What the heck is wrong with him or his mind??

[Morninsun]

Hi guys, my boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years and 2 months, but there is something that I cant quite wrap my finger about and it’s the fact that my boyfriend every time we see a movie, show or whatever on tv and theres a pretty or beautiful woman he acknowledges it and says how beautiful she is in front of me and trust me this is all the TIME!!!.

 

Not to mention that when we go out and there is a beautiful girl in a restaurant, movies, walking nearby,etcc I can tell he looks at this girl back and forth trying to be discreet but I can see he is looking, this happened yesterday we went to a popular outdoor mall where we live and little after we arrived this group of couples arrived and in front of us was a guy and his girlfriend ( part of that group, she was very pretty indeed) but first I was eating enjoying my meal, then I noticed my boyfriend was looking at her, so obviously I got the picture.

 

Then he began telling me how their body language was, so I just went ahead and said to him, that this girl was really pretty for the guy that she was with( it was the truth, nevertheless that’s their business right!!) so my boyfriend said the same thing, that she was way to pretty for her boyfriend. Then he stared a little more.

 

When we left, the group of girls had stand up to go to a fashion store in front of us, so when we were about to leave we were facing the store and there she was with the rest of the girls ( with their behinds facing us) I saw them and then my bf looked and then as we left walking away he looked again.

He did this to me in another restaurant, where he was the one facing a couple, well facing the girl especially , with huge fake boobs and commenting how she looked like an actress that had an amazing body but ugly face, then he said “oh the couple is leaving the boyfriend was a gentleman for putting his sweater on her”.

 

Why do you guys thinks is the real reason this 48 year old man does this to me or comments these things in front of me ( 31 years old) is he insecure? Is he gaslighting me? He wants to make me jealous or doubt myself? To me all of this scream insecurity from his behalf trying to make me( which I happen to be very secure) to make me insecure, or even worse make me feel belittled, or as if I AM NOT ENOUGH FOR HIM. Not cool for a man that supposedly” loves me and wants me very much”

My good friend told me that he is acting very immature for his age and the fact that I talk to him about how good I look, that I love my curvy body and how much security I have in myself, may drive him nuts and he wants me to feel the other way around so he can have some control over me, she also told me these men turn women obviously if they are not strong enough into the most insecure woman ever.

 

 

Sometimes, he tells me how good I look,, before he used to do it more, now it has decreased I say it more to myself in front of him. I feel this gets to him for some reason ( when I praise myself) I do it because I know I am beautiful and look good.

[Skeptic76]

Have you directly told him how his behavior makes you feel? What did he say?

[Hollyj]

He is 48! I think it manipulative and mean, and he is trying to male you feel less than.

 

I would find this incredibly disrespectful! He objectifies and does not respect women.

 

Why are you even dating this fool! My question, why have you put up with it?

 

You need to get your self worth in check and dump him.

[MissCanuck]

Have you told him directly that it bothers you?

 

You shouldn't have to, at his age, but I would be curious what his reaction is when you tell him plainly to knock it off.

[Clio]

It sounds like he is one of these people who stay immature for life and only go for much younger women that they can then try to manipulate to their liking and/or have the upper hand over them. He is focused on youth and beauty. Guess what's going to happen when you age... He is too old for you yet immature. Imo, spending some of your prime years on this guy doesn't sound like a good emotional investment on your part.

[Wiseman2]

Why do you have to prove yourself to him or continually announce "how beautiful you are" to him? Who cares what he thinks? Your self image is way too wrapped up in his behavior and opinions. Stop putting him on a pedestal as if every outing is a beauty contest you need to win and he's the judge. He sounds like a jerk, but after 2 yrs you already know this.

as if I AM NOT ENOUGH FOR HIM.

I talk to him about how good I look, that I love my curvy body and how much security I have in myself

I feel this gets to him for some reason ( when I praise myself) I do it because I know I am beautiful and look good.

[kamurj]

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