reinventmyself Posted April 17, 2020 Share Posted April 17, 2020 You keep saying *you don't invite her. But you do engage her. One doesn't really get points for not responding to all her demands, but giving in to some. I suspect you do so because it allows you to stay attached in some way. Are you wanting to stay in the mix or move forward? And why haven't you blocked her? Link to comment
Hannah97 Posted April 17, 2020 Author Share Posted April 17, 2020 You keep saying *you don't invite her. But you do engage her. One doesn't really get points for not responding to all her demands, but giving in to some. I suspect you do so because it allows you to stay attached in some way. Are you wanting to stay in the mix or move forward? And why haven't you blocked her? In what way would it keep me attached? I want to move forward. I didn't block her as i was not expecting her to continue to message after we had broken up. And then when she did message again it was to ask why i still had my relationship status up and i answered to tell her i had taken it down. I thought that would be the end of it. I don't understand why she asks me all the questions instead of asking him. The relationship status could just as easliy have been taken down by him so why ask me? Why not ask him why he hadn't taken it down? Surely that would be more the question she should have been asking? Link to comment
Seraphim Posted April 17, 2020 Share Posted April 17, 2020 So now you know to block her , yes? Link to comment
Jibralta Posted April 17, 2020 Share Posted April 17, 2020 The only reasons i did not change it right away were because i did not want everyone knowing straight away and also i did not want to come across as a coldhearted b*tch by changing it too quickly. I did not expect his ex to be checking on my profile when we aren't even friends on there and to be questioning me over it. Unfortunately your attempt at image control backfired, and you ended up complicating your life even further by concealing the truth and in fact advertising an untruth. You could have simply changed your privacy settings and hidden your relationship status if you didn't want people to know about your break up. Instead, you left it public for everyone to see, including her. You say that you don't want to engage her, but everybody and their grandmother knows you have control over your public information sharing on social media. You don't come out of this looking good. Link to comment
Hannah97 Posted April 17, 2020 Author Share Posted April 17, 2020 I did not expect her to be checking up on me and checking my social media page. I thought that once i had told her i had ended things that would be it, that she would have no reason to contact me again Link to comment
bluecastle Posted April 17, 2020 Share Posted April 17, 2020 If you'd like to understand the behavior of hers that you find so perplexing you really just need to look in the mirror. Link to comment
Hannah97 Posted April 17, 2020 Author Share Posted April 17, 2020 If you'd like to understand the behavior of hers that you find so perplexing you really just need to look in the mirror. I don't follow? Link to comment
bluecastle Posted April 17, 2020 Share Posted April 17, 2020 I don't follow? You seem shocked that she is putting weight on social media, yet the first thing you were thinking about when this blew up was social media. You seem shocked that she wants answers from you, yet you are obsessed with why she wants answers from you. It's kind of the same thing, you see? Just as she could move on with her life instead of texting you, you could block all these people and move on with yours. Just as she could not look at your social media page, you could adjust your own page to reflect the truth or adjust the privacy settings. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted April 17, 2020 Share Posted April 17, 2020 Block block block.I did not expect her to be checking up on me and checking my social media page. Link to comment
reinventmyself Posted April 17, 2020 Share Posted April 17, 2020 In what way would it keep me attached? I want to move forward. I didn't block her as i was not expecting her to continue to message after we had broken up. And then when she did message again it was to ask why i still had my relationship status up and i answered to tell her i had taken it down. I thought that would be the end of it. I don't understand why she asks me all the questions instead of asking him. The relationship status could just as easliy have been taken down by him so why ask me? Why not ask him why he hadn't taken it down? Surely that would be more the question she should have been asking? As long as you are talking about him, explaining your involvement with him, defending the reasons you are done with him. . AND talking to us about her. . you are still attached. People don't do things unless they are getting something out of it. It appears you manage to stay attached or you would have blocked her by now Link to comment
Hannah97 Posted April 17, 2020 Author Share Posted April 17, 2020 As long as you are talking about him, explaining your involvement with him, defending the reasons you are done with him. . AND talking to us about her. . you are still attached. I am not talking to her about him. I have simply told her, only once, that i have not spoken to him and that what ever is said between them is between them. I have not really spoken to anybody. I am talking to you about her and the situation as a whole because i do not really feel like it is a conversation i wish to have with people i know and that also know him Link to comment
reinventmyself Posted April 17, 2020 Share Posted April 17, 2020 I am not talking to her about him. I have simply told her, only once, that i have not spoken to him and that what ever is said between them is between them. I have not really spoken to anybody. I am talking to you about her and the situation as a whole because i do not really feel like it is a conversation i wish to have with people i know and that also know him ok . .if you take nothing away from any the advise offered . . carry on Link to comment
Hannah97 Posted April 17, 2020 Author Share Posted April 17, 2020 ok . .if you take nothing away from any the advise offered . . carry on There isnt much to take away from it. The only advice i have been given is to block her which i now have Link to comment
Seraphim Posted April 17, 2020 Share Posted April 17, 2020 There isnt much to take away from it. The only advice i have been given is to block her which i now have Yes, there is a lot to take from it. Avoid the drama is vital to a happy life. Important life skill to learn. Link to comment
reinventmyself Posted April 17, 2020 Share Posted April 17, 2020 look at it this way. One the most crucial ways to move on from something like this is to stop talking about it. Initially vetting it all out is cathartic. Put at some point going on about it like this, is like adding wood to fire. You keep stoking the fire, it never dies. (hence, staying attached) He's long gone but talking to her and about her is unhealthy, pointless and keeps you from moving forward. Link to comment
reinventmyself Posted April 17, 2020 Share Posted April 17, 2020 There isnt much to take away from it. There isn't much to take away from it? . . yet you keep coming back. The dynamic between you 3 is no longer a mystery Link to comment
Hannah97 Posted April 17, 2020 Author Share Posted April 17, 2020 look at it this way. One the most crucial ways to move on from something like this is to stop talking about it. Initially vetting it all out is cathartic. Put at some point going on about it like this, is like adding wood to fire. You keep stoking the fire, it never dies. (hence, staying attached) He's long gone but talking to her and about her is unhealthy, pointless and keeps you from moving forward. I understand that but i am not really talking to her. Yes, i replied a couple of times, but only to get my point across and to tell her to stop contacting me. And i am only talking about her on here because of her constant need to message me. I was looking foe some insight as to why she feels the need to keep questioning me even now Link to comment
Hannah97 Posted April 17, 2020 Author Share Posted April 17, 2020 The dynamic between you 3 is no longer a mystery What do you mean by that? Link to comment
boltnrun Posted April 17, 2020 Share Posted April 17, 2020 I understand that but i am not really talking to her. Yes, i replied a couple of times, but only to get my point across and to tell her to stop contacting me. And i am only talking about her on here because of her constant need to message me. I was looking foe some insight as to why she feels the need to keep questioning me even now Who cares why? Block her, block him and be done with the drama. Do you think she thinks he still loves you? Are you hoping he does so you can get him back? I can't imagine any other reason you would want to stay involved in this pointless drama. Link to comment
reinventmyself Posted April 17, 2020 Share Posted April 17, 2020 You say you didnt get any benefit from the advise, yet you return. You don't want to talk her, yet you do and won't move on though you say you want to. Done. Good luck Link to comment
Hannah97 Posted April 17, 2020 Author Share Posted April 17, 2020 I have blocked her. I do not know if she thinks he still loves me. I don't even know if they are back together or getting back together or anything like that. And no, i do not care if he does or not. It was me who left him not the other way around. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted April 17, 2020 Share Posted April 17, 2020 Excellent. Now you can move on and get out of their relationship.I have blocked her. Link to comment
Hannah97 Posted April 17, 2020 Author Share Posted April 17, 2020 Excellent. Now you can move on and get out of their relationship. I am not in their relationship. I do not even know if they have a relationship Link to comment
Hannah97 Posted April 17, 2020 Author Share Posted April 17, 2020 I feel as though many of the people on here see me as the bad guy. Yes, i told him i had cheated when i ended our relationship but he was the ine that cheated on her, i knew nothing of her. He was the one that chose to put seeing me above seeing his children, again i knew nothing of this and actively encouraged him to see them. And he is the one that cheated on me by sending sexual messages with his ex. I did nothing wrong. So why am i the one that gets questions and abuse from her? Why am i the one people think is in the wrong? Why does nobody question him. He should be the one to answer to her and everybody else. Not me Link to comment
Seraphim Posted April 17, 2020 Share Posted April 17, 2020 I feel as though many of the people on here see me as the bad guy. Yes, i told him i had cheated when i ended our relationship but he was the ine that cheated on her, i knew nothing of her. He was the one that chose to put seeing me above seeing his children, again i knew nothing of this and actively encouraged him to see them. And he is the one that cheated on me by sending sexual messages with his ex. I did nothing wrong. So why am i the one that gets questions and abuse from her? Why am i the one people think is in the wrong? Why does nobody question him. He should be the one to answer to her and everybody else. Not me He isn’t here to answer questions. Just don’t care about them and go about your day. Link to comment
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