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I just learned the Guy I previously dated passed away


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Please, all I ask is dont be hard on me I just learned that the guy I previously dated and loved very much that I had an instant connection with passed away last week. I didn't even know until I saw his obituary on his father Facebook page. He was so young 42 full of life and now he's gone. It came a shock to me because I didn't even know of his passing until today. Let's call him C. C did mention me to his mom when we first met. So I reached out to her on Facebook messenger that how much I loved and cared for her son And gave her my condolences to her and their family. And how much he was a big part of my life. He's gone and I didnt get to tell him I love him so much. Even during our fall outside I still loved him.

 

I told him not to overdo it. I told him not to stress himself out working 7 days a week and not being able to take care of himself. And now he's gone. He's dead and never coming back. I didnt know about his passing up until today when I found the obituary. So it came as a shock to me. They said his death was sudden.

 

How do you cope a death of a person whom you loved so much ? He was a big part of my life. And now he's gone. He was a beautiful person inside and out. He didnt deserve to die. It wasnt his time to go.

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It was a shock. Big time. I know his family is grieving and must not be easy on them either. But I need to know what happened to him.

 

QUOTE=shellyf62;7206093]I'm so sorry. It must have been a huge shock learning about his passing this way!

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Please, all I ask is dont be hard on me I just learned that the guy I previously dated and loved very much that I had an instant connection with passed away last week. I didn't even know until I saw his obituary on his father Facebook page. He was so young 42 full of life and now he's gone. It came a shock to me because I didn't even know of his passing until today. Let's call him C. C did mention me to his mom when we first met. So I reached out to her on Facebook messenger that how much I loved and cared for her son And gave her my condolences to her and their family. And how much he was a big part of my life. He's gone and I didnt get to tell him I love him so much. Even during our fall outside I still loved him.

 

I told him not to overdo it. I told him not to stress himself out working 7 days a week and not being able to take care of himself. And now he's gone. He's dead and never coming back. I didnt know about his passing up until today when I found the obituary. So it came as a shock to me. They said his death was sudden.

 

How do you cope a death of a person whom you loved so much ? He was a big part of my life. And now he's gone. He was a beautiful person inside and out. He didnt deserve to die. It wasnt his time to go.

 

So similar to what happened to me 3 1/2 years ago.

 

Guy I had been seeing off and on for a few years, we had a bit of a falling out but the morning of the day he died we had a nice exchange via text and he was on his way up to my area (he had recently moved for work, which was part of our falling out) that evening--it was a Friday--and he never arrived. I found out Sunday afternoon he had died on the way, while driving. He was able to pull off to the side of the road and no other cars were involved. He was 63 and had heart problems so it wasn't TOTALLY unexpected but it was still surprising nonetheless. I felt guilty for a long time afterwards thinking it was my fault since he had been on his way to see me.

 

My 20-something daughter was murdered a year and a half later, and then my mother had a massive stroke and died six months after that. I'm still in shock at everything that happened in such a short timeframe.

 

So I guess I should have the answer to the question you asked above. But I don't. Individual therapy didn't work well for me, but group therapy did. Your experience with those things may be different, but what I'm saying is this is quite a shock so don't be afraid to reach out and see what help is available.

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I'm so sorry for your loss. I bet it wasnt easy for you either. It came as a total shock to me because I didnt want to find out about his passing through his obituary. I just cant believe he's still gone. He was the love of my life, my soulmate, my best friend. We had so many plans. A part of me wants to find out what happened to him and a part of me doesn't. If this continues after a week of not being able to cope I might as well go to a group.

 

 

 

 

 

So similar to what happened to me 3 1/2 years ago.

 

Guy I had been seeing off and on for a few years, we had a bit of a falling out but the morning of the day he died we had a nice exchange via text and he was on his way up to my area (he had recently moved for work, which was part of our falling out) that evening--it was a Friday--and he never arrived. I found out Sunday afternoon he had died on the way, while driving. He was able to pull off to the side of the road and no other cars were involved. He was 63 and had heart problems so it wasn't TOTALLY unexpected but it was still surprising nonetheless. I felt guilty for a long time afterwards thinking it was my fault since he had been on his way to see me.

 

My 20-something daughter was murdered a year and a half later, and then my mother had a massive stroke and died six months after that. I'm still in shock at everything that happened in such a short timeframe.

 

So I guess I should have the answer to the question you asked above. But I don't. Individual therapy didn't work well for me, but group therapy did. Your experience with those things may be different, but what I'm saying is this is quite a shock so don't be afraid to reach out and see what help is available.

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I'm sorry for your loss, coolgirl. :upset:

 

How to cope? If you're religious and faith based, pray for him and his family.

 

I've had a lot of death in my life whether it was my father when I was a young girl, numerous relatives, in-laws and friends. It's part of life to grieve and mourn. You let time heal your old wounds someday and today's pain will become a blur in your future. The pain will always be there; it's just the tears are less.

 

I hope you find solace knowing that you gave him happiness during his brief time on this Earth.

 

Hopefully you can cope with healthy distractions such as exercise and surrounding yourself with moral people virtually during this COVID-19 pandemic. Then in the future, resume, socializing with high character, supportive people.

 

Don't be too fixated on misery. Do things such as hobbies or whatever you can do while hunkered down at home. When your mind is idle, you'll think of negative thoughts including grief. When your mind is distracted in a healthy way, you'll concentrate on something else.

 

Sometimes people carry on a person's legacy by doing a good cause in their honor. That would be a loving tribute to "C."

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