Think my ex boyfriend is gay. Please help 😫

[catfeeder]

Think my ex boyfriend is gay. Please help 😫

 

Whenever the word 'ex' is used to describe someone, there isn't really anything else that's relevant about them anymore.

 

I'd mind my own business and move myself forward.

[Skeptic76]

👆🏻 Best signature in the business right there, folks. These days most of my problems die of neglect.

 

I personally see the value of former relationship deconstruction *with the goal of understanding our OWN behaviors better.* I think OP is getting some good insight about her own motivations and areas where she can change her behavior to make her next relationship more authentic and fulfilling...but at the end of the day what her ex is about TODAY and what he is doing NOW are by and large irrelevant.

[MissCanuck]

I think you need to move on from him, OP.

 

He's not the guy you thought he was, and he's been dishonest with you for a long time. That's nearly impossible to come back from, and I don't get the impression he wants to try anymore, either.

[Billie28]

He blocked you.

 

That’s all that you really need to know right now.

 

At best he is bisexual , but bisexual partners don’t have monogamous relationships. They would be unsatisfied if they were.

 

Asking a bisexual to be monogamous is like asking a straight person to enter an unfulfilled sexless relationship.

 

He kept secrets from you from day one.

A year in you discovered his pot smoking attic .

You stayed with him in spite of that.

You a couple of years after that moved in with him. Why? You didn’t like the pot smoking?

 

You then get mad at him for smoking pot? It doesn’t matter that he said he wouldn’t .

You should not have moved in with him or stayed the last 3 years if it bothered you that much?

 

He doesnt want to be judged for his lifestyle choices and he never trusted you enough to tell you about them.

 

Its all irrelevant now.

 

It’s over. He has blocked you.

You need to now dwell on the ifs or buts.

He still doesn’t want to tell you and he does have that right to not tell you.

 

In future , don’t ignore red flags , don’t bury your head in the sand?

 

Sorry !

[Hollyj]

I think you need to take some serious time to examine why you are so willing to stick your head in the sand and completely ignore massive lies, huge incompatibilities and deal breakers.

 

This entire relationship was built on lies and you did find out fairly early on, but opted to stick around anyway. As you said yourself - you'd rather not know than face the truth. Even when confronted with the truth, you still opt to stick your head in the sand and do nothing, just keep on going down a bad path wasting your life and time on a dead end. This isn't love, btw, it's codependence, aka a very unhealthy form of attachment that serves to harm you because you don't walk away from toxic partners.

 

You can't even blame him for your lost 4 years. You lost those years yourself. I'm just curious.....if the company was bankrupt and closing, would you still keep buying its stock? No, right? This relationship has been bankrupt from day one, but you keep buying more stock. Is that really a good choice?

 

Agree with all of this.

 

You need to get tested.

[Hollyj]

He blocked you.

 

That’s all that you really need to know right now.

 

At best he is bisexual , but bisexual partners don’t have monogamous relationships. They would be unsatisfied if they were.

 

Asking a bisexual to be monogamous is like asking a straight person to enter an unfulfilled sexless relationship.

 

He kept secrets from you from day one.

A year in you discovered his pot smoking attic .

You stayed with him in spite of that.

You a couple of years after that moved in with him. Why? You didn’t like the pot smoking?

 

You then get mad at him for smoking pot? It doesn’t matter that he said he wouldn’t .

You should not have moved in with him or stayed the last 3 years if it bothered you that much?

 

He doesnt want to be judged for his lifestyle choices and he never trusted you enough to tell you about them.

 

Its all irrelevant now.

 

It’s over. He has blocked you.

You need to now dwell on the ifs or buts.

He still doesn’t want to tell you and he does have that right to not tell you.

 

In future , don’t ignore red flags , don’t bury your head in the sand?

 

Sorry !

 

I don't agree that bisexual people cannot have monogamous, they are just as capable as anyone else.

 

OP, this relationship was filled with many lies. You need to move on from this guy.

[Wiseman2]

You may want to rethink your standards. Dating is not social work. You are not a rehab or lgbt support group. It's not to coddle drug using sexually confused individuals. It's to find a decent partner for yourself. If STDs "don't scare you" or promiscuity and infidelity "don't scare you", you will be hurt sooner or later.

the thought of him being with intimate men doesn’t scare me what so ever, the thing that scares me is him doing it whilst he’s with me.