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How will you react if husband's cheating partner contacts?


DonnaDaisy
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So, I had an affair with a married guy :(

His wife found out and now its really bad for both of them. She is deciding to leave him. Which is horrible.

I want to talk to her and tell her that she should not take such drastic steps and give him second chance. We both had no intentions of being together long term. It was like a fling and a big mistake. I feel horrible to have caused this to their family.

What would you do if you were this wife and get contacted from your husband's cheating partner.

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You're going to have to live with the fact now that you've destroyed a marriage and potentially destroyed another person due to your actions.

No doubt his wife is taking it very hard and is in a very bad place.

 

DO NOT contact her. You will only further cause damage. The very last person in the world she wants to hear from, is you.

 

You made terrible decisions, selfish ones and now not only do you have to live with it, but this couple does too, as does their family and friends and anyone that cares about them.

 

You've created a lot of upset.

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The regret and guilt is killing me. There has to be something I can do to make it any better :(

 

Unfortunately you can't change the past but you can take steps to prevent further damage. Leave her alone and avoid getting involved with married men in future.

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Sorry to hear this. It's not your call, whether she accepts his cheating or not. If he wanted to preserve his marriage he wouldn't have cheated. Stay out of their marriage and stay out of their business. Let them sort it out. There is no need for you to inflict more pain on her with your contact. She needs to sort this out with her husband, attorney, therapist, friends, family, etc.

I want to talk to her and tell her that she should not take such drastic steps and give him second chance. What would you do if you were this wife and get contacted from your husband's cheating partner.

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Well, you're already a home wrecker which I'm sure you've realized by now. :upset:

 

Don't do anymore damage than you've already done.

 

Let the married guy and his wife handle their own marriage or lack thereof however way they see fit. It's their choice regarding how they navigate their marriage, his wife's timing to leave him and fractured home and family life.

 

You've already done more than enough. Don't interfere nor intervene. Just disappear into oblivion for everyone's sake.

 

Change for the better and sin no more. Then you can look at yourself in the mirror knowing you can be a decent human being and a good person from this day forward.

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You know, Donna...I am wondering if you're trolling. Because anyone that meets a married man, flirts with him or accepts his flirting, carries on until they are having physical contact, then both decide to meet somewhere to have sexual relations...obviously made loads of choices before the end result.

 

You had many, many steps before you decided to do what you did. At any time, you could have stepped back, thought to yourself, "maybe I am just being horny" and could have walked away. Took time to seriously think of the consequences, think about who is actually involved, besides you and he. Consider that you are creating some woman's worst nightmare and in turn, are causing a ripple effect of upset to her family and friends, and his as well.

 

And NOW you stop and care? I'm sorry, but you sound completely disingenuous and again, selfish. Selfish because now you want to fix it to stop YOUR guilt.

 

Just step away. Leave these people alone. Get therapy if you need to.

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It's not actually any of your business now to get involved in his or his wife's decisions and in their relationship. You would definitely not be helping if you contacted her because the best thing you can do is just to leave them alone. The guy cheated so he has to deal with the consequences. And really it's better for him to learn his lesson by the wife leaving him. If she stays with him and forgives him then it's just too easy for him.

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The regret and guilt is killing me. There has to be something I can do to make it any better :(

 

Your motivation is to relieve your own guilt. That's selfish. Doing so would be at her expense.

 

You need to realize you have less than zero credibility with her and if you called me to make yourself feel better, I'd be livid.

 

You giving her advise about her husband - is insulting. I hope you realize that.

 

You deal with the regret, guilt and consequences of your actions on your own.

 

The best thing you can do is to be respectful and leave her and her husband alone.

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Your best course of action is to leave this poor woman alone. You had no intention of a serious relationship with her husband yet you still went ahead and ruined her marriage. You really are the last person to offer her advice although your suggestion doesn't surprise me. The fact you were selfish enough to put your own needs above hers to start with is testament to that. If I were her and you approached me after what you'd done your safety would definitely be compromised. Look outside of yourself and just think about it for a moment.

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cut all contact , stay away from them , i think you understand now its a super messy thing to be in, be involved with someone who is already in a relationship.He is one super jerk wants her and you too, people like these will keep looking out while being in a relationship.Stay alone for a while, probably a therapist visit is best advised to understand why your moral ticker is off or why you feel like this.Be patient, get your mind and heart sorted, look for singles, stay away from married and taken men, he also needs some counselling to save his marriage.

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