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Okay, so i am leaving my job due to my crush toward one of my younger co-worker. He is 32 and i am 40. God, this love is horrible. I am married, has kids, why i must fall in love with this younger boy?. We have been working about 18 months together and during that time we never talk except say hi but i think we know that we like each other. I felt like a teenager again when i saw him the first time, my heart was beating and i could not talk once we close to each other. I could ask his number to my other co worker but i refuse since i dont want this thing go far. I know we dont have future. I told my husband clearly that i stay in the marriage just for the sake of the kids because i already exhausted about me taking care of his own kids from his ex wife, beside we have different principal about financial management.

 

But even my marriage break, i never wanna bring my crush into my future life because i dont wanna put anybody in "step parent" position like i have now.

 

It's just i feel suffocated holding back this feeling inside my heart by myself. So, on the day that i quit from work, i got his phone number and he gave me a hug. Once i home, i texted him and we were like old friend longing for each other, we talk about our feeling and i found out that he has the same feeling with me but in the end, i reminded him that i have family. I rejected his idea about having a date.

 

When i talked to him i just wanna release all my burden in my chest about what i feel to him. Dont wanna put him in trouble, i suggested him to use chat app instead of regular messaging service because i dont want my husband one day find out about his existence then will cause trouble toward him.

 

Then suddenly he said to forget about everything he said on the texts, he said he was just boring because of the Quarantine's stuffs. I feel so hurt and just wanna cry. I can not have him, can he at least be my listener about the stuffs in my heart that caused by his existence? I can not be mad, i just hurt more inside.

 

I keep sending messages to him (maybe about 5 long messages) talking about how i feel about him and i just stop after i realize that he might just dont wanna talk to me and maybe he was lying about his feeling toward me. Maybe he was right, he was just boring that is why he just got involve with my conversation about my feeling. Now i regret why i contact him after i was doing good by leaving without saying any words for the past 18 months.

 

Now, i dont know why i writting this thing here. Maybe i still wanna talk this so my heart is a little ease. Thank you for reading.

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You really need to leave this guy alone. Block and delete him from your phone and any social media. You are married and should be working on your marriage not lusting after some guy you used to work with. You seem to be pestering him now and it's past time to stop that.

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He's too young for you.

 

You are making this out to be some kind of huge fantasy only because you are not happy in your marriage. But you're making yourself look a fool to this guy.

 

You need to stop. He has told you he's not interested. Please save yourself some more embarrassment and stop contacting him.

At this point, you need to proceed with a divorce.

Your husband does not deserve to be with a cheater.

 

ps: What you're feeling is lust, not love. Huge difference.

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I can not have him, can he at least be my listener about the stuffs in my heart that caused by his existence? I can not be mad, i just hurt more inside.

 

No, he can't, and he's made it pretty clear he doesn't want to be your listener either. That's not his job.

 

Stop trying to contact him now, OP. He had second thoughts about getting involved with a married woman and rightly cut it off. You need to address the problems in your marriage and not go poking around outside of it. You are going to regret doing so if you keep it up.

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He was having a bit of fun flirting with a married woman , saying things he doesn’t mean (flirting) , until it all got boring and you offloading all your drama onto him.

 

He was only interested in flirting , not long drawn out messages about your pitiful marriage.

He is not a counsellor and has no desire to be one.

 

But might be ok with having a saucy fling with an unfulfilled married woman , no strings attached.

 

You quickly let him know that sex wasn’t on the cards , so he left.

 

Do you want to fix your marriage or get out? Decide which?

If you want out , don’t entertain the idea of another man until you are a year divorced.

 

Good luck!

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Make an appointment with a physician for an evaluation. Make sure you are healthy with regard to metabolic and other systems. Perhaps you are having midlife emotional or physical changes.

 

Also make an appointment with a therapist, just for yourself and an appt for a marriage therapist. This has nothing to do with finding a coworker attractive. However thinking there is a love affair going on indicates some health investigations may be in order.

 

i am leaving my job due to my crush toward one of my. why i must fall in love with this younger boy?

 

But even my marriage break.

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Block and delete him! You must stop, as this is harassment and a fantasy you have built in your head. He does not care!

 

You are not helping your kids by staying in an unhappy marriage. You need to seek an attorney so that you can end it.

 

Leave this guy alone! He is probably sharing your messages with people st work.

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He's too young for you.

 

You are making this out to be some kind of huge fantasy only because you are not happy in your marriage. But you're making yourself look a fool to this guy.

 

You need to stop. He has told you he's not interested. Please save yourself some more embarrassment and stop contacting him.

At this point, you need to proceed with a divorce.

Your husband does not deserve to be with a cheater.

 

ps: What you're feeling is lust, not love. Huge difference.

 

You dont know about my husband. I way too good for him. I can not explain everything to you but i dont like you calling me that my husband doesnt deserve to be with a cheater. If it was a lust, i would flirt with him while i was working with him. Instead, i save and hold everything back inside even i reminded him and myself that i am married when he talk about dating.

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No, he can't, and he's made it pretty clear he doesn't want to be your listener either. That's not his job.

 

Stop trying to contact him now, OP. He had second thoughts about getting involved with a married woman and rightly cut it off. You need to address the problems in your marriage and not go poking around outside of it. You are going to regret doing so if you keep it up.

 

I did stop contacting him. I know i embarras myself with this feeling, i tried to control and hold it, so that i choose to quit working with him.

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He was having a bit of fun flirting with a married woman , saying things he doesn’t mean (flirting) , until it all got boring and you offloading all your drama onto him.

 

He was only interested in flirting , not long drawn out messages about your pitiful marriage.

He is not a counsellor and has no desire to be one.

 

But might be ok with having a saucy fling with an unfulfilled married woman , no strings attached.

 

You quickly let him know that sex wasn’t on the cards , so he left.

 

Do you want to fix your marriage or get out? Decide which?

If you want out , don’t entertain the idea of another man until you are a year divorced.

 

Good luck!

 

He might be as you said. It is sad and i might fall for the wrong person. I feel like always fall for wrong guy. I didnt mean and i did not have any purpose to like or to love anybody including him. I just wanted to work when i enter the job in the same place with him.

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Block and delete him! You must stop, as this is harassment and a fantasy you have built in your head. He does not care!

 

You are not helping your kids by staying in an unhappy marriage. You need to seek an attorney so that you can end it.

 

Leave this guy alone! He is probably sharing your messages with people st work.

 

I know he doesnt care. I just not as good as other about resisting my own feeling when i like somebody.

Doing work with attorney as not easy as i thought. I am in position not to pay counselor nor attorney. One time i applied for free legal advice from government but they didnt do much about it.

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You dont know about my husband. I way too good for him. I can not explain everything to you but i dont like you calling me that my husband doesnt deserve to be with a cheater. If it was a lust, i would flirt with him while i was working with him. Instead, i save and hold everything back inside even i reminded him and myself that i am married when he talk about dating.

 

You were emotionally cheating. Cheating is cheating.

 

You don't even know this guy. This all a fantasy, as you are not happy in your marriage.

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You were emotionally cheating. Cheating is cheating.

 

You don't even know this guy. This all a fantasy, as you are not happy in your marriage.

 

Even say that i emotionally cheating, it has nothing to do with my husband deserve to be with me or not.

I dont think it has something to do with my marriage, because i never interact with my crush, i never share anything with him apart from just work in the same place. I dont get a special treatment from him that make me think twice about my marriage.

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Your husband does deserve better. I am certain he would not be okay with you cheating with this guy. It has everything to do with your husband, I do not understand how you can justify your actions.

 

You did create a big fantasy in your head, though.

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Your husband does deserve better. I am certain he would not be okay with you cheating with this guy. It has everything to do with your husband, I do not understand how you can justify your actions.

 

You did create a big fantasy in your head, though.

 

if you knew him, you would think i am crazy coz i still in the marriage.

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He's not a therapist, doctor or marriage counselor. You need to pay someone to listen to your problems. No one wants someone dumping on them about their bad marriage, etc.

When i talked to him i just wanna release all my burden in my chest about what i feel to him. can he at least be my listener about the stuffs in my heart that caused by his existence?

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He's not a therapist, doctor or marriage counselor. You need to pay someone to listen to your problems. No one wants someone dumping on them about their bad marriage, etc.

i dont wanna talk about my marriage with him but about how i feel toward him.

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