Should I break up with my boyfriend?

[Wilsonskye14]

So I’m having a mental crisis. I’ve been with this guy for almost 2 years and we got engaged 3 months ago. I’m 24 and he’s 25. We live together and have 2 dogs together. I’ve had on and off feelings about the relationship the entire time.

I’ll list off the pros and cons of dating this person.

 

Pros: he can be very sweet to me, I’m comfortable around him, I know he loves me and cares about me, I know I love him, he’s the only person I have in my life besides my family.

Cons: he has a temper, we have differing views on a lot, I have a job and he doesn’t which forces us to live with my parents because I don’t make enough at my job, he doesn’t show me affection the way I want it (I’ve told him this numerous times and no change), he doesn’t do much for me, and we never have sex (maybe 1x every 2-3 weeks) & that’s because he doesn’t want to.

I also have been missing being single.

 

I didn’t truly start to doubt us until my ex boyfriend/former best friend messaged me wishing me a happy birthday last year.

Basically I’ve been best friends with this other guy for 8 years but it’s been a complicating 8 years. I stopped being friends with this person because I could tell my boyfriend was jealous of the friendship.

So when he messaged me I messaged him back and it was a platonic thing, no flirting or anything, just catching up but I didn’t tell my boyfriend. One day he visited me at work and when I saw him literally so many confusing emotions flooded out of me.

 

Soon after my boyfriend and I broke up because I was confused. But as soon as I broke up with him, it didn’t feel right. I felt like I was supposed to stay with him and begged for him back and we got back together.

A few months later he proposed to me, I said yes. I was convinced I wanted to be with him.

 

But then lately I’ve been having doubts. I’m severely struggling financially, He got a job and quit it, and basically guilted me into buying a $1000 puppy I didn’t want because we couldn’t afford it. This was a month ago and ever since then I’ve been obsessively doubting our relationship.

 

He found out I was messaging my ex/best friend and I told him I just wanted to be friends but he told me he didn’t want me talking to him anymore so I haven’t.

Ever since I’m very quiet, confused, and depressed because I don’t know what to do.

 

He doesn’t have a job, we don’t agree on the same things all the time, I don’t like him kissing me anymore.

 

On the other hand, I do know I care about him and do love him. I’m afraid of what will happen if we did break up. I don't want to break his heart and I don’t want to make the wrong decision. I feel like I can’t accomplish anything being with him either. I also don’t want to lie from him or keep things from him.

 

I just don’t know what to do anymore. I’ve never been so confused in my life. I don’t know what I should do. Please help.

 

I’m sorry if this is jumbled and confusing. It’s a lot of messy emotions and conflicting feelings.