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My grandmother has contracted coronavirus and we're very aware she will likely die in the next few days and I'm struggling quite a bit with it. My ex broke up with me about 6 months ago (and now has a new partner) but we still talk occasionally. Having seen a post on social media about it he has reached out to offer support to me. I really want to talk to him about my gran because he's the person who understands me and can cheer me up the best but I'm not sure if I'm just causing myself long term pain by talking to him on an emotional level? Is it worth it? Is it too risky?

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Of course it's gonna cause you pain in the long term. Especially if he's "The only one who understand you" and especially if the conversation goes well. When something is good we want more of it. The only problem is that you won't have more. You won't be able to call him whenever you want to talk. you will refrain yourself because "he's in a relationship bla bla bla"

At the end of the day, it's your decision but it would be good to find other route of support since he's your ex and it hasn't been long enough since the break up for you to heal completely.

Sorry about your grandmother...

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Aw man, my condolences. I lost most of grandparents pretty early, it must be a tough time in your life. Sorry to hear.

 

Emotional turbulence can make it difficult to maintain self-control and act rationally - but you seem to be doing a great job. You’re smart to ask for advice in this situation, and I think deep down you already know the answer, and just needed a little nudge.

 

I agree with the other two posters your best best is to keep it “cordial” with the ex. Thank him for his message and then respect yourself (and his relationship too) and then let it go.

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I'm sorry to hear about your grandmother, OP. Internet hugs.

 

I wouldn't try to engage your ex in a conversation about this, though. While it's natural to want to turn to people who know you well, it's also important that you don't lean on him as your pillar of support anymore. This is especially true if he's with someone else now. He can't play that role in you life any longer and it would be unwise to attempt it. Turn to family and friends instead. This is one of those critical moments that comes with accepting that it's over and your life is different now, with a different support system.

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I'm sorry about your grandmother, sammy29.

 

Respect that your ex is your ex and that's it. Since he reached out to you by offering his compassion, just say, (write) "thank you" and no more.

 

Even though you want to talk to him, you need to exercise restraint, self control, self discipline and discretion. You need to enforce boundaries with people including your ex.

 

I agree with others. Reach out to relatives (family), friends, your current boyfriend, counselors, therapists, etc. Most of all, your current new partner / boyfriend is the one you should confide to. That is the reason for having a partner / boyfriend; NOT your ex.

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