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Neighbor’s ex partner had covid-19


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Hi everyone,

 

It’s me again talking about covid-19! Hope everyone has been healthy.

 

Not sure about this situation, but I thought I’d see what you all think. My neighbor is a single mother of a 4 month old baby. We get along well and are currently in sms contact once in a while to check on each other. We live in a duplex, so one big house, two entrances. Our yards are separated by a wooden fence, but our cars are parked out front next to each other in front of garage. To paint a really rough picture.

 

Quick backstory, her ex boyfriend left her when she was pregnant with her daughter. He stops by once a week or so for an hour to spend time with the baby. I’m not sure what their visitation situation is, but I believe she has full custody and he has the right to see his kid... sometimes? They weren’t married and have not lived together. She tells me he’s generally irresponsible and prefers to party over seeing his daughter sometimes. I don’t know him personally at all. Anyway...

 

He hasn’t seen his daughter in weeks and has been MIA. He sent her a message today and he apparently went on a trip and contracted covid-19. He says he’s been quarantined for 20 days and feels better. He wants to see his child tomorrow. She’s not ok with it, because she doesn’t trust his word. I totally understand that and to be honest, it makes ME uncomfortable knowing this virus can travel up to 27 feet. I’d rather nobody enter the house who doesn’t live there, but then again, I have no say in this. She says there’s not much she can do legally, but will contact her lawyer today.

 

My question is, what are our rights as neighbors here? I’m fully aware I’m an outsider and have no say in their custody arrangement, but can I be concerned about contracting this due to close proximity? We have a no leave order in place here in the city. I don’t know how that affects visitation. Or should I close all windows when I see him approach and not go in the yard for a whole day? I might sound extreme, but this whole situation is extreme... it feels frightening to have him next door potentially.

 

Advice would be appreciated!

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First off... did he have the virus? or was he just in self quarantine?

If he had the virus, he must be cleared by a doctor. If he is cleared, simple 6 feet social distancing is more than adequate, he won't be contagious.

I doubt very much he would come over knowing he could infect her and his baby. You will be ok.

 

Secondly relax. All this stress and anxiety is what will make you sick. Mental health is just as important and physical health.

 

Me I'm still gong to work, going to the store.....I'm ok, so is everyone in my company. My husband the same. We wash our hands, stay a safe distance from people. I don't know of anyone that has gotten the virus.

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Hi Smacki, definitely have tried to not read too much about it. It’s helping my anxiety for sure! I’m trying at least.

Yes he was confirmed positive. Apparently the courts are unsure about this one. I’m hoping video chats for the time being are fine.

You’d think he’d want to play it safe around his baby, but then again, he went on some spring break type trip and contracted it there, so responsible isn’t something I’d call him.

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Hi Smacki, definitely have tried to not read too much about it. It’s helping my anxiety for sure! I’m trying at least.

Yes he was confirmed positive. Apparently the courts are unsure about this one. I’m hoping video chats for the time being are fine.

You’d think he’d want to play it safe around his baby, but then again, he went on some spring break type trip and contracted it there, so responsible isn’t something I’d call him.

 

Once those disbelievers got a taste that virus, they sure as hell change their tune. 4 days of feverish hell will smack reality into anyone. Once they have had the virus they are no longer contagious. It's those who are coughing and sneezing are dangerous to everyone they are in contact with, because it's airborne in droplets. The virus can shed and adhere to clothing and hair, that's why 6 feet is suggested as to avoid that kind of contact. She can refuse, he can see his baby through a window, or video chat. You living next door is safe. If he washes his hands and wears a mask, that can help too. But since everyone is on lockdown, the cops are just going to send his a$$ back home anyways. She can even call authorities if he doesn't respect her wishes.

 

You can still enjoy your yard. Take care of yourself, we will get through this.

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In fairness, if he was quarantined for 20 days and on Spring Break even before then, it was still around the time "well the flu kills [x] many people every year" was still a common enough tagline. I'd also take with a grain of salt any accounts someone who's pursuing legal action against somebody has for said somebody's behavior or character. Not that I think she's lying. Just not worth assuming anything you don't have to either way when it comes to someone else's baby daddy / visitation drama.

 

As far as your actual interests go, 27 feet is certainly one of the more generous estimates I've heard of, not that I'm doubting it on paper. It's not aerosolized, so absent the guy pulling out a straw and shooting a spit ball at your face, I wouldn't be worried about proximity. And any droplets certainly aren't going to be suspended in the air floating toward your house for however many minutes or hours between the time he's been outside and you collecting the mail.

 

So I don't know. I don't have a kid, so it's easy for me to say the guy should just forego his visitation for however many weeks on top of the month or so between his vacation and quarantine. All that's between your neighbor, him, and whichever medical professionals he's received treatment and consult from. I'd just keep your head down and your hands clean.

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I'm curious to see where the 27 feet guideline is published. Can you please post a link to the CDC or WHO where this information is published? I'd like to read it.

 

Thanks.

 

FYI apparently it was mostly debunked -apparently as a technicality if someone let out a huge forceful sneeze it potentially could travel up to 27 feet- maybe google it for yourself - but it's so remote and the situation would have to be that extreme. 6 feet seems to be just fine. OP I wouldn't worry about your personal health in this situation.

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It's no different than going to the grocery store. Just keep your distance as much as possible and continue to stay far away from your neighbors.

 

Contact your local police dept and ask them. Perhaps they can tell you what your rights are as a tenant.

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OP I dont know where you live, but here in Ontario, Canada anyone who does not normally live in your house is not allowed inside. That includes parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, grandma, and irresponsible boyfriends. What is the rule where you live? You can land in major doo doo if you try that here.

 

The bf needs to be cleared by a doctor before he starts moving around the community.

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I’m in Texas, Melancholy. Looks like here the rule is to limit contact to people who live in your household. I’m not sure how that applies to visitation rights. But from what I can tell from everyone’s opinions, it shouldn’t matter too much for us next door, as long as we stay a bit more careful.

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I’m in Texas, Melancholy. Looks like here the rule is to limit contact to people who live in your household. I’m not sure how that applies to visitation rights. But from what I can tell from everyone’s opinions, it shouldn’t matter too much for us next door, as long as we stay a bit more careful.

 

In a duplex, condo, apartment - you are not actually sharing space with other people around expect for common areas. Even there, since this is a duplex unless the guy directly sneezes on you, you have nothing to worry about. You aren't sharing any actual space with. There is also the fact that if he was cleared out of quarantine, then he is not deemed contagious. Panic is not warranted here.

 

Don't get crazy with all the misinformation out there. Studies done under ideal lab conditions or that are extreme and exaggerated cases have a place in the scientific world, but zero relevance to you and it's unfortunate that journalists are reporting that as if it matters to average Joe. There is way too much misinformation and click bait type articles out there.

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I read today that the virus has to sit in the disinfectant for about 4 minutes to die. In other words, just wiping down a surface (handle of shopping cart) doesn't do it.

 

Someone suggested aluminum foil for the handle.

 

I think there's tons of misinformation out there. I limit myself to one or two authoritative websites. Here's what I do. For a shopping cart I keep the disinfecting wipe over the handle so that it's a barrier the entire time. For other surfaces I open and close outside door handles (like in my building) only with a barrier -typically a piece of paper, sometimes the underside of my shirt.

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I read today that the virus has to sit in the disinfectant for about 4 minutes to die. In other words, just wiping down a surface (handle of shopping cart) doesn't do it.

 

Someone suggested aluminum foil for the handle.

Perhaps the one silver lining is that enveloped viruses like SARS-2 are among the most easy to kill. You'd actually have to get inventive to come up with a household disinfectant that didn't successfully eliminate them within 30 - 60 seconds. That's not to say grocery shopping isn't a substantial risk to contamination, particularly with who knows how many people fondling products just to put them right back on the shelf. But even without hand sanitizer, there are about a dozen cleaning agents that haven't been wiped off the shelves you could use to efficiently sterilize as needed.
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Also please don't go BBQ Becky calling the cops about a dude asserting his visitation rights, as has been suggested I assume with good intentions. If the mother indeed has grounds to deny him access to his kid, she's evidently got a lawyer well capable of providing her counsel for her own interests.

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She is right to refuse.

She should set up a Facetime/VIdeoApp visit with him and the baby. It doesn't benefit the baby at all, but maybe have the camera on the baby sleeping for a short time and that might satisfy visitation - though if there is no visitation - the court did not set it up and she is letting him see the baby for an hour out of the goodness of her heart, its not legally required and she can say no and refuse.

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Also please don't go BBQ Becky calling the cops about a dude asserting his visitation rights, as has been suggested I assume with good intentions. If the mother indeed has grounds to deny him access to his kid, she's evidently got a lawyer well capable of providing her counsel for her own interests.

 

😂 no worries

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