance, lip-sync, comedy and talent videos.

I have no idea how "Tic Tok" works.

 

"In the United States, 52% of TikTok users are iPhone users. While TikTok has a neutral gender-bias format, 44% of TikTok users are female while 56% are male. TikTok's geographical use has shown that 43% of new users are from India. TikTok has proven to attract the younger generation, as 41% of its users are between the ages of 16 and 24. Among these TikTok users, 90% say they use the app on a daily basis."

[itsallgrand]

I'm having troubles adding a link. Haven't had success with it here for a while?

Anyways, just search TikTok as there's other controversy surrounding it. They've been accused of data mining without consent. Lots of articles if anyone is interested.

[HeartGoesOn]

Thank you, Wiseman and IAG.

[greendots]

Violence is not acceptable.

 

To be honest, I'm amazed at how many challenges are absolute nonsense; yet, they've got heaps of followers. Thinking is apparently too much work, lol! In fact, there was a meme saying: "If they had called it the 'Stay at Home Challenge' and posted it on Facebook, the virus would be gone by now."

[anadybella]

I love funny videos, whatover...

[FlirtingIsHell]

First off completely agree with you on this whole TikTok stuff, some things on that app can be just so anger inducing lol.

 

Secondly hi! I’m glad to see you’re still active on this website after all these years. Why do I say that? Well 3 years ago you responded to a post about a high school sophomore nervous about asking out his crush. You reassured him that no matter what her answer would be it would still be worth taking the chance. If you haven’t already picked up on it that kid was me! And your advice was absolutely correct, as I eventually did find the courage to ask my crush out and she actually said yes! Fast forward and we’ve been going strong almost 3 years now and are looking to move in together soon!

 

I would link you the post but it won’t let me but if you’re curious I’m sure you could find it on my profile.

 

I just wanted to thank you and to let you know that the advice you give people on here matters. Though you and the other commenters were just a small part of our love story you helped a young and confused boy find his courage, and for that both me and the love of my life will be forever grateful.

[SherrySher]

First off completely agree with you on this whole TikTok stuff, some things on that app can be just so anger inducing lol.

 

Secondly hi! I’m glad to see you’re still active on this website after all these years. Why do I say that? Well 3 years ago you responded to a post about a high school sophomore nervous about asking out his crush. You reassured him that no matter what her answer would be it would still be worth taking the chance. If you haven’t already picked up on it that kid was me! And your advice was absolutely correct, as I eventually did find the courage to ask my crush out and she actually said yes! Fast forward and we’ve been going strong almost 3 years now and are looking to move in together soon!

 

I would link you the post but it won’t let me but if you’re curious I’m sure you could find it on my profile.

 

I just wanted to thank you and to let you know that the advice you give people on here matters. Though you and the other commenters were just a small part of our love story you helped a young and confused boy find his courage, and for that both me and the love of my life will be forever grateful.

 

I read this, and I swear I sat in amazement for a few moments and then got choked up. You are a very sweet person to not only come back and update but to say words I will never forget.

I joined this site in hopes to help people, but you never really know. 90% of the time posters leave and you never hear an update and it'a rare to have anyone say thank you or tell you if you made any kind of difference. So your words meant a great deal to me.

 

Secondly, I am so happy for you. You always had a strong heart in you, you just had to believe in yourself and in the courage and strength you possessed and will always possess.

You are a good human being with a good heart.

I will always keep my fingers crossed for both you and your girlfriend, and I will always hope for the best for both of you. You both deserve happiness and love.

 

I hope you will come back and update when you can. Once again, thank you for being you. Your words really touched me.

[FenixReborn]

While I agree that no one should be hitting or slapping someone else, I'm of the mindset that this "challenge" was just begging for that to happen. The whole setup is taking two people who are not in a relationship and having one make a physical/sexual move on the other. Given how common unwanted sexual attention is for women, I don't blame a woman for always being on guard. Actually, I kind of like that they are standing up for themselves, even if it's not how I would have done it. "Me Too" wasn't that long ago. Men (or women) should not be encouraged to do things that in any way can be interpreted as harassment. Even if there was no harm meant by the challenge, how is the other person suppose to know that? All they see is this guy they thought they trusted invading their personal space for a kiss they didn't want. If you have a crush on a friend, their are plenty of better and safer ways of letting them know.

 

It's crazy how so many stupid and sometimes dangerous ideas spread. A little foresight could deal people these ideas will lead to trouble. I'll never get any of this "social media" stuff.

[SherrySher]

I don't agree with you.

 

These are people they are quite close to, they are in a safe environment and it's a kiss for god sakes, he's not attacking her.

 

Slapping and hitting isn't warranted. It's done for drama sake to get more clicks on the video or maybe there are just women out there who think they have a right to hit.

 

But female abuse towards a man is a REAL thing. Men rarely report it. I don't care who you are, keep your hands to yourself.

[Spawn]

tiktok is not at all good for mental health infact many such apps need to be banned forever lol :)

some of the videos are so abusive it might cause serious damage to the people viewing them

it has grown so much that they use compliance tools to identify abusive stuff and block it but its too late as many would have viewed it by then.

[SherrySher]

Well, I guess my post wasn't about Tiktok per se. But rather the one sidedness that exists when it comes to it being okay for women to slap men, but not the other way around.

 

I wonder why this seems to be more accepting in society? It really does bother me.

[Spawn]

Slapping itself is an act of abuse nothing is ok about it.

The person who slaps needs to be educated regarding mental well being, walking away from conflicts, self control etc.