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Cure for being lazy


Bluemoon17

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I always wanted to be that type of practical, energical and always responsible woman who is focused on home duties. But I am quite opposite. I have been trying to fight my way of being(always tend to lay instead of getting up and do something) but it doesn’t come naturally. Any counsels on this?

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Do you live with parents, roommates, a bf or alone? What is this caused by? If you feel tired, depressed,etc. go to a doctor. If you lack self discipline, well that means...just get up and do it then reward yourself for each unpleasant task. Laying around, being sedentary is unhealthy and unattractive.

 

My advice about your situation remains the same: https://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=559679&p=7129949&viewfull=1#post7129949

I have been trying to fight my way of being(always tend to lay instead of getting up and do something) but it doesn’t come naturally.
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I have lived with parents all my life, now I live alone(for 1 month). I think it is just a trait of mine.

 

Not a trait, just a habit. Habits can be changed if you want to, but it's not easy.

 

If you really want, make a schedule you can realistically maintain. Like get up at x time, shower, do x, y, z chores. You will have to force yourself to stick to it every single day, no cheating, no skipping out. At first it will be easy because you are trying something new and exciting, once the new wears off, you'll be horribly tempted to quit. If you persevere, you'll create the new habits that you want to have and it will become a normal part of your life - like you'll be uncomfortable if you don't follow through. This takes 3-6 months to really set in properly and the first 3 months will be the absolute hardest.

 

So how much do you want to change your ways?

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Not a trait, just a habit. Habits can be changed if you want to, but it's not easy.

 

If you really want, make a schedule you can realistically maintain. Like get up at x time, shower, do x, y, z chores. You will have to force yourself to stick to it every single day, no cheating, no skipping out. At first it will be easy because you are trying something new and exciting, once the new wears off, you'll be horribly tempted to quit. If you persevere, you'll create the new habits that you want to have and it will become a normal part of your life - like you'll be uncomfortable if you don't follow through. This takes 3-6 months to really set in properly and the first 3 months will be the absolute hardest.

 

So how much do you want to change your ways?

 

This and also prep in advance -so my workout clothes are right on my nightstand/my water bottle accessible and often already filled, phone and earbuds charged/ready for my daily cardio which I typically finish before 7:50am.

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How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.

 

If you’re framing this as a “fundamental, profound life change” thing well that’s a pretty monumental task and personally, those kinds of things overwhelm me and I just shirk.

 

But what would happen if you decided that “just for today” I will do one small thing (pick up a piece of trash, put away one item of laundry, etc.) to improve the condition of every room of my house that I walk into. For example, if you go to the bathroom maybe you just clean the mirror. No need to deep clean the entire room...just one quick thing. This kind of “bettering” helps my house get and stay pretty clean and tidy; rather than the all or nothing kind of thinking that makes me hide from the unbearable weight of perfection.

 

Also, if there’s something I need to do - a quick countdown (5, 4, 3, 2, 1!) is insanely helpful. It sounded SO stupid to me until I watched the YouTube video about it and tried it. Another example: I know there is a sink full of dishes I have to go take care of but I don’t feel like it. I do a countdown to standing up and walking over to to do the task; it’s absolutely bonkers how motivating that countdown is..! Here is a link to a five minute video about this technique but if you search “motivation countdown” on youtube there is a 22 minute interview with the woman I learned this from which is fascinating.

 

 

Best wishes!

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Ok then you just need to settle in and get organized. Agree, one small task here and there works better than letting things pile up and then the dread piles up.

I have lived with parents all my life, now I live alone(for 1 month). I think it is just a trait of mine.
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Personally, I've found to be more industrious and productive as a morning person vs. a night owl. This means to gradually alter your sleep schedule. "Early to bed and early to rise, helps make a man (or woman), healthy, wealthy and wise!" :D

 

Give yourself the power of positive thinking and write a checklist. Also, shut off the Internet and social media because it turns into a huge time trap. :upset: Turn off your PC, cell phone and stay focused on exercise, eating healthy with food prep, declutter, donate or discard stuff and get organized.

 

In the past, prior to COVID-19, I gave too much of myself to others. I'm into cooking so I cooked for several neighbors whenever their lives were in turmoil, volunteered to cook for 40 people (out of pocket expense) for a church group who were recovering drug addicts and alcoholics, volunteered to cook for 300 kids at an abused kids facility, fed the homeless every month, gave manicures and pedicures to the elderly in nursing homes, volunteered at my children's elementary school, was on the board at their organized sports (I was VP), sewed handmade quilts for friends and family, etc. The problem was, my house was going to pot from doing so much for others. I was so busy helping others that my own house became sorely neglected.

 

I was also very busy socially, had lunch with a group of my lady friends from church regularly, was part of a monthly Bunco group which I hosted several times a year and hardly ever home. My husband and I were two passing ships. :upset: My husband, sons and I rarely ate dinner together and since I was pressed for time, we spent more money on take out / carry out meals which was ridiculous because restaurant food never tastes as delicious as home cooked dinners.

 

Helping others came to a sudden grinding, screeching halt.

 

I didn't have time for my own family.

 

After giving my dog 14 years of a great life, she passed away. I suddenly had time between learning to say "NO" to everyone and no longer taking care of a pet everyday. I let go of my relatives and in-laws by no longer becoming excessively and emotionally attached to them. We're all kind to one another. However, we give each other a lot of time and space. I have more time and money. I don't plan on acquiring anymore pets after giving great lives to dogs, cats, rabbits, lizards and aquarium fish. I can get more work done around my house, can finally focus on my health, dress better from head-to-toe, afford an occasional designer handbag as opposed to being chronically dead broke and not being able to afford anything.

 

If you don't want to be lazy, set your priorities straight. That's how you do it. Make a permanent change. Since you have to hunker down during this COVID-19 pandemic, you might as well make wise use of your time and become industrious and productive.

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Create a vision for yourself, a goal so to speak. Physically? Then go for a walk or some type of physical activity. Mentally? Then read books or enroll in an online class. Emotionally? Stay on ENA! :smug:

 

I have lived alone for the past months and activity has reduced tremendously, no more rush to cook for anyone or clean for anyone. But I make sure to keep me physically fit, I have to keep going as if nothing changed. Due to COVID19, my gym has closed so I put youtube zumba vidoes that do make me feel better. I am enrolled in a Project Management class and do have 2 jobs on my plate. I make sure I am dead tired before climbing to bed, to help me cope with the change. Not the healthiest but the way I know now.

 

How about volunteering to walk your neighbor's dog for starters? Or mini projects at home like organizing your spice cabinet?

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I have lived with parents all my life, now I live alone(for 1 month).

 

That'll do it. Most people are not motivated by doing chores in their parents' home. Now that you're on you're own, you can envision the kind of space you want to create for yourself. Use decor sites and magazine articles to get ideas for storage, organization, color schemes and ways to decorate that inspire you, then make a list of things to do or buy over time.

 

Each move in the right direction will gain you a sense of accomplishment, and that can become motivating enough to complete more of the things on your list. Over time, it just becomes a matter of maintaining your space the way you want it.

 

I think it is just a trait of mine.

 

If you choose this idea, then nothing anyone can say or do can help you to choose differently.

 

It's a decision.

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How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.

 

I can only agree with this. One does not simply become a "better person" over night. Habits need to be learned. Start small, for example make your bed every morning. By time, you'll find it easier and easier to do more stuff. Good Luck :)

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What's a hobby of yours? Hobbies can be quite motivating.

 

What works for me is to have a sort of ritual to get you started and a goal to achieve for that day. For example: Nothing like a wonderful freshly brewed cup of coffee in the morning. This is a great reason to wake up early. What's yours? Then, what would you like to have accomplished during that day? One simple goal. E.g.: On Monday I'll take the rubbish out, on Tuesday I'll do the laundry and on Wednesday I'll water the garden.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Hello : ) I started living on my own 1 year ago and initially I was struggling with the same issue and only recently I've managed to keep track of daily habits that help me maintain some self-discipline. I started waking up earlier and start with the things that bore me the most, namely working out and cleaning the kitchen. It kind of helps you feeling more accomplished because you start the day dealing with the more "difficult" things.

 

Likewise, it is important that you implement one habit at the time in your routine. It took me a lot of time to be successfull with my goals because I wanted to change too many habits at the same time - it was a huge mess. Baby steps are key : ) Good luck and stay strong, you can do this!

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