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I don't know if I've upset her, she's bored of me or if she is just being nice..


MartinSeptim

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Hi all, thanks for reading. Let me just start off by saying that I've never been very good at communicating with women in a flirty sense and I really struggle to see their "hidden" meanings and all that kinda stuff.

Without going into too much personal details, recently I started speaking with a girl from Instagram who does amateur modelling so this girl has a LOT of attention from other men but we started speaking on Whatsapp and for the first week or two she really did seem to like me a lot, she seemed very flirty, replied to my messages pretty quickly even though she is a very busy girl and has lots of guys messaging her all the time. I know she thinks I'm a lovely guy and she has even called me an angel a few times and even said I was beautiful. She is usually pretty liberal with her use of emoji's and kisses in messages also. Now because I really felt like I clicked with her pretty much from the beginning and I honestly do really like her, but I like her in such a way that I feel like I'm treading on egg shells with everything I say, I didn't want to bite instantly and come on to her hard because she'd just think I was just another desperate follower that wants to get into her knickers so I'm trying my hardest to avoid looking like "that guy".

As I said earlier, she is a very busy girl, I know that and so I feel that not constantly messaging her all the time and replying to her instantly will show that not only am I not a needy person but also respect that she has a life and needs her space. I am not trying to play any games, please don't get that impression, I just can't afford to make her dislike me.

I know being clingy and needy is a massive turn-off but at the same time I wish I could talk with her more.

I've noticed that after last week when I showed her some screenshots of a conversation between me and some other girl that she seems a bit off, like she seems shorter in her messaging and started replying a day or two later.

 

I have not confronted her about this yet, she may very well just be busy with other things but I feel like I've either upset her

or annoyed her in some way with the screenshots I showed to her. I don't want to make myself look a fool and/or scare her away at all, personally I think I might be best confronting her and apologising for upsetting her, if I have done, would she appreciate that?

I feel so dumb but I really like this girl a lot and hope to one day push things further. Would love to be in a relationship with her, I usually hate talking to women but she is different. I do get really upset when I see she's not messaged back in over a day but I don't show it for obvious reasons as stated above.

I think if I have upset her at all, in some f***** up way that's sort of a good thing right? For me at least. She obviously does like me if she's upset at me for something.

That's how I see it anyway, because I get really mixed signals from her recently. In one of her last messages she was pretty short and brief but did end it with "Lots of love xxx"

and she calls me "babe" all the time. I'm not too good at knowing exactly the meaning of how women convey their feelings through texting and it really confuses me.

 

I think I am just going to ask her what's wrong and tell her I am sorry for if I have upset her, which I am. I like her so much

I DO actually care about her well-being very much and not just my own. If I've f***** myself over somehow then I'm gonna really hate myself forever.

I'm in my mid 20's and haven't been in a relationship for what seems like an eternity, and wasn't actively seeking one either until she came along. I don't plan on telling her how I really feel about her though until we get to know each other a bit more at least because I'm just going to look like a creep then, but as it stands at the moment, she seems annoyed at me and so we can't converse when she's replying a day later and being pretty short. I know most of you will just pull the "She's not interested. Move on" card but the reason I'm here is because I'm almost 100% positive she likes me a bit more than other guys she speaks to, she gave very, very strong impressions earlier on before the whole screenshot incident and did seem keen on talking with me and such. She might just be bored of me I guess..but like a day before this incident, she sent me a little personal video thanking me for something I did for her

but the next day I showed her the screenshots and she seems not as interested anymore.

 

I need to just let her know that I can tell she's upset with me and apologise don't I? I just feel like if I say or do the wrong thing then I'll lose her for good.

Please, please, please only give me serious and detailed answers that are actually helpful. I will not take "she's not interested in you" for an answer, I just know she is sweet on me and I can win her one day. I think I'm pretty attractive

and I'm also about 6 foot 6 and don't act needy and desperate, so I'm pretty confident that I stand out from the rest of the masses anyway but just struggle with all these "hidden" messages and signs. I'm just s*** at texting!

I guess what I should really be asking is am I likely to be able to develop a more interesting relationship with her again if I try and make amends and apologise to her after what I may have done to upset her?

 

Sorry that this post is so long and probably all over the place, I'm just quietly dying over here and need some advice before my head falls off. Thank you all so much in advance for reading and sharing your thoughts/advice on the matter. Very much appreciate the help! :)

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What exactly was the content of the screenshot conversation, and why did you share it with her?

 

I can already tell you that you very over-invested in this, though. From what I can understand, you have never met her in person. This is simply someone you're texting with. Don't let the emojis and "babes" blur your perspective so much. You still have no idea who the person is on any really genuine level. You also have no clue how many other guys she might be talking to in exactly the same way. Try to relax and not get so attached to the outcome.

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She may be interested but it seems she is looking for fans, not a relationship.

I started speaking with a girl from Instagram who does amateur modelling so this girl has a LOT of attention from other men I will not take "she's not interested in you" for an answer
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Hi, MissCanuck! Thanks for taking the time to reply.

 

For the sake of convenience in this reply I will refer to the girl I like as girl A and the other person as girl B.

 

Basically, the contents of the screenshots were an argument between me and girl B. I showed girl A because we got onto the subject and she said she loved drama and I had nothing to hide so I just sent her the screenshots to prove how much of a psycho B**** this girl B actually was, long story short. The reason I think girl A may be annoyed at me is because in these screenshots it's obvious based off what girl B says to me that we were sexting at some point. Girl B said my penis was incapable of ever turning her on pretty much, so girl A knows I have sent pics and stuff like that, so I feel she liked me and I have let her down.

 

Aside from this argument, I honestly dropped contact with this girl B round about when I started speaking with girl A, because I genuinely like her and would love to develop a relationship with her one day. I know I don't know her much at all but that is kind of the whole point in this post, I am so interested in her that I aim to at least try. All relationships start somewhere. I am just finding it difficult at the moment to progress with her any further because she's being pretty confusing atm and sending mixed signals.

 

Despite taking a day or two to reply to some messages and being a little short with me, I can't help but feel she still likes me and that I have upset her. Like I think that she thinks I'm some sort of man-slag that is trying to lead her on to get into her knickers. That is honestly so far away from true though, I am just not like that, I prefer romance and love over mindless sex with random people, I was just having a bit of fun with girl B but after speaking with A, I 'm dead set on her and totally uninterested in anyone else.

I've shot myself in the though, unless she accepts my apology and believes me I won't be able to converse more deeply with her, so I wont get a chance with her. As a woman yourself, what exactly is my best course of action to prove my worth so to speak?

 

I know this is an odd situation to be in, I just need the guidance because if she wasn't at all interested in me she'd make it clear rather than signal that she's pissed at me, wouldn't she?.

I should just suck it up and apologise for upsetting her, right? Surely that will go a long way and she will appreciate it.

 

Thank you so much for your swift reply btw, I very much appreciate any help I can get.

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It is creepy to send this. Why send her lewd conversations/material?

 

It's amazing she didn't block you after sending private conversations from others. Now she knows you have zero boundaries or respect for girls and could forward her communications.

I just sent her the screenshots to prove how much of a psycho B**** this girl B actually was. in these screenshots it's obvious based off what girl B says to me that we were sexting at some point. Girl B said my penis was incapable of ever turning her
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Hi, Wiseman2! Thanks for the reply.

 

I did consider that to be the case at first and that's why I stupidly didn't bite. It's only because I gave her the fan attention she was after but still she shows she is a bit more interested than just that.

Not all of her fans get to speak to her apparently, I see a lot of them whinging that their DM's get ignored and whatnot, and she pops up to me..or did at least before I ticked her off. I get strong impressions that she is definitely signalling something.. I highly doubt all her thousand odd followers feel the same way as I do. It's honestly pretty damn confusing.

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Ikr, she didn't block me so clearly she wants me to apologise for that. And how exactly is it creepy? you don;t know exactly how we got onto that subject to be completely fair. And that is not true at all, I do have respect for women that deserve it.

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Btw, she literally only mentioned that I sent her a pic at one point in the past. You've got the wrong impression, I did not send her a bunch of sexting, I sent part of and argument that happened to contain evidence that me and this other girl were sexting at some point

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How often do you see this woman in person? How many dates have you been on with her?

 

I have not met her in person yet. Just early stage of texting, I don;t want to propose a meet too soon cause I'll just come off creepy then. I'm content with getting to know her more first but the issue is I appear to have let her down so it's going to be a difficult task

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Ikr, she didn't block me so clearly she wants me to apologise for that. And how exactly is it creepy? you don;t know exactly how we got onto that subject to be completely fair. And that is not true at all, I do have respect for women that deserve it.

 

If you are genuinely this clueless, I am not sure we can help you.

 

I'll try to explain anyway, and you probably won't agree but here is my take, as a woman: Sharing a portion of a conversation like this is classless, OP. It would show me that you lack integrity and boundaries. You lack a filter. Sending her anything to "prove what a psycho b****" some other random woman is? Immature in and of itself. Sending something in which another woman references your junk would also tell me you're not very experienced in building rapport with women. It doesn't take a lot common sense to know that sharing such a private conversation with a new potential love interest is not a smooth move, dude.

 

I am strongly getting the impression you were trying to make her jealous, though. You seem to be assuming that her lack of response means she must like you, and her ensuing silence mean she must want you to apologize. You're creating a narrative in your head which positions you as the desired man, and her as the hurt party. Maybe there's a shade of truth to that, but there are a lot of other possibilities. One such possibility? She prefers men who are more mindful and gentlemanly. If she is attractive as you say she is, she has her pick of the lot. You are one of many guys she probably gets messages from. It won't be much skin off her back to dismiss you and turn her attention elsewhere.

 

Your only real shot? As you said, you could try talking to her and apologizing for not being more considerate about what you shared. Not much else you can do beyond that, other than learn from this and conduct yourself with more discretion next time.

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You need somethings to sort about your self first, I think you know that already, we make mistakes and it helps us grow as a person as well. Not sure about apology working, Just leave her for now and go about with your life, take up some new skills, you need to work on being a better attractive person first and treat others with kindness and respect.

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I understand where you're coming from but unless I get into too much personal detail, you guys here will not know what lead to me sending this content. It was not really a conversation per say either but more of a long string of abuse from this other woman who was indeed in the wrong. If you can private message me or something I will go into more detail. I was not trying to make her jealous at all...what would I gain from that exactly? You wouldn't know such things with not enough context. I'm not going to post the ins and outs here publicly because I DO have boundaries and I am more of a gentleman than a lot of guys are. I sent part of an argument because this woman stole from me and then hurled a metric ton of abuse at me and in short, I just said to her "I can show you what she said if you like?" And she replied with "Ooo I do love drama haha" something along those lines anyway, so that would imply that she wouldn't think less of me for asking if she wanted to see what some fraudster said to me. I have never before and do not "share" conversations, you all have the wrong idea.

 

Thanks for the replies but I don't think this post helped at all. Just going to sort it out myself because I believe what you all think of me is so far from the truth. You don't know what platform this argument was on, why I sent to her and my reasons for sending it in the first place. I was the victim bare in mind, this woman was a con artist who stole money from me and then started to attack me verbally because I told her I wanted to stop contact with her and I showed the girl I liked because it sort of related to her, it's honestly not as "creepy" as it seems from an outsider POV. That's all I will say without going into too much detail. I was just looking for how I'd apologise to her is all.

 

It may have been bad taste but I am really not what you think.

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OP, it's not our impression you need to worry about. It's hers.

 

And she's the one who's gone a bit cold with you. This suggests she is indeed turned off.

 

In any case, I still maintain you're already too attached to the idea of dating her. You don't know her. She doesn't know you. You can try reaching out to her again if you want, but you will need to just leave her be if she's not responsive.

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but like a day before this incident, she sent me a little personal video thanking me for something I did for her

 

Can you provide a little more context around what you did for her? Did you send/give her something?

 

Getting "really upset" when someone who you have never met doesn't message you back is is a clear indicator of being overly-invested in this person (as a previous poster said). However, I think your confusion could be resolved fairly quickly if you ask to schedule a virtual "date" (facetime, skype, etc) - if she agrees or says no then you have a clear answer as to whether she is interested in you or just being kind to someone in her fan base.

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Can you provide a little more context around what you did for her? Did you send/give her something?

 

Getting "really upset" when someone who you have never met doesn't message you back is is a clear indicator of being overly-invested in this person (as a previous poster said). However, I think your confusion could be resolved fairly quickly if you ask to schedule a virtual "date" (facetime, skype, etc) - if she agrees or says no then you have a clear answer as to whether she is interested in you or just being kind to someone in her fan base.

 

I don't feel going into anymore detail is really necessary to be honest with you. She would indeed video call me if I asked tho, ty for the idea I just might do so, I could get a better gauge of how she feels then I guess. I am indeed also as attached as can be to the idea of dating her, you;re right. I don't think that's a bad thing either, it shows that I'm dedicated to this one girl. I can't be fussed with anyone but her, I've not been on the "dating scene" for ages and had no interest, I just naturally really like this one girl and wish to push things forward is all

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I don't feel going into anymore detail is really necessary to be honest with you. She would indeed video call me if I asked tho, ty for the idea I just might do so, I could get a better gauge of how she feels then I guess. I am indeed also as attached as can be to the idea of dating her, you;re right. I don't think that's a bad thing either, it shows that I'm dedicated to this one girl. I can't be fussed with anyone but her, I've not been on the "dating scene" for ages and had no interest, I just naturally really like this one girl and wish to push things forward is all

 

You don't have to give detail; based on what you provided my perception (as someone unconnected to this situation and just using what you said to form this idea) is that she, like many other internet personalities with a fan base, will send personalized videos when someone from that group of individuals sends gifts or money. I can't say for certain that this is comparable to your situation or how she is interacting with other people, but again, I am making this suggestion based the information you have given.

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