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Is this girl leading me on, or in denial?


Andyj88

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A Girl and I have been talking for 6 months. She was playing lots of games, and I called her out for it.

 

I want some insight on this weird situation I'm in. I've posted about this before and I finally let it out and called her out (not in a confrontational way), but told her why I was confused.

 

We were friends with benefits for about 2 months. She started sending mixed signals and was crossing boundaries. I was attracted to this girl but was able to control it until she started acting like she wanted more. (Started calling me her man to her friends and mine, saying we could be a thing if I asked her to hangout more, gets jealous about other girls I talk to/friends with, etc).

 

We tried being just friends, and kept talking daily almost all day. We ended up hooking up 4 more times after we said we wouldn't anymore, with her initiating it every Time and me letting it happen. She continued to ask questions about other girls and asked if me I was trying to make her jealous, and that other girls sounded like competition. I texted her one night about a week ago just saying how those things were confusing me, since we were only friends, and she said she only liked me as a friend. Her actions were contradicting, and it was making it hard for me to control my feelings basically.

 

She seemed to find new ways to cross boundaries, and honestly has no respect for my feelings at all. After that text conversation, we haven't talked much. She said she was saying those things as a joke which I thought was odd. Idk if she's mad,surprised I finally called her out, or what. We go to college together. She didn't come back to school since this quarantine is going on.

 

What should I do? I haven't reached out to her or anything. I kind of need a break honestly. Do I have a right to be as confused as i was? I've never dealt with this amount of mixed signals before. Just weird and draining.

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You're into her and she's not into you. Learn to cut off wishy-washy, runs hot and cold, mixed signals people as soon as you see those signs. You two have two different agendas so it will never work. All that time and energy you put into someone who doesn't want the same thing as you prevents you from seeking what you want from another woman who matches your dating goals. Isn't that clearcut advice that you probably have received before?

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Ok since there are no benefits and you're not friends or dating or even fwb, just let this die out. You seem to just be annoying each other. fwb is often a silly arrangement that ends in mixed messages and hurt feelings and lots of games, just like this. Start fresh, get on dating apps and start talking to other girls.

I haven't reached out to her or anything.
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I'm sorry, yah us girls can be pretty confusing.

 

I think she likes the idea of you liking her but isn't actually sure what she wants - at least that's what I think as a girl and I've seen it with some of my friends. Right now I think space might be good for both of you so she can figure out how she actually feels. I think the friends with benefits thing is hard because it can be hard to know where to draw the line but I think give it some space for now and see how you feel. Then once both of you are less confused, based on how you feel you can go from there.

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You are sleeping with this young woman and "trying to control your feelings" on one end and on her end, she is catching feelings? Dude, if you are trying to not have feelings, you are in denial because you keep sleeping with her. Either end things and don't talk ever again or go with it and let yourself be in a relationship and allow your feelings.

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I think she gets jealous about other girls because it's a natural emotion. People can still get jealous regarding their admirer or FWB, but that doesn't mean she has actual real feelings for you. She probably just wants you to admire only her and focus on her, for her own ego boost. I think when someone wants to be with you, it should be pretty simple. No games, no drama. That person would just want to date you and they would be upfront about how they felt about you. If something seems complicated then that's probably because that girl is not serious about you. Why don't you just end it and find someone else? You're obviously a sexy guy because she keeps coming back to get more D. Lol I'm sure you can meet someone else :)

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