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Ex super invested in my family


sammy29

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My ex broke up with me 5 months ago after about a year during which time he met my family 3/4 times. We bumped into each other in the street in early March and went for coffee and have been messaging very slowly ever since (replies every 48 hours or so). Anyway it was my Mum's birthday at the weekend and he messaged me twice on the day to say happy birthday and ask how her birthday was. He's also now asked me to pass on his birthday wishes too in a seperate message. From other interactions we've had e.g. immediately after the break up when he asked if my family hate him, he seems just disproportionately invested in what my family think of him and I don't understand why when they only met a few times? I guess maybe he just wants to be liked/ it's guilt? I don't know why but I'm finding this obsession with my mum (including messaging me about posts she makes and tags me in and stuff) really odd and idk how to feel/whether to say soemthing? Any thoughts?

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You need to block and dlete him ans all his people from all your messaging apps, social media, devices and contacts lists. He has a GF.

he reveals he is 'seeing someone' .Thing is three days ago he posted a load of photos with his new girlfriend (something he never did with me) and its become clear they've been together since about a month after the breakup and are much more serious than I realised.
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You're so upset about him that you're posting on a forum. The contact with him isn't working for your benefit. He takes 48 hours to respond to you? Sounds like you're the one putting in most of the effort. Delete and block so you can begin day 1 of closure.

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Yes three threads in the "getting back together" section. You don't want to hear it's over block him. You are looking for that one tidbit that states 'yes, this means he'll dump her and he's still in love with you and coming back". Sadly, however he is just doing the "nice' thing people do after breakups which is often the friendzone. Scale way back. Hanging in the wings wishing and hoping does not command much respect.

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You and your ex should sever all contact. For diplomacy's sake, let him know that it's unhealthy to maintain contact and that it's time to go your separate ways. Make sure he honors and respects your request. If he's relentless, ignore, ghost, block and delete.

 

Whenever there's a dissolved relationship, you have to learn to make a clean break, make a real, permanent exit and completely move on without that former person in your life. Don't have ties to your past relationship anymore because it's dead.

 

It's similar to divorce. Former in-laws no longer intersect nor mingle because there is no more "US."

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