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My girlfriend gets really angry about my past


digitaljohn

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My girlfriend sometimes gets really angry about my past (who I dated, slept with...)

 

I have changed myself into a better person since I met her but these things came back to haunt me. I stupidly told her about my past and now she gets angry whenever she thinks about it and wants to break up.

 

She usually cools down the next day after swearing at me and hitting me and telling me to get the out.

 

I really do love her very much and I understand her anger but I feel that there is nothing I can do to change my past.

 

What should I do?

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She usually cools down the next day after swearing at me and hitting me and telling me to get the out.

 

I really do love her very much and I understand her anger but I feel that there is nothing I can do to change my past.

 

You understand her anger? Dude, no. Just no. There is nothing understandable about her irrational anger over things that happened before you met her.

 

She is abusive. Full stop. Dump her.

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You're right about one thing, you cannot change your past.

 

But can you change the future? Yes!

 

You do not deserve to be treated like this. Whatever you did. Its your life. Its the past. She can't accept and is acting horribly to you.

 

Dump her.

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She actually is a very nice and caring person. Although she has a different side to her and anger management issues.

 

When she isn’t angry we actually are great. It’s only when she thinks about my past or get triggered by something she’d go nuts.

 

This morning, I woke up she was already angry at me. She went through my Facebook timeline and found the stuffs I posted 10 years ago (I like Russian, do latinas like asian men?, I want a Vietnamese girlfriend...etc). She was raging and hitting me.

 

She also questioned my Instagram which I deleted about the girls I followed before I met her. What do I do?

 

We have been together for 6 months. Can I fix this?

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People who are "nice and caring" do not behave in these ways. I do hope, for your sake, that you come to understand that, as it is a fact, no less real or debatable than the fact of the coronavirus.

 

Whether it is because you find her very attractive, or because you for some reason want to be punished for your own past—well, something is causing you to process "mean and careless" behavior as "nice and caring." Can't pinpoint what it is, from these seats, but it might be worth asking why you're even willing to entertain her narrative of your past being so awful.

 

You're trying to "fix" something with someone who just hit you because of something you posted on Facebook a decade ago. Put that in a pipe really quick, and take a big hit. It's like trying to "fix" a car that's been pushed over the edge of the Grand Canyon, while you're in the trunk. Nice thought, but a dangerous one to indulge in too much.

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I donÂ’t think I deserve to be cursed at or hit but she apologises afterwards. She really hates my guts sometimes and criticise my past. It doesnÂ’t help that she is so curious to find out more and more about the things I did wrong (according to her) in the past.

 

Do you think she loves me a lot and just is extremely jealous?

 

Or she doesnÂ’t love me at all and looking for a reason to move on? She told me to move out and wants us to end on so many occasions I lost count but I always stay and wait till she cools down and then we are good again until she discovers something else.

 

I am happy to wipe out the past evidences (online) and most of them has been deleted. I am praying for no more discoveries from now.

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Six months and you already live together? Mind if I ask how old you guys are?

 

Does it matter if she loves you or not? Like, if a scientific machine existed that could tell you she does, it wouldn’t remove the part where she is violent and irrational, and looking for reasons to get more violent, more irrational.

 

Point being, I think you’re focusing on the wrong stuff. Love is really just a thing we humans can label...well, whatever we want to call love. Is this that, for you?

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Hey guys, thanks for all of your responses.

 

Just to clarify, she doesn’t go out of her way to hit or curse at me. It usually goes like this:

 

-She gets angry and starts saying I don’t want to date you anymore

-I get a bit upset but try to distract her

-Fail to distract her and she starts telling me to get out

-I stay in the room and try some more to distract her

-Things escalate and turn into violence resulting in me leaving the room

-I come back when she cools down. She will be upset with me a for a bit then we are good a few hours later

 

I don’t hit or curse at her unless I’m absolutely edged (slapped her twice but with minimal force and that’s about it).

 

I love her a lot and I think we are just dealing with issues the wrong way. I am going to filter through all my online presences and delete what she doesn’t need to know about. It really isn’t a big deal some of these stuffs I did but she is pretty opinionated about certain things and can’t be convinced otherwise.

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Is this a BDSM situation? Why else would you participate in this?

This morning, I woke up she was already angry at me. She went through my Facebook timeline and found the stuffs I posted 10 years ago (I like Russian, do latinas like asian men?, I want a Vietnamese girlfriend...etc). She was raging and hitting me.

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This will give more context:

 

"ust to clarify, she doesn’t go out of her way to hit or curse at me. It usually goes like this:

 

-She gets angry and starts saying I don’t want to date you anymore

-I get a bit upset but try to distract her

-Fail to distract her and she starts telling me to get out

-I stay in the room and try some more to distract her

-Things escalate and turn into violence resulting in me leaving the room

-I come back when she cools down. She will be upset with me a for a bit then we are good a few hours later

 

I don’t hit or curse at her unless I’m absolutely edged (slapped her twice but with minimal force and that’s about it)."

 

[

B]"She actually is a very nice and caring person. Although she has a different side to her and anger management issues.

 

When she isn’t angry we actually are great. It’s only when she thinks about my past or get triggered by something she’d go nuts.

 

This morning, I woke up she was already angry at me. She went through my Facebook timeline and found the stuffs I posted 10 years ago (I like Russian, do latinas like asian men?, I want a Vietnamese girlfriend...etc). She was raging and hitting me.

 

She also questioned my Instagram which I deleted about the girls I followed before I met her. What do I do?"

 

You seem to thrive on drama and chaos. No love here.

 

What do your friends and family think?

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