I asked my fiancé to give us another try

[Danie0930]

To begin i was once engaged and it lasted about almost 6 years. Through this journey we had ups and downs and then things felt worst so i got out of the relationship. Wanted some advice if any. Me and my ex fiancé separated about 4-5 years ago. At the beginning of the separation we didnt speak a lot and then we went silent focusing on our lives. At one point i reached out to her for closure and i got what i needed and we decided to maintain this level of communication, we would call each other and at times spend time at her place. One day she decides she wanted to be friends and build from there because she said we both changed. I went with the flow but things started getting weird when she would only call me or talk to me when she needed things but when I wanted to plan dates or just plans in general she would decline them at the last minute. We got into an argument over me not helping her and we fell back into silent. During this silent time she would text me once in a blue to say hi how i was doing or birthday/ Christmas. Even went to spend thanksgiving with her. We went silent meaning texts now and then for a year about small things and even calling by the pet name she gave. Then late 2019 to early 2020 she started texting randomly saying she keeps thinking about what could have been between us, the trips we took and the things we did. Even to goes as far as invite me to dinner with her aunt, sadly i couldn't go due to work but she said if i can't one of these day i could come over. And now she's calling me by the pet name she gave me and we occasionally talk more. So I messaged her saying that i too reminisce of the past and what could have been. That I wanted to see what can really be if we gave it another shot, That I'm seeing us in a different light, and I wonder if she had done so too. And that i hope we could meet and talk about it but if not, I'd respect her decision. After a few words she said we would have to talk in person. Not sure what to expect and wanted some advice.

[MissCanuck]

I'm not sure what the outcome of this one is going to be, OP. All you can do is sit tight until you have the chance to talk in person, which might be a while if you're under quarantine the way much of the world is these days.

 

At the very least, you'll know whether there is something to build on or if it's time to really let go. You (hopefully) won't be in this limbo anymore after you hear what she has to say.

[Danie0930]

Thanks. You're right just never understood her reason for her messages. As if it was a constant hot and cold. But i believe these years made me stronger where I hold my goal above everyones needs. Just feel like this might be the end of a chapter where i could finally be at piece with either with her or without her.

[MissCanuck]

The messages are confusing, yes.

 

I have a feeling that if she wanted to try again, she probably would've given you a more positive response when you put the idea forward to her. She might not have hopped on board straight away but I suspect she'd have given some indication that she was happy you'd brought it up.

[Tinydance]

Have you been dating other women also in the last five years? Look it sounds to me like you are still really hung up on this ex but you are probably better off just to start slow fading her. Or fast fade her lol To be honest it kind of sounds like in the last five years you haven't really found anyone else and that's why you both keep coming back to each other. I understand six years is a long relationship but that ended five years ago now. Usually a relationship breaks up for a reason and they are an ex for a reason. And especially now it has been a number of years and you two didn't pursue anything. To me it sounds like she doesn't really want anything serious with you but she just likes your friendship and to have you there as an option.

[Danie0930]

Hey I know it's been awhile but wanted to add on due to school she said she would have to give me a date the following week when she wasn't swamped with studying for her license exam. During this time of waiting i did give her space and she would text me first and i would do the same at times but sometimes she would leave me on read. I do try to be supportive of her through text but i feel like she's getting bored of me. Even now she left me on read and we haven't spoken for 5 days. I don't want to continuously text her because i don't want to come off as needy but im confused because i don't want her to think that what i said before was BS and i want to show her that I'm interested.