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I've become afraid of intimacy


Confusedgal5

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I've been in a committed relationship with my partner for 3 years now, and am meer weeks away from giving birth to our first baby. However I have begun to notice that I become really uncomfortable in moments that should make me feel loved and connected.

 

I shy away from his gazes, I can't look him in the eye without feeling totally insecure. In moments when he is trying to be gentle and loving I begin to feel anxious and cut him short.

 

During sex it is most noticeable for me, I can't look at him incase he is watching me. I feel awkward and ugly - I can't stop thinking about the imperfections he might be looking at, I can't be present and I hate it. It only seems to be getting worse, and I don't know how to fix it. I would think it was just a part of being pregnant but it has gone on for longer than that.

 

I have no issue showing him love and affection, but when the attention is on me I am so uncomfortable. I never used to be this way, I have always been shy but I loved feeling like I was loved and wanted. It is almost like these days, I cut myself off from closeness and then become upset that we aren't connecting.

 

I think much of my problem stems from abusive relationships in the past, and abuse that I suffered in childhood. I just don't understand why these issues are presenting only now that I am with a beautiful, gentle man that loves me for me. If anyone can offer me some advice on how to move past this, and find a way to allow myself to be loved - I would appreciate it immensely.

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Sounds like you are becoming insecure about yourself and feeling less attractive. Do you find pregnant women unattractive? It could be helpful to find a good therapist and start counseling (which should also help with adjusting to being a new mom). Explore your self image and possible trauma from past abuse in counseling.

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